tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20642800.post6009843594768464794..comments2024-03-05T11:36:50.299-05:00Comments on Stand and Deliver: Formative wordsRixahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07908864785513937876noreply@blogger.comBlogger11125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20642800.post-60156868760309755182007-08-28T18:08:00.000-04:002007-08-28T18:08:00.000-04:00One of the things that surprised me the most about...One of the things that surprised me the most about doing my own prenantal care was how very seriously I took the job at hand.<BR/><BR/>I had thought during my first three pregnancies that I was particularly proactive and worked hard to make a healthy child, but until I took it upon myself during my fourth pregnancy to do the whole pregnancy without seeing anyone for anything, my own definition of personal responsibility took a swerve up into the clouds.<BR/><BR/>In the past twelve years friends who discover that I gave birth alone are very surpised, but they are completely gobsmacked when I tell them I did my own prenantal care.<BR/><BR/>The ripple effect into a family is powerful. I continue to observe friends do so much for older children that they are completely capable of doing for themselves.<BR/><BR/>My own children seem to feel the spirit of Freebirth in our home. They are so proactive on so many levels of their lives. Not claiming they are perfect mind you, but the sense of "I can do it myself" is very, very strong in our home.<BR/><BR/>Currently I am enjoying my four year old Ben as he gradually weans from our Family bed, and attachment breastfeeding. He is so confident some days. He wants to sleep in his own bed, nursing is for babies, and he is the MAN in little boys body.<BR/><BR/>Yet he has moments of complete surrender to his needs as a little person, and happily reverts back to a mommas boy for nursies, naps, and snuggle time in bed with mom and dad. He is my first child that will self wean, I had to use extreme coersion with three previous babes to get them off the breast. My daughter stopped nursing at 4 and a half, not because she was ready but because momma was tandem nursing during a pregnancy and could not do it anymore.<BR/><BR/>My next two boys were both weaned on third birthdays, although they were also not ready. I tried to wean Ben on his third birthday for consistencies sake, but he moped around for a week and was so sad, I did not have the heart to do it.<BR/><BR/>I find it no accident that this child who was Freeborn Lotus Style, who has such acute intuition to his own needs as a preschooler that he regularly informs me in direct and very clearn language exactly what his needs are in the moment, I find it no accident that this pattern of internal confidence to know his own needs continues on.<BR/><BR/>During his pregnancy I would regularly talk to him to ask what he needed from me in terms of exercise, nutrition, etc etc... And he guided me through my dreams, my mothers intuition, and spirit to spirit to know exactly what he wanted. Up to the second he was born, I was being guided, mostly by him (and his assorted guardian angels).<BR/><BR/>This perfect guiding is SO MUCH more powerful that an outside paid hireling giving his or her "expert" opinion on the various issues of pregnancy.<BR/><BR/>I challenge all women to take on the task of growing and birthing the baby all by themselves. It will change everything in your life.<BR/><BR/><BR/>Jenny Hatch<BR/>WWW.NaturalFamilyBLOG.comAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20642800.post-64039006062128912692007-08-27T19:04:00.000-04:002007-08-27T19:04:00.000-04:00Excellent, Rixa! I hadn't read that before. Gloria...Excellent, Rixa! I hadn't read that before. Gloria is a gem.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20642800.post-62845309080530646492007-08-26T18:35:00.000-04:002007-08-26T18:35:00.000-04:00Absolutely. There are still lots of great midwives...Absolutely. There are still lots of great midwives, just like there are great OBs out there, but it's a huge letdown to expect that because a midwife has that label, that she will welcome a natural birth, which isn't always the case. Of course, I'm only speaking of my limited experience with CNMs (MEDwives), I've never had a homebirth with a midwife, be she CNM or lay midwife, so I admit my perception isn't very broad. ;)<BR/><BR/>-JillAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20642800.post-27660224161846212782007-08-26T15:27:00.000-04:002007-08-26T15:27:00.000-04:00Jill,Regarding midwives doing it by the book, I'd ...Jill,<BR/>Regarding midwives doing it by the book, I'd say that it depends. These quotes made me squirm and do a lot more reading, because at that point I really idealized home birth midwives. The stories and articles in this post suggested otherwise. Not that all midwives are interventive and protocol-oriented, or that all doctors are bad, or whatever. But at the time, the idea that midwives could interfere with the birth process--especially home birth midwives, who were supposed to be the ones who "got it" and respected the natural process--really challenged me. At first I didn't really want to believe it. <BR/><BR/>So it's not that I've gone from thinking that midwives = good to midwives = evil incarnate. I just have a more realistic view of them, just as I do of obstetricians. There are fantastic ones, egotistic ones, bait-and-switch ones, medically oriented ones, and so on. I guess in the end, what I learned is that you can't assume that your birth will be a certain way just because you have X or Y title of caregiver. Makes sense?Rixahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07908864785513937876noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20642800.post-45974977642158184162007-08-26T14:04:00.000-04:002007-08-26T14:04:00.000-04:00I agree wholeheartedly with the quote about midwiv...I agree wholeheartedly with the quote about midwives. They may be more natural-minded than the average OB, but they are still bound to do things "by the book," unfortunately.<BR/><BR/>I think I may have read those birth stories before, but I'll go back and read them again later when I have more time.<BR/><BR/>This was a great post, it's interesting to see how one's view on something like this shifts in response to other influences. <BR/><BR/>-JillAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20642800.post-46311008311368224402007-08-25T23:26:00.000-04:002007-08-25T23:26:00.000-04:00Kelley, I sympathize with your dilemma. Perhaps yo...Kelley, <BR/>I sympathize with your dilemma. Perhaps your first job is to figure out why you feel the need to give up autonomy when you see a health care provider. There are awesome midwives out there, so it might not be an either/or dilemma. Of course, the awesome ones might not live in your neck of the woods...<BR/><BR/>I do understand the feeling of helplessness and indecisiveness in the face of medical authority. When I brought Zari in for a PKU test at 8 days after the birth, my family doc gave me a big scare about jaundice because she looked a tad yellowish. I had read Jack Newman's book cover to cover a few times and I *knew* that jaundice was normal, physiological, and not something to be worried about, especially because Zari had no other health issues that would suggest she had pathologic, rather than physiologic, jaundice. The doctor started giving me scare tactics (although she would not frame them as such) like, "Well it's your choice if you don't want to test her bilirubin levels but I wouldn't want to risk a brain-damaged baby." I mean, talk about a hard thing to say to a new mother! Anyway I ended up doing the bili test (partly to get her off my back, and partly because she was already doing a heel prick for the PKU so it wasn't any additional poking). Retrospectively I was somewhat surprised that I agreed to it, since I knew there was nothing wrong! <BR/><BR/>Anyway back to my original thought: I think education and research on your end, and a respectful HCP on the other, might yield a more fruitful relationship. I might feel intimidated researching neurological problems, but knowing about birth is totally do-able. You already know a lot anyway! Also, if you at some point establish a relationship with a midwife (perhaps starting well before you're pregnant so you're less emotionally involved?), I would be totally direct and upfront with her about your desires for autonomy and UC/UP, your previous home and hospital birth experiences, your husband's desire for a midwife, etc. If the midwife isn't right for you, there's no obligation to hire her. There ARE midwives out there who are fine with doing limited prenatal care, with sitting in the driveway until they're called in, etc. Now, unfortunately, they are few and far between. But you never know unless you ask, right? <BR/><BR/>So perhaps you could have a working agreement with your husband that you will look for a midwife who is totally on board with your needs for pregnancy & birth and that if you feel one, and feel right about it, you will use her. But if you don't find a midwife who can support your wishes, then you will continue with your UP/UC plans. And on his end, he could agree to learn more why you want a UP/UC, do some reading about UC from the father's perspective, etc. Also, he could agree to approach the issue with an open mind and not to let his own fears or hesitations block him from knowing what is the *right* decision for you and your family.Rixahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07908864785513937876noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20642800.post-50268852122077838942007-08-25T21:12:00.000-04:002007-08-25T21:12:00.000-04:00I LOVED Baby Catcher. Although I cried a dreadful ...I LOVED Baby Catcher. Although I cried a dreadful amount and had horrible dreams after reading about the prolapsed cord.<BR/><BR/>But I think my favorite funny story from there is about the woman birthing in the car and their whole process of trying to get TO the hospital, only to have the baby born right there and then, and the husband stomping on the placenta so it wouldn't rush down the drain.. lol<BR/><BR/>and I still quote about the "spirit babies" beautiful. especially after having a miscarriage and becoming pregnant this time around within the same month.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20642800.post-54007584202971897052007-08-25T19:31:00.000-04:002007-08-25T19:31:00.000-04:00"We are told that prenatal care is essential. We b..."We are told that prenatal care is essential. We believe it is a cornerstone of good maternal/natal health. But is this true?"<BR/><BR/>This is an interesting quote. I've been doing a lot of thinking along these lines lately because I have discovered a disturbing characteristic in myself - when I relinquish even a part of my autonomy as I meet with a medical professional for any reason, homebirth midwives included, I automatically feel the need to relinquish all of it. I find that suddenly I am no longer the expert in my own body because I bow to the expertise of another person, though they may not know me from Adam. This is mightily disturbing. It is why I no longer go to well-baby checks for my kids. It is why I avoid going to the neurologist with Josh unless absolutely necessary.<BR/><BR/>My husband is still very uncooperative with the idea of a UC, but my concern is that in order to have a midwife there who is familiar with you, you have to meet with them beforehand. I, however, am feeling a pull towards a UP because I do not want to give up my autonomy with the next baby. I think I want to do a UC, but I also want peace and harmony with my husband. Must I really make this choice?<BR/><BR/>I love your blog, Rixa, because you say things and link to things that cause me to think. Like you, I thought I had made my paradigm shift, but as I read what you write, I realize that I have come nowhere near completing the process. This is a disturbing and encouraging thought.Kelleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16703334707738126703noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20642800.post-21088851687803973092007-08-25T11:28:00.000-04:002007-08-25T11:28:00.000-04:00This was such a good read...your insights as well ...This was such a good read...your insights as well as the writers you quoted. Thanks for putting it up. I am meeting with my potential childbirth attendants tomorrow for the first time, and this has given me still more questions to ask of them. Thank you!Ms. Smoochyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12465535795885692973noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20642800.post-52576316086155911872007-08-25T09:34:00.000-04:002007-08-25T09:34:00.000-04:00I don't have a link--I accessed the article via my...I don't have a link--I accessed the article via my university account. The article is almost all there on my post, except for a few paragraphs near the end. I can send the whole thing to you if you'd like. <BR/><BR/>I didn't realize Michel Odent had that reputation among some midwives. I've only heard good things about him. Hmmmm. He is quite direct. I love it! I met him a few years back at a birth conference and was totally star-struck. We chatted (in French, bien sur!) for a while and I got a picture with him. Oooh, that would be fun to post here! Off to do that...Rixahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07908864785513937876noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20642800.post-79569073111931045712007-08-24T23:55:00.000-04:002007-08-24T23:55:00.000-04:00yes, it's clear: i love you.please link to that ar...yes, it's clear: i love you.<BR/><BR/>please link to that article by gloria.<BR/><BR/>i love michel odent and feel that he's gotten so much flack by midwives and the natural birth movement for being too honest.Pamelahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12740691730251268494noreply@blogger.com