Blessingway

I spent the morning and afternoon getting the house cleaned and ready for the Blessingway. I went outside and cut just about every daffodil in our yard and put them all around the house. I found these lovely peach and white daffodils on the east side of our house. I never knew they came in that color.

My friend Julie arrived in the afternoon with her 14-month old Joyce. She is a fellow LDS graduate student and home birther who lives about an hour and a half away. She found me via my blog a few months ago, and we started emailing and talking to each other. She's finishing her master's degree and just got accepted into a PhD program and will probably be focusing on some aspect of childbirth. We had arranged to meet in person at least three times before the Blessingway, but one or both of us had had to cancel each time at the last minute. So we saw each other in the flesh for the first time yesterday! It's good that we felt comfortable around each other, because one of the first things I did was strip down to a bikini and ask her to take some belly shots of me. She took some lovely ones, which I'll post soon.

Setting up chairs and chatting.

My friend Julie, turned away from the camera, talking with my midwife and a friend of mine (both of whom are pregnant). Julie on the left and my mom holding Julie's daughter. Zari kept asking to play with her today.

Once we were all sitting down, the guests took turns introducing themselves and describing how they knew me. There were several women I had met at church, some friends who are Eric's collegauges (or faculty spouses), the midwife and her four assistants/apprentices, my mom, my sister from Dayton, and my friend Julie, who organized the event.

Each of us also shared a favorite memory either of our own mothers, or of being a mother. Some were very poignant, some quite funny, others sweet and simple. My story was a recent one. A few weeks ago, Zari and I watched Eric play intermural indoor soccer. The teams were shirts vs. skins, so there were a lot of bare-chested men running around. Zari kept saying something with the phrase "little tiny." I finally turned closer to hear, and this is what she was repeating to me as she was watching the men play soccer: "He has little tiny breasts." I tried not to laugh as I told her, "yes, he does." Then she turned to me, patted my chest, and said, "Mama has big breasts." Best of all was when she pointed to a more...ahem...pudgy man and said very earnestly, "He has big breasts too."

Julie then invited my midwife to give a short thought/devotional. She talked about overcoming fear & pain in childbirth. Each of us spoke about things that had given us fear or anxiety during pregnancy or motherhood.

Next, we took a break to stretch our legs and feast on all of the delicious food my guests had brought. Then it was time to do a henna tattoo!Most everyone took turns drawing this tree of life design on my belly. I was quite impressed. Notice the knot hole on the tree (aka my belly button).

While we were doing this, I had my guests read cards and hold up the quilt squares that my out-of-town friends and family had sent in. If you are one of those who are still working on your squares, this is a friendly reminder to send it to me soon so I can put the quilt together!

To finish the evening, each of the guests presented me with a bead they had brought. Once I get the necklace put together, I'll take a picture and explain some of the symbolism behind the various beads. A fun project for this weekend.

I spoke about some of the blessing ceremonies that Mormon women did over 100 years ago as they prepared for childbirth. Julie concluded the evening by reading Audrey Lorde's poem "Forever With Child."

We were going to do a belly cast after the Blessingway, but my midwife thought that it would be best to wait a few days, since I still had wet henna paint all over my belly. Instead, we did a quick prenatal visit, and I spoke to her assistants about my expectations for their role at the birth. (I won't have all four of them at my birth, of course; it depends on which one is available when I go into labor.) I peeled the dried henna off this morning, and now there's a lovely pale red tree decorating my belly. I hope it lasts until the baby arrives!

Thanks to everyone who participated in my Blessingway. It meant a lot to me to feel your love and support.