tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20642800.post2898528600900138215..comments2024-03-05T11:36:50.299-05:00Comments on Stand and Deliver: NightcrawlersRixahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07908864785513937876noreply@blogger.comBlogger90125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20642800.post-52180805403181297302010-04-10T21:20:01.708-04:002010-04-10T21:20:01.708-04:00Whenever my children hit milestones like crawling,...Whenever my children hit milestones like crawling, pulling up and walking, it always interrupted their sleep. Even after #3, we still have this issue. Anymore I just come in, nurse them back to sleep for a few minutes, and put them back to bed. It always passed after the novelty of their new skill wore off. :) <br /><br />As far as letting them cry, I have found that it worked for only one of my three. It was easier to nurse them back to sleep than let them cry, because I knew we would reach a point where it just wouldn't work. My oldest would cry for maybe 10 minutes, max, and then poop out and be asleep. He is, ironically, my best sleeper of all of them. My baby just turned a year old, and we are patiently waiting until he is a better sleeper before moving him into the bedroom with his older brother!The Deranged Housewifehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18038751876704709628noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20642800.post-38758019860250571492010-04-05T01:20:22.185-04:002010-04-05T01:20:22.185-04:00I don't think you can say that 15 min of CIO i...I don't think you can say that 15 min of CIO is really CIO.<br /><br />I think the true problems of CIO arise when parents allow their child to cry for hours, regardless of the age -that is abandonment.<br /><br />Or if they allow their child to vomit and not help them (which happens), or if they deny them drinks, cuddling, etc.<br /><br />Letting your child cry for 15 min in their crib, that is not CIO, in my opinion. True CIO is incredibly unethical and abandonment (how would you like it if your spouse just ignored you while you cried in another room for hours on end; now think how this feels to a helpless child who does rely on you for all their needs). I can see that you are exhuasted, but this is no picnic for Dio either. It never ceases to amaze me how parents can deny empathy to the one person who is so dear to them and relies on them for all their needs. Put yourself in Dio's shoes. If you would be fine left crying all night, then fine - but if not, can you really do that to your son?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20642800.post-28142899994554409172010-04-05T01:20:02.945-04:002010-04-05T01:20:02.945-04:00I don't think you can say that 15 min of CIO i...I don't think you can say that 15 min of CIO is really CIO.<br /><br />I think the true problems of CIO arise when parents allow their child to cry for hours, regardless of the age -that is abandonment.<br /><br />Or if they allow their child to vomit and not help them (which happens), or if they deny them drinks, cuddling, etc.<br /><br />Letting your child cry for 15 min in their crib, that is not CIO, in my opinion. True CIO is incredibly unethical and abandonment (how would you like it if your spouse just ignored you while you cried in another room for hours on end; now think how this feels to a helpless child who does rely on you for all their needs). I can see that you are exhuasted, but this is no picnic for Dio either. It never ceases to amaze me how parents can deny empathy to the one person who is so dear to them and relies on them for all their needs. Put yourself in Dio's shoes. If you would be fine left crying all night, then fine - but if not, can you really do that to your son?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20642800.post-23866656439868731932010-04-03T20:51:10.725-04:002010-04-03T20:51:10.725-04:00@ Melissa...absolutely. I cannot function without...@ Melissa...absolutely. I cannot function without some time to just...veg out or to do whatever *I* want or need to do. I can't even get good sleep without it, I'll just lay in bed awake!Rebekah Costellohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04796386818330396947noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20642800.post-66649439008151325892010-04-03T19:51:23.887-04:002010-04-03T19:51:23.887-04:00Melissa:
"I also wanted to add (I'm not ...Melissa:<br /><br />"I also wanted to add (I'm not sure how you feel about ppl's advice to go to bed earlier so this might not apply to you), that I need a few hours after my kids go to bed. If I go to bed early and get more sleep, I'm still grouchy the next day because I have had no time to recharge."<br /><br />I am the same as you. I need some time to myself, especially now that Zari isn't napping during the day (my decision--it means she goes to bed earlier and eliminated the stress of trying to get 2 kids to nap at the same time).Rixahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07908864785513937876noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20642800.post-62537812975903043172010-04-03T19:46:33.737-04:002010-04-03T19:46:33.737-04:00@ Rebekah:
"I don't think CIO with a baby...@ Rebekah:<br />"I don't think CIO with a baby that's nearly a year old is anything like CIO with a 3mo baby."<br /><br />I agree--and I feel that age has been neglected in many of the discussions about CIO. Dio sounds a lot like Abigail, which is why we can't co-sleep with him anymore. He is so sensitive to any sound, light, movement, etc.Rixahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07908864785513937876noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20642800.post-1800752224219499052010-04-03T15:50:29.753-04:002010-04-03T15:50:29.753-04:00Abigail was my CIO baby and like you, we waited un...Abigail was my CIO baby and like you, we waited until she was MUCH older than the "norm" for this technique. She was 10mo old and can I just say that I can completely and utterly relate to what you've written here. Exhausted desperate (Mommy) crying, trying to figure out WHAT ON EARTH I'm doing wrong?! Yeah, I know all about that. For us, CIO was the only solution, we'd tried everything else. What shocked me was how well it worked from the first night on. For Abby, it turned out, she just did NOT like co-sleeping. We were disturbing and distracting her. She needed her own space and QUIET. She sleeps like a rock now (she's almost 3) but back then, just sleeping "too loud" next to her woke her halway up. And then it was kicking, crying, angry, frustrated baby for hours. Nursing didn't work, lol. I don't actually miss that time at all, no matter what the books say about those "quiet" moments. *snort* <br /><br />I was so afraid it would take hours for her to stop crying. On the first night she was completely asleep in fifteen minutes. She woke once, I let her cry and she did so off and on for about an hour (not desperate sobbing crying, either, half asleep, frustrated and confused fussing. No real crying otherwise I don't know if I could have let it go on). She'd fuss for five minutes, be quiet, fuss for ten, be quiet and eventually she just went back to sleep. After that she slept through the whole night almost every night and still does. Every now and then, even at 3yrs (well, in 3wks, anyway) she will occasionally wake up confused and frustrated but now she's old enough for me to go, tuck her in, see if she needs anything and creep back out without confusing her. <br /><br />I have no idea if this will work for you but I just wanted to say that I don't think CIO with a baby that's nearly a year old is anything like CIO with a 3mo baby. Your son is much older now, he's aware that you love him and that if he NEEDS something you will be there. CIO at this age isn't indifferent abandonment in my opinion. There is also something to be said about mother's caring for themselves. You need your rest. Some sleep deprivation is one thing but when it becomes sleep desperation, then there is a real problem and it affects the whole family.Rebekah Costellohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04796386818330396947noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20642800.post-44965555678187853542010-04-03T03:28:44.340-04:002010-04-03T03:28:44.340-04:00Okay, I just wanted to add that I think it is perf...Okay, I just wanted to add that I think it is perfectly appropriate for a one year old (or eleven month old as in Dio's case) child to wake at night to nurse. Nursing is about more than filling a child's tummy, as you know! Sometimes they need contact! And often it bumps up their overall breastmilk intake over a 24 hour period, which helps them get the nutritional and immunological boost they need at that age.<br /><br />There is some great advice here, though! :) And some negative people...<br /><br />I also wanted to add (I'm not sure how you feel about ppl's advice to go to bed earlier so this might not apply to you), that I need a few hours after my kids go to bed. If I go to bed early and get more sleep, I'm still grouchy the next day because I have had no time to recharge (I'm an introvert so I need some non-touched solitary time to recharge--not everyone needs this but I do!). So if this is the case for you also, I feel for you!! Don't get me wrong, going to bed earlier is GREAT advice! I just know that it doesn't always pan out to be the greatest solution if you need those few hours of non kid time.<br /><br />:)<br /><br />I think you're doing a great job. Keep us posted!melissa v.https://www.blogger.com/profile/14872177586401321895noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20642800.post-57038828724960161442010-04-02T16:31:36.709-04:002010-04-02T16:31:36.709-04:00Rixa, I completely feel your pain. Robin has alway...Rixa, I completely feel your pain. Robin has always had trouble sleeping. It's been a constant struggle trying to make the right decisions for how to handle it -- the right balance of meeting her needs and getting us all sleep. Mostly we've failed ;)... I hope some other people here have given you advice and that it works. I don't have any brilliant insights; Robin and Holly both got me up twice last night and Robin is having trouble falling asleep (and she's the kind of kid who just gets more worked up if she cries).Laurenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11903428524066550435noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20642800.post-49776378555824713942010-04-02T08:24:22.873-04:002010-04-02T08:24:22.873-04:00About white noise and the cold of the fan, have yo...About white noise and the cold of the fan, have you tried the radio on non-station static? A friend of mine uses that for white noise... for the winter. <br /><br />May this period end soon!! Blessings.xAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20642800.post-2247691854047760312010-04-02T06:16:51.255-04:002010-04-02T06:16:51.255-04:00Oooh! Was thinking about this post and just had a ...Oooh! Was thinking about this post and just had a thought - how about a grobag?<br /><br />http://www.gro.co.uk/Grobag-baby-sleep-bags/View-all-products.html<br /><br />maybe dio would have a hard time crawling in it??Kimhttp://kblog.theschellingerhoudts.canoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20642800.post-12512711218819879692010-04-01T23:08:22.585-04:002010-04-01T23:08:22.585-04:00Oh Rixa,
I get what you are going through! My fir...Oh Rixa,<br />I get what you are going through! My first baby had colic, and I was up every 1 to 2 hours for 6 straight months. Sleep deprivation is nothing to make light of. It can lead to severe depression, parental resentment, and difficulty in bonding. Here is my advice: Do what is best for your family. Do not feel guilty about whatever choice you make. You are a great mom. The choice you make to help Dio sleep (and he is non-verbally asking you for help and direction) will be the right choice. No guilt, no judgments.Reality Roundshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11489382111809964841noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20642800.post-91172142641667710462010-04-01T22:28:28.853-04:002010-04-01T22:28:28.853-04:00Hey Rixa
already lots of suggestions - but my curr...Hey Rixa<br />already lots of suggestions - but my current fav book is by Anni Gethin - Helping Baby Sleep. It is not a CIO book - but strongly advocates that responding to baby at night is just as important as responding during the day.<br /><br />I have never done CIO with four children and have gotten to the point of desperation from sleep deprivation - hang in there. I can't give CIO advice - never done it - don't really see how it's ever helpful to the baby<br /><br />I would agree with previous posters about going to bed at 7-8pm. Making this change right away will help put everything into perspective.<br /><br />Dio may be a difficult teether - he's only 11 months - 12 year molars are coming in. Consider using lots of homeopathic meds/and other pain relief for a few nights and see what they results are.<br /><br />Dio may be having night terrors - and CIO will not help with this.<br /><br />A sleep sack may help keep him immobile. <br /><br />I'm looking forward to seeing how you find your rhythm with his little spirit. Remember as difficult as it is for you and Eric - it is even more difficult for him - he is looking to you for love and caring and understanding while he also navigates this stage.<br />ErinAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20642800.post-29997311244953994332010-04-01T21:44:27.376-04:002010-04-01T21:44:27.376-04:00Okay, I can see you've received piles of advic...Okay, I can see you've received piles of advice, but I must say that I DO understand sleep issues. I resorted to the CIO method with my first 3, but it didn't work with my 4th. She'd just get REALLY, REALLY mad and keep screaming. I think one time she went for 3 hours on and off. It was AWFUL! I finally found a fantastic book called "Good Night, Sleep Tight." It's basically a modified CIO method, but the difference is that you are in the room with the child and he/she can see you. I'm not sure how this would work with a regular bed, but with a crib I sat in a chair just to the side of it. My daughter could see me, touch me (I put my hands between the bars so she could hold onto me if she needed), and knew that she hadn't been abandoned. I was just very calm, and I soothed her with a rhythmic shush that seemed to help her. It took a while (about 45 minutes) for her to finally conk out that first night. The next night it was shorter, and the next night was shorter than that. She finally started just sleeping through the night, but it did take a while. I'm so grateful we did it, though, because I was dropping from sleep deprivation, too. I HATE that part about having a new baby. I sincerely hope you find something that works soon. I DO know how you feel.Kelleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16703334707738126703noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20642800.post-14187383024927659412010-04-01T14:29:52.811-04:002010-04-01T14:29:52.811-04:00When children sleepwalk (or crawl) it's usuall...When children sleepwalk (or crawl) it's usually a result of fatigue and/or sleep loss. My opinion is that the moving from bed to bed is causing the sleep loss. He is old enough to be night weaned. When one of my children is having restless nights it's usually after a busy day with no or little nap. It's been my experience that when this happens all it takes is an early bedtime on a full tummy and let them fuss for a while. 15 minutes of fussing will usually be followed by a 11 hour stretch of sleep. I'm the mother of 9. I've had many, many sleepless nights and my heart goes out to you! I hope things improve!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20642800.post-8203187186072990012010-04-01T13:56:58.595-04:002010-04-01T13:56:58.595-04:00So many comments! I haven't read them all. So ...So many comments! I haven't read them all. So this may be repetitive. I have a nightcrawler too. He cosleeps with us, so I spend all night grabbing him as he crawls out into thin air off the side of the bed (remember Wily Coyote and Roadrunner? it's like that). ROUGH. I feel your pain. We call it "baby wrestling." You know, like alligator wrestling, except harder.<br /><br />I swaddled my baby tightly for sleep until six months or so, and I still break out the swaddle when he gets really restless. I use two big swaddle cloths - one to bind his arms to his sides, and one to wrap around him. And then I hold him down until he calms down. Because we did this so much when he was a smaller baby, he usually settles down pretty fast. He doesn't love it, mind you, but it works. I also don't feel bad just holding him down until he settles and nurses. It seems kind of awful at the time, but the kid is tired! He wants to sleep! <br /><br />(We don't do CIO methods, and we don't even have a crib, so this is what works for us.)<br /><br />Good luck! I agree with others - I think (pray/hope) that this is just a phase.Inder-ifichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09724667602427496583noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20642800.post-51673464726296831532010-04-01T13:28:45.398-04:002010-04-01T13:28:45.398-04:00If you ever want a quick tab on how many people ar...If you ever want a quick tab on how many people are reading your blog ... just ask for advice about sleep! :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20642800.post-7531118209897422892010-04-01T13:15:49.445-04:002010-04-01T13:15:49.445-04:00You have trained Dio to behave this way. By movin...You have trained Dio to behave this way. By moving him from room to room, allowing him to sleep in many places with different people, he has become accustomed to moving around in his sleep. By 1 year, it is normal and healthy to be night-weaned and sleeping for 10 to even 12 hour stretches. Likely he is sleep-deprived as well and this triggers his restlessness. <br /><br />You may not want to, but really CIO is what is very likely needed. <br /><br />What is worse--a mother that can't function because she is so tired, or allowing a toddler to learn how to sleep by crying for a short time? <br /><br />As a nurse and mother once told me (when warning about shaken baby syndrome) "Crying never killed a baby."Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20642800.post-26342822834630392792010-04-01T12:53:19.679-04:002010-04-01T12:53:19.679-04:00I agree with some of the other comments here. If y...I agree with some of the other comments here. If you do CIO and later find out there is an underlying medical problem, not only will your bond with your child suffer, but you will feel terrible for having let your child suffer through his hurt and pain. Seek out medical attention - from alternative as well as allopathic to get a holistic picture of what could be wrong.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20642800.post-32575863979652209682010-04-01T11:09:38.402-04:002010-04-01T11:09:38.402-04:00This might sound like a weird suggestion, but it w...This might sound like a weird suggestion, but it worked for me. After reading Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child I discovered that maybe I wasn't putting my son to sleep early enough. We moved his bedtime up an hour (from 8 to 7) and he slept better and longer stretches from the very first night. A friend of mine moved her sons bedtime from 7pm to 6pm and the same thing happened. He'd still get up at the same time in the morning, but he'd sleep an hour longer (total) and for longer stretches without waking to nurse. Just something you might try.Steffhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12837585390036498815noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20642800.post-51546199868727769902010-04-01T10:53:27.322-04:002010-04-01T10:53:27.322-04:00Hm, glad to know I'm not alone. Haha, my 11 mo...Hm, glad to know I'm not alone. Haha, my 11 month old is also night crawling and walking. The first couple of times I found it quite funny because he had such a dazed and sort of surprised look on his face like "What am I doing here?!/How did I get here?!". I considered letting him tire himself out and see if he'd go back to sleep, but he started crying; he usually hates not being able to see us in the dark, and also gets startled and cries if someone suddenly grabs him at night, even if it's just to put him back down, lol! I guess I'd be scared too.<br /><br />I'm a very light sleeper so the next time I heard him trying to get up, I'd tell him: "No, sweetie, it's time to sleep.", and I'd gently but him on his back, we co-sleep so I also pulled him close and held him in a hug and asked: "Do you want to nurse?" Sometimes he'll accept and go back to sleep nursing, other times he'll roll back and forth mumbling, but in less than 5 minutes he'd go back to sleep.<br /><br />I kept doing that and after a week and a half, he has practically stopped doing it, YAY! I'm so happy because I too was exhausted, and I'm not pro CIO.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20642800.post-36728700871306274902010-04-01T05:40:54.618-04:002010-04-01T05:40:54.618-04:00Maybe a gro-bag? I use one for my kids and it doe...Maybe a gro-bag? I use one for my kids and it doesn't stop them from standing, but they can't walk or crawl in it and it keeps them warm when they are prone to moving around. Both my girls were very active sleepers, but gro-bags worked for them at keeping them relatively contained in bed. We put a firm bumper on the cot as well when they started crawling so that when they would wriggle around they were only pushing against something soft. Good luck, I hope it improves soon.Angienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20642800.post-54039595377792787602010-04-01T05:25:03.939-04:002010-04-01T05:25:03.939-04:00Sorry, I wasn't able to read the previous comm...Sorry, I wasn't able to read the previous comments, but my son would wake up during the night just like that until we moved his bedtime later. <br />We ended up putting him to bed at 10:30pm, he slept until 8am, and took a 2 hour nap during the day. Once he turned 2, he stopped the naps and still sleeps a total of 11.5 hours, just all at night, 8:30pm-8am. <br />I've always been jealous to hear other children sleeping 14 hours a day, but once I got his magic number down (11.5) we've all been much happier.Sarah N.https://www.blogger.com/profile/07158858477276728081noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20642800.post-47159830815023907762010-04-01T01:56:26.813-04:002010-04-01T01:56:26.813-04:00I've read some but not all of the comments so ...I've read some but not all of the comments so I may be repeating what others have said. <br /><br />We never had a problem with the night wakings but ds hit a point where he had trouble falling asleep (around 1 year if I remember right) at night because he kept moving around & couldn't settle himself. After having done CIO with dd at 9 months to get her to go to sleep on her own, we had moved her to a crib next to our bed so that we would be able to co-sleep with ds when he arrived & she would not settle down on her own no matter what we tried. I was not willing to do it again after that experience because it was the beginning of many other challenges for us, she is very sensitive to feeling rejected when she is told "no" or if mom or dad are too busy to immediately take care of what she wants. We found that dh had more success getting ds to sleep than I did so it was usually his job. Basically we did what you have been doing, hold him in bed & let him cry until he settled enough to fall asleep. Because of our living situation we didn't have any option other than continuing to co-sleep. With our recent move & now having more space, dd(3 years) & ds(21 months) share a room. It took maybe 2 weeks to get him used to his own bed (its been about 3 months now)& going to sleep fairly easily on his own, sometimes he's asleep in 15 minutes & other times it takes an hour. When the kids go to bed we put a baby gate up in the doorway because as long as he can't get out of the room he will go to bed just fine but if he's free to wander then he'll be up until midnight, he will just keep going until he collapses.<br /><br />I have no idea what will work out for you but I have to say that even though CIO worked with dd in about 3 days, I wish now that we had never done it. I think it really can affect the bond between parent & child especially if you have only practiced gentle parenting with them. I would hate for you to choose that method only to regret it later. <br /><br />The suggestions to check for underlying medical problems are good. Hoping you find a solution soon & get the sleep you need.Mell Frazenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20642800.post-22841742073183706212010-04-01T00:15:28.629-04:002010-04-01T00:15:28.629-04:00I have 5 children ranging from 12 to almost 1. M...I have 5 children ranging from 12 to almost 1. My baby right now ( 11 months) is my first to sleep well at night. I have always had a hard time letting my babies cry. To me it was just easier to get up and nurse them for 5 or 10 minutes than to listen to them cry for much longer than that. Having said that, I have no problem with those who do let their babies cry; I just couldn't do it. <br /><br />The main thing that comes to mind is that I think Dio goes to bed REALLY early. My baby goes to sleep about 10pm. Do you think that if you kept him up a bit longer that his body would be tireder and naturally sleep for longer spurts? Just a thought...<br /><br />And know that there are so many of us out here that soooooo relate and sympathize with you! Hope things get better REALLY soon--like maybe tonight! :)Angelahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06441694443432075903noreply@blogger.com