It's not mine--it's a fellow blogger who is doing an informal survey on breastfeeding culture among LDS women. Not for any research project that I know of--just for personal interest.
I took the survey. Your friend raised some good points. I have always nursed anytime, anywhere, and have sometimes felt brazen for doing so when others in the church seem to prefer more "modesty."
It angers me that some people wish to ghettoize breastfeeding to special rooms, however nice they may be, and sometimes they are not so nice (windowless, small, stinky because they're where mothers change diapers also).
But I feel enough ownership in the church (and just about everywhere else that I go) that I have a "if you don't like it, you can leave" sort of attitude. Which may not be exactly Christ-like, but it gets me through.
Would be interested in checking out the survey instigator's blog if she is open to new visitors.
I am not LDS, but my mother was and so were many generations before her. I am proud to say that I come from an uninterrupted line of breastfeeding women. I know that the culture in the church was an enormous part of that, at least, thats what my grandma says :)
Add me in to the "anytime, anywhere" crowd. Hey, I just thought of a new catchphrase: "Nursing--it's not a big deal." Okay, I guess it's kind of lame, but that's how I approach it. It's just me feeding my baby, no need to make a huge production over it.
I never thought of breastfeeding rooms as ghettoizing the behavior, but I like that analogy.
I met her at the Trust Birth Conference. Actually I met a lot of people there who I know (or who know me) via the blogging world.
I am changing topics now, but read her Jan 3rd post about her son Devon's birth. One of my conference presentations was about intuition in birth, and her story illustrates the power of that form of knowledge. In her case, her intuition that something wasn't right led to a cesarean section that was very necessary, although the opposite of what she had wanted.
That story you recommend about her son Devon appeals to me -- somehow it is so powerful when people get/do the opposite of what they want, like the exception to the rule proving the rule or something.
Hey Rixa: It's Kneelingwoman aka. Michelle. Could you connect up with me at Kneelingwoman@wowway.com so we can talk about maybe getting you onboard to help me out in taking care of our "Joy" this June? I'd really love to create a nice group of women to really help her have the birth/postpartum she needs? Or call me: 248 547 6939. Thanks.. M. ( and anyone else who needs/wants to connect with me is welcome too; I'm not trying to be exclusive ).
I tried to take the survey but it says it's closed now? One thing I find hilarious about the mother's room in my ward is that women in there find it necessary to cover up while nursing. One day I was in there nursing my daughter and this woman had the audacity to say, "Well, I forgot my blanket today. Where is YOUR blanket?" and I told her that I don't breastfeed under a blanket. My daughter doesn't like it, I don't like it, and at the time she was too small to know how to latch on by herself (she was only 4-weeks-old) so I had to be able to see what I was doing. I also told her that I figure if you come into the room designated for nursing mothers you might see a boob or two. And if you bring your 5-year-old son in the room with you, well, then he might see a boob or two too, but there's nothing wrong with a 5-year-old seeing women feeding their babies. I think she was annoyed at me but whatever. Now that my daughter is older she can latch on just fine by herself but I don't see the point of covering up in the mother's lounge. And quite frankly, I'm not even good at nursing modestly. I have big boobs that are hard to cover so when I nurse it's no mystery to anyone what's going on and that's just the way it is.
Same here, it's closed. I really wanted to take it, too! I agree with what Jane said earlier on. It bothers me to no end that somehow, NIP is looked at as immodest by a lot of LDS women. I can't tell you how many times I've heard "I don't NIP/at church because I'm just too modest". Huh? So if I do NIP/at church - NOT in the mother's lounge - somehow that makes me immodest? I don't think so. Yeah, it's a bit of a soap box for me... I have friends who even feel uncomfortable nursing in front of their own children. I really don't understand that one, isn't it the most natural thing to do? Shouldn't our children see us nursing, so they will know it's how babies eat? It makes me so sad to see all of these new moms who pump or just use formula so they don't have to nurse their babies while they're at church. Anyway, I'm beginning to ramble. I've written a couple of posts on NIP on my own blog, it's something I feel strongly about. I just wish people didn't feel the need to imply those of us who choose to NIP (without using a blanket or hooter hider or something of the sort) are immodest...
BTW, I got the link to your blog in an email from a friend a few months ago, and have loved reading. I also realized that we have a mutual friend, Chalice. She used to watch my oldest son for me while I was still going to school. :o) Just thought I'd let you know, so you're not wondering who this weird person is, commenting on your blog. :p
Add me to those who tried but found the survey closed!
As a side note... I have only ever nursed in our building's "mother's room" TWO times in breastfeeding career (which lasted nearly 4 years between my two kids). Our "mother's room" was located (get ready to be shocked) in a little alcove INSIDE THE WOMEN'S BATHROOM!! Yes, inside the women's bathroom. It was a tiny, rocker recliner with a changing table within elbow's reach on the left and a disgusting garbage can on the right. As one can imagine, it smelled horrific in there. Nothing like trying to quietly nurse your baby in a room that echoes and nothing like listening to people laugh, carouse, and rid themselves of bodily wastes not five feet from you. Each flush of each power toilet was amplified and my poor baby would jump and cry each time. Besides, there was ONE chair available for the myriad of breastfeeding women in two wards. I was so disgusted I never went there again! It's been a couple of years since I was nursing. I think enough complaints were made that they finally set aside another space.
And like another commenter, I have large breasts and canNOT nurse my babies under a blanket. Just not happening! I, too am frustrated by the culture that exists within the church regarding breastfeeding. I'm frustrated that so many see it as an immodest activity. Isn't that what the purpose of breasts are?
Side note... my little boy (now 6 years old) knows ALL about BF because I'm a self-proclaimed lactivist. One day he saw my nephew drinking formula out of a bottle and said, "Oh mommy, how come he doesn't get to have breastmilk? That's so sad."
It is opened up again. I got 100 results in a few hours and I had to upgrade! I am so excited to see the results. I will certainly share them with everyone!
I just wanted to add my response to my last question on the survey...
I have breastfed in Sacrament meeting, but the next week I learned the error of my ways when my DH wanted me to just stay and nurse instead of escape to the mother’s room. I realized I much preferred to go nurse in quiet (or chatting with other moms) than try and stay discreet with my other kids pulling on me. But we have a pretty nice mothers room. 2 comfy chairs, no stinky diaper pail. We would often pull in another chair or two, because there were so many of us nursing and we would have so much fun, "listening" to church and talking.
I had a great Sunday School class, a Marriage and Parenting one, taught by a mom who Extended Breastfed her kids. I asked if it was ok if I BF during class. She was fine with it, so I did. I loved that class. I also didn’t feel bad if the baby was talking or making noise, very laid back. I keep telling my Bishop, I would be happy to teach that class, just so all the moms who are stuck in the hall with their "noisy" babies have a place to go. So far I haven't been called. Maybe next week I will just find a room and gather all them moms in there and have a class. :)
I have also BF during Relief Society, quite a lot. I actually once stood up and bore my testimony while BF… I didn’t go to the front of the room or anything, but still. It still cracks me up to think about that. My friends all shake there head with a smile and say, “Only you would do that.”
I of course am proud of it. They love me anyway... as they should. :)
I found this link interesting. I nurse my babies until they are about 18 months old. I rember walking in to a new ward and feeding my baby in the mothers loung and being told by two other mother that they could believe that I nurse a baby that can walk. My son was 13 months old we had just moved and it was the middle of winter adn he kept having ear infections. Why in the world would you want to ween a child under that kind of enviornment. I would be interested in seeing your results.
What's the survey for? Is it yours?
ReplyDeleteI know someone who could fill it out, but she might ask questions first!
It's not mine--it's a fellow blogger who is doing an informal survey on breastfeeding culture among LDS women. Not for any research project that I know of--just for personal interest.
ReplyDeleteI took the survey. Your friend raised some good points. I have always nursed anytime, anywhere, and have sometimes felt brazen for doing so when others in the church seem to prefer more "modesty."
ReplyDeleteIt angers me that some people wish to ghettoize breastfeeding to special rooms, however nice they may be, and sometimes they are not so nice (windowless, small, stinky because they're where mothers change diapers also).
But I feel enough ownership in the church (and just about everywhere else that I go) that I have a "if you don't like it, you can leave" sort of attitude. Which may not be exactly Christ-like, but it gets me through.
Would be interested in checking out the survey instigator's blog if she is open to new visitors.
I am not LDS, but my mother was and so were many generations before her. I am proud to say that I come from an uninterrupted line of breastfeeding women. I know that the culture in the church was an enormous part of that, at least, thats what my grandma says :)
ReplyDeleteAdd me in to the "anytime, anywhere" crowd. Hey, I just thought of a new catchphrase: "Nursing--it's not a big deal." Okay, I guess it's kind of lame, but that's how I approach it. It's just me feeding my baby, no need to make a huge production over it.
ReplyDeleteI never thought of breastfeeding rooms as ghettoizing the behavior, but I like that analogy.
Her blog is:
ReplyDeletehttp://enjoybirth.wordpress.com/
I met her at the Trust Birth Conference. Actually I met a lot of people there who I know (or who know me) via the blogging world.
I am changing topics now, but read her Jan 3rd post about her son Devon's birth. One of my conference presentations was about intuition in birth, and her story illustrates the power of that form of knowledge. In her case, her intuition that something wasn't right led to a cesarean section that was very necessary, although the opposite of what she had wanted.
Oh, I just saw her guest post on MMW.
ReplyDeleteThat story you recommend about her son Devon appeals to me -- somehow it is so powerful when people get/do the opposite of what they want, like the exception to the rule proving the rule or something.
Hey Rixa: It's Kneelingwoman aka. Michelle. Could you connect up with me at Kneelingwoman@wowway.com so we can talk about maybe getting you onboard to help me out in taking care of our "Joy" this June? I'd really love to create a nice group of women to really help her have the birth/postpartum she needs? Or call me: 248 547 6939. Thanks.. M. ( and anyone else who needs/wants to connect with me is welcome too; I'm not trying to be exclusive ).
ReplyDeleteAs soon as I have this baby, I'll breastfeed and fill out the survey (if it's still there- it should be as I'm at 42 weeks- can't be long now).
ReplyDeleteI tried to take the survey, and it says that it is closed- any ideas?
ReplyDeleteI, too, tried to take it, but it's still closed. Darn. I thought it would be interesting to participate.
ReplyDeleteI tried to take the survey but it says it's closed now? One thing I find hilarious about the mother's room in my ward is that women in there find it necessary to cover up while nursing. One day I was in there nursing my daughter and this woman had the audacity to say, "Well, I forgot my blanket today. Where is YOUR blanket?" and I told her that I don't breastfeed under a blanket. My daughter doesn't like it, I don't like it, and at the time she was too small to know how to latch on by herself (she was only 4-weeks-old) so I had to be able to see what I was doing. I also told her that I figure if you come into the room designated for nursing mothers you might see a boob or two. And if you bring your 5-year-old son in the room with you, well, then he might see a boob or two too, but there's nothing wrong with a 5-year-old seeing women feeding their babies. I think she was annoyed at me but whatever. Now that my daughter is older she can latch on just fine by herself but I don't see the point of covering up in the mother's lounge. And quite frankly, I'm not even good at nursing modestly. I have big boobs that are hard to cover so when I nurse it's no mystery to anyone what's going on and that's just the way it is.
ReplyDeleteSame here, it's closed. I really wanted to take it, too! I agree with what Jane said earlier on. It bothers me to no end that somehow, NIP is looked at as immodest by a lot of LDS women. I can't tell you how many times I've heard "I don't NIP/at church because I'm just too modest". Huh? So if I do NIP/at church - NOT in the mother's lounge - somehow that makes me immodest? I don't think so. Yeah, it's a bit of a soap box for me... I have friends who even feel uncomfortable nursing in front of their own children. I really don't understand that one, isn't it the most natural thing to do? Shouldn't our children see us nursing, so they will know it's how babies eat? It makes me so sad to see all of these new moms who pump or just use formula so they don't have to nurse their babies while they're at church. Anyway, I'm beginning to ramble. I've written a couple of posts on NIP on my own blog, it's something I feel strongly about. I just wish people didn't feel the need to imply those of us who choose to NIP (without using a blanket or hooter hider or something of the sort) are immodest...
ReplyDeleteBTW, I got the link to your blog in an email from a friend a few months ago, and have loved reading. I also realized that we have a mutual friend, Chalice. She used to watch my oldest son for me while I was still going to school. :o) Just thought I'd let you know, so you're not wondering who this weird person is, commenting on your blog. :p
Yeah, I never did understand using a cover in the mother's lounge! (Or using a cover in general, LOL).
ReplyDeleteI emailed the person who made the survey and asked her if she'd open it up again.
And hi Doreen! Now I need to go read your blog posts...
Add me to those who tried but found the survey closed!
ReplyDeleteAs a side note... I have only ever nursed in our building's "mother's room" TWO times in breastfeeding career (which lasted nearly 4 years between my two kids). Our "mother's room" was located (get ready to be shocked) in a little alcove INSIDE THE WOMEN'S BATHROOM!! Yes, inside the women's bathroom. It was a tiny, rocker recliner with a changing table within elbow's reach on the left and a disgusting garbage can on the right. As one can imagine, it smelled horrific in there. Nothing like trying to quietly nurse your baby in a room that echoes and nothing like listening to people laugh, carouse, and rid themselves of bodily wastes not five feet from you. Each flush of each power toilet was amplified and my poor baby would jump and cry each time. Besides, there was ONE chair available for the myriad of breastfeeding women in two wards. I was so disgusted I never went there again! It's been a couple of years since I was nursing. I think enough complaints were made that they finally set aside another space.
And like another commenter, I have large breasts and canNOT nurse my babies under a blanket. Just not happening! I, too am frustrated by the culture that exists within the church regarding breastfeeding. I'm frustrated that so many see it as an immodest activity. Isn't that what the purpose of breasts are?
Side note... my little boy (now 6 years old) knows ALL about BF because I'm a self-proclaimed lactivist. One day he saw my nephew drinking formula out of a bottle and said, "Oh mommy, how come he doesn't get to have breastmilk? That's so sad."
It is opened up again. I got 100 results in a few hours and I had to upgrade! I am so excited to see the results. I will certainly share them with everyone!
ReplyDeleteThanks!
I just wanted to add my response to my last question on the survey...
ReplyDeleteI have breastfed in Sacrament meeting, but the next week I learned the error of my ways when my DH wanted me to just stay and nurse instead of escape to the mother’s room. I realized I much preferred to go nurse in quiet (or chatting with other moms) than try and stay discreet with my other kids pulling on me. But we have a pretty nice mothers room. 2 comfy chairs, no stinky diaper pail. We would often pull in another chair or two, because there were so many of us nursing and we would have so much fun, "listening" to church and talking.
I had a great Sunday School class, a Marriage and Parenting one, taught by a mom who Extended Breastfed her kids. I asked if it was ok if I BF during class. She was fine with it, so I did. I loved that class. I also didn’t feel bad if the baby was talking or making noise, very laid back. I keep telling my Bishop, I would be happy to teach that class, just so all the moms who are stuck in the hall with their "noisy" babies have a place to go. So far I haven't been called. Maybe next week I will just find a room and gather all them moms in there and have a class. :)
I have also BF during Relief Society, quite a lot. I actually once stood up and bore my testimony while BF… I didn’t go to the front of the room or anything, but still. It still cracks me up to think about that. My friends all shake there head with a smile and say, “Only you would do that.”
I of course am proud of it. They love me anyway... as they should. :)
i read that completely WRONG. here is the manner my brain read it...
ReplyDelete"If and of you are (on) LSD.....and breastfeeding..." I just about died until I re-read it.
Tasha, that is hilarious!
ReplyDeleteI found this link interesting. I nurse my babies until they are about 18 months old. I rember walking in to a new ward and feeding my baby in the mothers loung and being told by two other mother that they could believe that I nurse a baby that can walk. My son was 13 months old we had just moved and it was the middle of winter adn he kept having ear infections. Why in the world would you want to ween a child under that kind of enviornment. I would be interested in seeing your results.
ReplyDelete