On the other side of the room, beyond the pediatricians, I could see the tears in my wife’s eyes as she watched her only child being taken away before she had a chance to even see or touch it. In the doctor’s arms I saw Lauren’s mouth making sucking movements. I felt the irreplaceable seconds ticking away and could hesitate no longer. I stepped forward and extracted her from his arms. “You get the papers, and I’m taking my child.”
British midwife Mary Cronk recently reminisced about "the first time that the iron entered my soul." Her first baby, born via forceps, was about to be put in the nursery for a standard 48-hour stay. Mary put her foot down and demanded that her baby remain with her:
40 odd years on I can still feel the emotions I had then. I ordered that my baby be brought to me immediately and informed them that I was my baby’s legal guardian and if he was not brought to me instantly, my husband would be instructing solicitors and bringing an action against them for kidnapping. I was so angry and hysterical, I suppose it was because I could not physically go to my baby that I was so upset. He was brought to me and I ordered that he be put alongside me. They obeyed me. But I was visited by Matron who reprimanded me as if I was a pupil midwife again. I repeated myself that I would observe my own baby and he was not removed from me again. I think that was the first time that the iron entered my soul and I realized that parents had rights.
Yay Rixa, thanks SO much for posting this:) My sis had her baby taken from her for 2 hours before she could even hold him. She just found out she was pregnant again, and is terrified of going back to the hospital (small town, only one choice). She loved her OB, but it was the "hospital policy" junk. I thought of the football story, and had just come over to wade through all the posts to look for it. God answered my prayer though, and another great story to pass on to her as well!
ReplyDelete48 hours?!? Oh my heavens. :( How long ago was this? That makes the 4 hours between Jameson's birth and our actual meeting seem like nothnig. I think I would die!
ReplyDeleteCrazy. I used to work in a hospital that had a "general care nursery" where all the babies went to unless the mom requested otherwise. I am so thankful that where I work now does not have such a nursery. ALL babies room-in with the family. We occasional get a mom who complains and wants the baby to sleep in the nursery all night. But overall, all babies stay with the mom unless the babies need special care. No need for "iron in the soul."
ReplyDelete25 years ago, my mom chose to go to a hospital 2 hrs from home to give birth to my younger sister instead of the hospital near by. She did so because it was the only hospital that "allowed" the baby to room in.
ReplyDeleteIt's disgusting that parents still have to fight for the right to keep their baby with them in the hospital.
Wow, what a powerful sentiment. I have tried repeatedly to explain why dh and I are so determined to avoid hospital birth without a damn good reason: this pretty much sums it up. Iron in my soul. I love my children, and yes MYSELF, too much to allow them to be in harms way. Period.
ReplyDeleteI'm very glad you posted this. Babies should be with mothers for a whole host of reasons. I can't imagine moms being okay with it any other way.
ReplyDeleteOn a somewhat unrelated, but somewhat related note: I heard on NPR recently that there are approximately 25 (TWENTY-FIVE) babies switched at birth each year. Sure, that's a small percentage in regards to how many babies are born... but... ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I don't think I would birth at a hospital, but if I do, my baby isn't leaving my site. Aaack!
A woman came to me for a homebirth for her first baby. She was an executive secretary and seemed an unlikely homebirth candidate. When I asked her why she wanted a homebirth she said "I was at my nephew's birth and the treatment was terrible". I steeled myself to hear a horrible story. Turned out the birth was incredibly good for a hosp story. The 2 complaints she had were 1. they wouldn't let her sister squat when she wanted to 2. the nurse came in an hour after the baby was born and said "I have to take him to the nursery". They thought something important was going to happen there so they handed him over. A while later, she went out to get some juice and saw the same nurse with the nephew still in her arms filing some papers. THAT put the iron in her soul and she had a great birth---her sister caught the baby. Gloria Lemay
ReplyDeleteSo right! I remember the first time "iron entered my soul"...on our first (and only) pediatrician's visit. When it comes to our children...every mother experiences this at some point.
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