Birth Relaxation Kit: a complete birth hypnosis program

On last month's post about my experiences using birth hypnosis, I mentioned that I used the Birth Relaxation Kit during Ivy's pregnancy and birth. The company's founders, a husband-wife team of certified hypnotherapists, generously donated the program for me to test out and review.

Dr. Mavi Gupta, a board-certified physician and hypnotherapist, created the Birth Relaxation Kit along with her husband Jeremy Dyen, a musician and hypnotherapist. They combined their medical, musical, and hypnosis training to create an effective, affordable birth hypnosis program.

When Mavi was pregnant with her first baby, she had originally planned a hospital birth with an epidural. However, exposure to birth hynposis helped her and Jeremy look into other options, and they ultimately decided to have a home birth with a midwife. She writes:

On February 7th, in the middle of winter, our daughter Anjali was born at home with our midwives and doula in attendance. The birth of our daughter turned out to be a beautiful, blissful and amazing experience.  It was the most intense experience of my life, yet I did not experience pain. I birthed Anjali on the day I envisioned and labored at the time I had envisioned as well, in the peacefulness and privacy of my own home. We felt truly blessed.

After the birth, my husband Jeremy and I became inspired to train in hypnosis so that we could develop our own hypnobirthing methods and empower women who want to have a natural birth process without fear.  We each became certified in hypnosis, accredited by the International Certification Board Of Clinical Hypnotherapy (ICBCH).  Our continued work in this field combined with the feedback we have received over the years help us continually refine our program.

Unlike most other hypnobirthing programs, we offer extensive experience in medicine and music in addition to hypnotherapy. I am a board certified physician with extensive pain training and Jeremy has over 20 years experience composing music for meditation and yoga. We have blended this experience along with our personal experience using these techniques to bring you a quality program that will change your life.

The Birth Relaxation Kit is a complete birth hypnosis program and comes in three different packages: Basic ($49), Plus ($79), and Deluxe ($499).

The Basic package has everything you need to learn and practice hypnosis techniques for your labor and birth.

If you'd like personalized one-on-one support, you can order the Deluxe package ($499). It includes all the materials from the Plus package, as well as a personalized hypnosis mp3, 2 phone consultations, and 2 phone or Skype hypnosis sessions.

I reviewed the Plus package while it was in the final stages of development, so I received everything except the sleep and postpartum mp3s.

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I highly recommend the Birth Relaxation Kit. Mavi narrated all of the hypnosis tracks, and her voice was soothing and calming. (Sometimes the narrator of the Hypnobabies program got on my nerves, so I was really picky when testing out the BRK).

Jeremy composed all of the music for the BRK. I'm a trained musician, and I cannot focus on anything else if the background music is too loud. Fortunately, the Birth Relaxation Kit's music was at the perfect volume: audible but never dominant or distracting. I sensed rather than heard the music when Mavi was speaking. Exactly how it should be.

I found the Birth Relaxation Kit incredibly relaxing during pregnancy. I've used hypnosis for all my labors during the early stages. However, the main value of hypnosis, for me, came in the daily deep relaxation during the final months of pregnancy. Hypnosis pulled me through the normal worries of pregnancy, terrible bouts of sleeplessness, and anxiety over various concerns (Dio's breech presentation, possible GD during Inga's pregnancy, etc.).

If you are looking for an affordable alternative to hypnosis classes or self-study programs such as Hypnobabies, the Birth Relaxation Kit is exactly what you need. 

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I've been reflecting on Ivy's birth. Every new detail I remember leads me to suspect that she was posterior the entire labor and for most of pushing. I never felt the amazing, pleasurable high between contractions that I was used to experiencing from my three previous labors. I could tell that the endorphins and other hormones were still there, but they manifested as dizziness rather than as "la-la-ahhhhhh" goodness. I never felt a complete break between contractions. The intensity and pain lessened, but never faded away entirely. I also had constant rectal pressure for most of my labor.

Ivy's labor was definitely my most challenging, although not the longest or the shortest. I wonder how much more intense the birth might have been, had I not done daily hypnosis sessions with the Birth Relaxation Kit.

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To end the review, I want to include some of my correspondence with Jeremy. We were discussing our motivations for using hypnosis. I mentioned that my main goal wasn't to avoid pain; it was to embrace every sensation without judgment. He responded:

That you touch on the fact that your goal was not to avoid pain or have a "comfortable" birth, and that those goals are contrived, is so honest....I love that you want to "let birth be what it will be" and "to accept every sensation without judgment, fear or anxiety." I think undoing the fear and anxiety are the most important elements of our program (and, if I may speak for Madhavi, my wife, her birth experience). But to say you "accept every sensation without judgment, fear or anxiety," is so eloquent and speaks directly to birthing itself, not just the fear and anxiety that is felt during pregnancy.

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The Birth Relaxation Kit is available as an instant download here.

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My experiences with birth hypnosis

Birth hypnosis, HypnoBirthing, Hypnobabies, Hypbirth, the Birth Relaxation Kit...

If you're at all part of the birth world, you've probably heard of one or more of these terms. I've had four pregnancies, four labors, and four babies all using some kind of hypnosis.

Basic idea of hypnosis for childbirth (in my words): the mind is extremely powerful and malleable. Through deep relaxation, conscious breathing, and visualization, you can reprogram yourself to respond positively to the sensations of labor.

How and when I listened to the hypnosis recordings:

For my first baby, I listened to the two hypnosis tracks provided with Marie Mongan's  Hypnobirthing book. I listened to one track every day for the last two months of pregnancy. I didn't have an mp3 player at the time, so I listened on my stereo system. I turned the track on early in my labor when I started having contractions. Once I was up and moving around the house, I turned it off.

For babies #2 and #3, I used the Hypnobabies Self-Study Program. You're supposed to listen to one of the hypnosis tracks, along with the birth affirmations track, daily starting at around 30 weeks. I ended up skipping the affirmations most days. I was busy enough with little children that I didn't have time for two sessions. I put the tracks on my mp3 player when I lay down in bed at night and usually "slept" through most of them, waking up at the end of the track. I listened for a few hours early on in both labors. But once things really started cooking, I was no longer interested. Well, more like I was too occupied with labor to focus on anything else!

For baby #4, I used the Birth Relaxation Kit, a complete birth hypnosis program. Like with my last two babies, I listened at night when going to bed. I listened a bit during early labor, but not once the work started in earnest.

I'd consider using hypnosis in labor a small added bonus. For me, the real value of hypnosis came during pregnancy. The daily deep relaxation was priceless, especially when I was dealing with severe sleep issues and the typical worries of pregnancy (will the baby be okay? what if _____ happens?). 

Does birth hypnosis work?

I'd answer with a qualified yes. Some hypnosis programs emphasize having a comfortable, pain-free birth. I was always a bit hesitant with those promises. I totally believe that some women do have pain-free, comfortable births through hypnosis. But I was also wary of trying to force my experience into a box (and then being disappointed when it didn't fit).

Rather than aiming for being pain-free or even comfortable, I wanted to embrace all the sensations of labor without judgement, to work through the process without fear, to feel everything and to fight nothing.

I don't know why some poeple can do hypnosis programs and feel no pain ("I only felt pressure," they often say, "really intense pressure but no pain"). Or why others like me feel all the sensations--good and bad, pain and pleasure, pressure and power. I theorize that it depends on where the hypnosis affects the nervous system.

Some women truly can "anesthetize" themselves and eliminate feelings of pain entirely. (I still wonder how they can do it, honestly, since there is no way I can imagine feeling the sensations of labor without pain being one of them.) But for them, hypnosis works here to filter, or perhaps the better word is "alter," the sensations of labor so that they are not experienced as pain or discomfort once they reach the brain. Like this:

For me, hypnosis doesn't control the sensations going into the brain. I feel and experience everything. The hypnosis kicks in at the other end, where the brain reacts and sends out signals. The hypnosis helps me experience labor without fighting or struggling against it. So instead of controlling what I feel, hypnosis helps me control how I react and interpret what I'm feeling. Like this:

Mothers using birth hypnosis are often, but not always, outwardly calm. I tend to remain quiet and focused during active labor, although I'm more vocal when I'm pushing. I don't think you need to act calm or quiet to be effectively hypnotized. Remember that hypnosis is really just very deep relaxation and meditation.You can be up, moving, and talking and still be in a hypnotic state.

Stay tuned for my thoughts on the Birth Relaxation Kit...

In the meantime, I want to hear about your experiences using birth hypnosis. Please share!
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Sour grapes?

Another article about Gisele Bundchen's birth gives a few more details. From Supermodel Gisele Bundchen claims son Benjamin's birth 'didn't hurt in the slightest':

Four months after giving birth to son Benjamin, she has opened up about the eight-hour birth - saying it 'didn't hurt in the slightest'. Gisele gave birth in her bathtub at home in Boston with no pain relief with her mother, sports star husband Tom Brady and a midwife by her side.

"My delivery was in a bath tub, in water," said the 29-year-old. "I wanted to have a home birth. I wanted to be very aware and present during the birth...I didn't want to be drugged up. So I did a lot of preparation, I did yoga and meditation, so I managed to have a very tranquil birth at home."

Speaking to Brazilian TV channel Fantastico, she said: "It didn't hurt in the slightest. The whole time my mind was focused in each contraction on the thought 'my baby is closer to coming out.' It wasn’t like 'this is so painful.' So I transformed that intense feeling into a hope of seeing him."

Bundchen says her son didn't cry after being born and rested in her lap for a long time. "It's wonderful," she said. "Never in my life I thought I could love like this. You hear people talking about it, but you don't know until it happens to you. I couldn't be happier."

Poor Gisele. She had a lovely birth, one that she planned and prepared carefully for--and she gets ripped apart for talking about it. Commenters to this article call her a liar, an android, a robot. They call her brainless and dumb, or deceitful, or selfish and shallow, or overly competitive. All because giving birth was not a painful experience for her. Sour grapes, anyone?

Now I love my birth experiences. Pain was definitely a part of the experience, although not the dominant or defining aspect. I've written earlier about how I view pain and what giving birth feels like (great stuff in the comments sections, too!). I don't at all begrudge Gisele her painless birth, nor do I doubt that she is telling the truth. I know several women who have had births where pain really wasn't present at all (I'm not talking about painless births due to early epidurals--but unmedicated or "natural" births). Often they were using some form of hypnosis, such as Hypnobirthing or Hypnobabies. Several gave birth in out-of-hospital settings, but not all. The fact that I experienced moments of pain as part of giving birth doesn't make me doubt that Gisele didn't, nor does her experience evoke feelings of hostility, defensiveness, or anger in me.

Gisele's description of focusing the power and intensity of birth--"I transformed that intense feeling into a hope of seeing him," she remarked--reminds me of the video Birth Day. Naoli Vinaver Lopez, herself a midwife and mother of three, transformed the sensation of pain into one of "love bursting out of my womb" by focusing on her husband as she labored. I also recall an essay by Ingrid Bauer about "Birth as sheer pleasure" (from Midwifery Today Issue 68). Some excerpts:

With this second birth, I went into active labour very suddenly and without warning just after 3:00 a.m. I was taken aback by the intensity of the contractions. For some bizarre reason (fear!), I decided to time the contractions even though I hadn’t planned that and had no idea what the timing actually meant! They were five minutes, five minutes, then three minutes, three minutes, then two minutes, two minutes, progressing rapidly.

I didn’t realise how fast things were going and sank into fear mode. If these first six contractions were already this intense, how would I ever stand 10 more hours? After all I was an older mom, hadn’t had a baby in 12 years, and this was going to be hard! Immediately, my abdomen was gripped with incredible pain. I couldn’t stand straight. I bent over, grasped the sink and rolled and rocked and moaned with every contraction. Despite the intense pain, I was “coping” well.

But all of a sudden, I remembered. I realised that even as I was rocking and moaning with the contractions, part of me was actively resisting and holding back against the powerful life energy that was coursing through me. I was still split, hadn’t fully embraced or committed to that energy, and was being painfully pulled between the two choices. It became crystal clear to me in that moment that the only thing that was causing pain was not the strength of the birthing energy, but my fear and resistance to it. The more I resisted, the more it hurt.

I decided to completely move into that energy, as part of it, rather than against it or bravely alongside it. I had a good look at the next contraction. The words, “This is only sensation” came very clearly, out of nowhere, into my awareness. I decided I wanted to feel this sensation, not resist it, no matter what it was, no matter what it felt like. I wanted to be and feel alive, no matter what that might mean! I consciously opened my arms, heart, sex and body to it. I was willing to experience the very centre of it, now, in this very moment. And wow!

Forget about pain-free! In that moment, literally within seconds, the overwhelming pain was transformed into the most intense orgasmic pleasure. And I mean intense. Those contractions were powerful. Contractions came one upon the other with rarely more than 5-10 seconds between, and often less (not like my first birth where I slept between contractions!). I felt sometimes close to the edge of being overwhelmed and falling back into fear (have you ever been so happy that you’re afraid you can’t take any more and it’s going to end? It’s a bit like being at that edge).

But then I opened my mouth to sing and didn’t stop. I just melted right into that life force, flowing like an open channel through my body, out my mouth, out my sex, out my heart. I wish I had a tape recording because apparently I sang some incredibly beautiful melodies (“not like any birthing sounds I’ve ever heard,” said my good friend, who caught the last bit and has been to several home/unassisted births). I don’t remember what it sounded like (except one note); I just remember the feeling of the energy.

I felt everything within my body: the cervix opening, the baby moving down, the bones cracking apart slightly, his head emerging. No pain, no burning, just oh-so luscious, sexy, sensual, wet, alive, moving fullness. There was absolutely no pushing at all. I just kept breathing and singing and wasn’t aware of any contracting or bearing down in my uterus, just smooth movement. Just before he emerged, I instinctively arched way up and then lay forward again (I was on hands and knees), as it felt almost like he was moving “around a corner.”

Exactly two hours and 10 minutes after the very first twinge, he came out to the waist into his papa’s and my hands and paused there between contractions, opened his eyes, looked around and sang “Oh” on the exact same note I was toning. Then he whooshed out on the next contraction and I took him in my arms.

That birth changed so many things in me, showed me the true beauty and pleasure of Nature and birth, cracked my heart wide open. I can hardly read a single book on birth now — even the most progressive, alternative natural birth kind — and not think that somehow, something utterly vital is missing. Something nobody ever told me about. So much emphasis is on how to handle the physical pain. Nobody ever prepared me to simply fully embrace the sheer sensual pleasure of birth.

My parting thoughts? "It is an unfortunate part of human nature to envy those who climb above us and to pull them down literally or verbally or at least within our own critical and judgmental minds," Richard and Linda Eyre commented in an essay about motivating children through praise and positive reinforcement. Let's move beyond our impulse to deny other women's experiences when they are different from our own. Let's stop tearing each other down and instead celebrate those moments of intense joy and fulfillment.

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Jessica Alba & hypnobirthing

Seems like a lot of celebrities are having C-sections these days, so it's refreshing to read about those doing something a bit different. Crunchy Domestic Goddess just posted some comments from Jessica Alba on her recent labor and birth. (You have to scroll down really far to see the post).

A few quotes from the post:

Jessica told OK! magazine:

“I didn’t scream,” Jessica tells OK! in an exclusive interview and photoshoot. “It was really Zen.” And Cash could only marvel at his wife’s quiet strength when she gave birth. “She didn’t make a sound,” he says. “It was amazing.” “The labor was more like meditation,” she says. “I did yoga breathing. I was focused.”

While Jessica was pregnant, she told FitPregnancy about her birth plan:

I want to spend as much of my labor as possible at home, and I’m taking a HypnoBirthing class. It’s a relaxation technique that allows you to avoid going into panic mode and tightening up. If you are calm and relaxed, your body will just do what it has to do.

For those of you who have done hypnobirthing (including Hypbirth, Hypnobabies, and Hypnobirthing, etc.) or your own forms of visualization and meditation, what were your experiences like? My labor was very serene and meditative, except for the pushing stage. That I would describe more as wild and crazy and intense.

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