Ivy's nursing party

Every time one of our children decides they are done nursing, we have a nursing party. We make or buy a cake, we nurse one last time, and then we eat the cake!

Zari was 3 1/2 and chose a strawberry & whipped cream patisserie (we were in France at the time).

Dio was also close to 3 1/2 and wanted a Lightning McQueen cake. His wasn't fancy, but he loved it.

Inga was totally done right at 2 years. Not at all interested in nursing even after I had Ivy and was producing tons of milk. I made her a chocolate cake with blackberry frosting.

Ivy has nursed the longest of everyone, several months past her 5th birthday, probably because I didn't have any other babies :) Finally she decided that she was ready for her nursing party.

So yesterday, Ivy dressed up in one of her favorite outfits, brushed her hair, and placed her barrettes in rainbow order. We walked to one of my very favorite patisserie shops, Lac. We each chose our favorite patisserie. She walked home oh-so-carefully carrying the fancy box tied up with a ribbon. We nursed one last time--the last time in my entire life! I'm going to cry! Then we ate our "nursing cakes."

I've been breastfeeding for around 11 1/2 years straight, ever since Zari was born. I'm sad and happy at ending this part of my life.

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Inga's weaning party

With both Zari and Dio, we celebrated the end of their nursing years with a "nursing cake." Zari, at 3 1/2, chose a strawberry cake from a patisserie (we were spending the summer in Nice, France). Dio, just over 3, wanted a Lightning McQueen cake.

Inga weaned herself relatively early at just over 2 years. Before Ivy was born, she wasn't nursing much, maybe 10-15 seconds at naps and bedtime. Her latch had become really lazy. I wondered if she would remember how to nurse once my milk came in after Ivy was born. After the birth, Eric put Inga down for naps and bed, so we didn't even get to try.

After a few weeks, I started putting her down for naps, and she asked to nurse. She put the nipple in her mouth, made a few half-hearted sucks, then just sat there. She had forgotten how. When my milk let down, she stopped sucking, like "what on earth is going on here?"

She nursed maybe a few other times--if you can even call it that. She never really asked, and I didn't offer. I don't know exactly the last time she nursed...maybe 2 months ago?

So it was time to make her a nursing cake. We baked the cake on Sunday, frosted it on Tuesday, and finally ate it tonight. Inga has been talking about it all week: "My eat nursing cake. Nursing cake for me."

Zari's nursing cake

Dio's nursing cake

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Dio's weaning party

When Zari finished nursing at 3 1/2, we threw her a "nursing party" to celebrate. Nursing parties are now a family tradition, and Dio has been waiting his turn for the past several weeks. Finally we got around to making a cake.

At his request, he wanted a "race car cake." Then he added, "a Lightning McQueen cake!" (He spent a few weeks this summer with a Cars-obsessed cousin.) I wasn't about to go overboard and try this. Instead we made a decent replica with M&Ms.

I love you, Dio, and I'm so proud of you!

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French breastfeeding blog

I came across a lovely French breastfeeding blog the other day, via my Stat Counter. It's called MamaNANA Blog: Pour allaiter en beauté. I came to the blog via the post Je sèvre ou pas ("Should I wean or not?"), in which the author and commenters discuss whether/how/when to wean and ideas for weaning celebrations. For all you French speakers, take a minute to look through the blog--I think you'll love it!

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Weaning party

A few weeks ago, Zari looked up from eating breakfast and said, "I'm think I'm done nursing."

"Whenever you're ready," I told her.

"Well, I think I'm all done, though," she said.

She didn't ask to nurse for a week. I think she would have gone longer, but then we traveled to France. With all of the upheavals--new location, new time, new language--she has nursed a few times in the past two weeks.

Zari's latch had been getting very lazy even before her sudden announcement that she was done. But after her week-long hiatus, I realized that she had literally forgotten how to nurse. She would roll my nipple around in her mouth, give a few half-hearted sucks, and then stop.

It was time to wean.

I told Zari that we would have a "nursing party," since she was forgetting how to nurse. When she was ready, she could pick any cake she wanted from a patisserie. We would have a party, eat the cake, and then she would be all done nursing.

Nursing parties--more commonly called weaning parties--date back thousands of years. For example, Abraham threw a big party when his son Isaac weaned: "And the child grew, and was weaned: and Abraham made a great feast the same day that Isaac was weaned." (Genesis 21:8). They're still done today, too; see examples of modern-day weaning parties in Australia and the States.

Several times this week, Zari asked about going to the patisserie. This evening, while I was cooking a potato & leek soup, Eric and Zari went on a walk to buy her "nursing cake."

After dinner, we brought the cake out. I told her the story of when she was born and when she first nursed. We took pictures. I hugged her and told her how much I loved her. I told her how glad I was that I was able to nurse her for a long time.

And then we ate cake. It was good.

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More milestones

Dio's two top teeth are coming in. We've noticed an increase in crankiness over the past few days, while the teeth are just cutting through the skin. It's the top teeth that make nursing less comfortable for me. One of those markers that infancy is coming to an end.

Dio is almost crawling (and how long have we been saying that?). Now he'll get up into a crawling position,  rock back and forth, then plop back down on his stomach. Pretty soon he'll figure out the forward movement part and he'll be off! He likes to stand and cruise the furniture and walk around holding our hands, so I don't think he'll crawl for long. Zari was exactly the same way: crawled at 8 months and walked at 10.

Zari is now nursing once every other day or so. She'd happily nurse a lot more if I offered, but I don't. Eric has just started putting her to bed every other night. His original plan was to put her to bed every night but it kind of devolved into us trading off every othernight. I still let Zari nurse as part of our bedtime routine. She only nurses for a minute or so before I take her off. I count to 10 to signal it's time to stop. Eric has been pushing me to wean her. He's feeling that she's getting too old to nurse and that she's overly attached to me (and that the nursing is the root of the attachment). I think that the attachment is more rooted in the fact that I'm the primary caregiver during the day. To me, the nursing is less the cause of the attachment than just a manifestation of it. Weaning just seems so final and abrupt. I know that Zari would be very upset if I told her she was done nursing. On the other hand, she doesn't nurse all that much anyway. I limit how long she can nurse, because if I didn't, she'd just keep going for who knows how long, and it's not that comfortable with a mouth full of teeth and a lazy toddler latch. I fully admit that both Zari and I are still emotionally attached to nursing. For me, it's the last part of what used to be an inseparable physical relationship. So the thought of weaning is a big deal and I don't know if I'm emotionally ready for it yet. I don't know if I'm ready to let go yet.

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