Zari is 5!

Zari turned 5 on Halloween and we were too busy doing Halloween-y things to write about it. Like carving birthing pumpkins and dressing up as Zorro (Eric), a "fancy lady from a long time ago" (me), a jellyfish (Zari), a dragon (Dio), and a "mini me" (Inga in a black cape that matched Eric's).

We also didn't take any pictures of her. Oops!

But I did take several pictures of her cake. Zari requested an "earth cake." Can do. Using the same recipe from Inga's Blessingway cake, I dyed the batter blue and green to match the frosting. 

North America turned out pretty well.

Europe, Africa, and Asia were a bit iffy.

After I did those continents, I realized that I left no room for Antarctica and the Arctic. Blame it on global warming.

We had lots of batter left over, so we made a few dozen cupcakes decorated with Swedish Fish. Why Swedish Fish? I don't know...it seemed appropriate.

We also had a volcano-shaped piece of cake trimming. I dyed applesauce red to make lava. Only the final effect was meatloaf with ketchup, not a volcano spewing molten lava. It's still sitting in the fridge.

We had family visiting over the weekend: my mom, my two younger sisters and their kids. 6 adults + 8 children in one house = 1,352,759 decibels. I needed to decompress from the noise and commotion.

I've been telling Zari, "I am happy that you are 5 years old but sad that you're growing up so fast." This usually leads to a conversation about how she will some day be grown up and become a mama with her own children, and then I will be the grandma. I mentioned once that I would be sad because she wouldn't be living with me any more when she is grown up.

She replied, "But I don't want to live in a different house. I want to live in your house when I am a mama!"

I can't argue with that.

Five years is a huge milestone. Zari is learning to read, just mastered riding a "real" bike, speaks fluently in French as well as English (thanks to Eric speaking only French to her starting a bit over a year ago), and has a vivid imagination and a very good memory. She's old enough to have lifelong memories now. Wonderful and kind of scary, from a parent's perspective.

In lieu of birthday pictures, here's a snapshot from a few nights ago:

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Common Ground Statements from the Home Birth Summit

What Were the Outcomes of the Home Birth Summit?

The following statements reflect the areas of consensus that were achieved by the individuals who participated in the Home Birth Consensus Summit at Airlie Center in Warrenton, Virginia from October 20-22, 2011. These statements do not represent the position of any organization or institution affiliated with those individuals.

In creating these statements relating to maternity care and birth place in the United States, we acknowledge the complexity inherent in each topic of concern, as well as some disagreement about how to best achieve or demonstrate these principles. While all agreed that there is great value and need for further work in these areas, action plans that flow from these principles may be carried out by individuals or in newly formed, multi-stakeholder work groups according to their own, or shared, values and priorities.

Summary statements such as these can be interpreted differently by different readers. Therefore, although there was both unanimity and consensus about the topics addressed, there was not necessarily unanimity as to all of the specific words chosen to create the statements. For example, words such as “autonomy”, “independence”, and “collaboration” may have different implications for practitioners, policy makers, and consumers.

These common ground principles are intended to provide a foundation for continued dialogue and collaboration across sectors, as we work together towards a common goal of improving maternal and newborn care for families choosing home birth.

STATEMENT 1

We uphold the autonomy of all childbearing women.

All childbearing women, in all maternity care settings, should receive respectful, woman-centered care. This care should include opportunities for a shared decision-making process to help each woman make the choices that are right for her. Shared decision making includes mutual sharing of information about benefits and harms of the range of care options, respect for the woman’s autonomy to make decisions in accordance with her values and preferences, and freedom from coercion or punishment for her choices.

STATEMENT 2

We believe that collaboration within an integrated maternity care system is essential for optimal mother-baby outcomes. All women and families planning a home or birth center birth have a right to respectful, safe, and seamless consultation, referral, transport and transfer of care when necessary. When ongoing inter-professional dialogue and cooperation occur, everyone benefits.

STATEMENT 3

We are committed to an equitable maternity care system without disparities in access, delivery of care, or outcomes. This system provides culturally appropriate and affordable care in all settings, in a manner that is acceptable to all communities.

We are committed to an equitable educational system without disparities in access to affordable, culturally appropriate, and acceptable maternity care provider education for all communities.

STATEMENT 4

It is our goal that all health professionals who provide maternity care in home and birth center settings have a license that is based on national certification that includes defined competencies and standards for education and practice.

We believe that guidelines should:

• allow for independent practice
• facilitate communication between providers and across care settings
• encourage professional responsibility and accountability, and
• include mechanisms for risk assessment.

STATEMENT 5

We believe that increased participation by consumers in multi-stakeholder initiatives is essential to improving maternity care, including the development of high quality home birth services within an integrated maternity care system.

STATEMENT 6

Effective communication and collaboration across all disciplines caring for mothers and babies are essential for optimal outcomes across all settings.

To achieve this, we believe that all health professional students and practitioners who are involved in maternity and newborn care must learn about each other’s disciplines, and about maternity and health care in all settings.

STATEMENT 7

We are committed to improving the current medical liability system, which fails to justly serve society, families, and health care providers and contributes to:

• inadequate resources to support birth injured children and mothers;
• unsustainable healthcare and litigation costs paid by all;
• a hostile healthcare work environment;
• inadequate access to home birth and birth center birth within an integrated health care system, and;
• restricted choices in pregnancy and birth.

STATEMENT 8

We envision a compulsory process for the collection of patient (individual) level data on key process and outcome measures in all birth settings. These data would be linked to other data systems, used to inform quality improvement, and would thus enhance the evidence basis for care.

STATEMENT 9

We recognize and affirm the value of physiologic birth for women, babies, families and society and the value of appropriate interventions based on the best available evidence to achieve optimal outcomes for mothers and babies.


In addition to practitioners, consumers, insurers, lawyers, ethicists, administrators, and policy makers, the participants included researchers with expertise in epidemiology, public health, midwifery, obstetrics, pediatrics, nursing, sociology, medical anthropology, legal, and health policy research. However, the goal of this summit was not to examine, debate, or form a consensus statement regarding the evidence published regarding safety or maternal-newborm outcomes of planned home birth. Rather, the goal was to discover areas of common ground among these diverse stakeholders, when considering the future of home birth in the United States. By addressing our shared responsibility, we were able to identify several important and relevant topics that may benefit from ongoing multidisciplinary engagement.

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To read more about the Home Birth Consensus Summit, visit the website. If you would like to contribute towards supporting the Summit's expenses (which exceeded the anticipated budget), click here.

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Pregnant pumpkin gives birth, nurses baby

Last year a pregnant pumpkin made a guest appearance on this blog.

I recently ran into her and asked how her labor went.

"Labor was intense but manageable," she told me. "I ignored contractions for as long as possible--I love being in denial! When I felt like I just couldn't take it any more, I got in the birth pool. It felt amazing.

"Soon I felt my body starting to push. It was like throwing up in reverse. There was nothing I could do to stop it. Pushing hurt more than I had expected, and at first I fought it. Of course that just made everything worse! But once I realized that I just had to go along for the ride, the baby moved lower and soon was crowning.

"Boy was that intense! I totally understand why it's called the ring of fire. You feel like you're going to split in half. But of course you don't!

"Right after the baby was born, I picked her up out of the water and pulled her to my chest. We snuggled skin-to-skin, which was indescribably sensual: warm silky baby on my bare chest, that newborn smell....mmmm...

"My baby nursed within the first hour and has been a happly little vampire baby, as we call her, ever since.

"She's now almost eight months old. I can't believe it's gone so quickly. She's already crawling and pulling herself up on furniture. I love nursing her, but I have to say those sharp teeth can hurt!"

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iBirth review & giveaway

At the Lamaze conference last month, I learned about a new app called, appropriately, iBirth. I'm really excited to share more about it and to offer a giveaway for 5 lucky winners.

So what is iBirth? It's an Apple app with four main features (Android version in progress):

1) 26 short videos showing positions for early labor, active labor, back labor, and pushing. Each video is about 1 minute long and has a brief narration with the benefits of that position. I love this part of the app; with a touch of a button, you can see a woman leaning over the back of the bed in early labor, doing a "labor hula" with her hips, and pushing on hands & knees. Three of the videos show mild, moderate, and intense vocalizations, familiarizing women with the normal sounds of labor. These short clips were filmed professionally in a birth center setting that is neutral enough to appeal to women planning both hospital and home births.

You can watch a sample video here:


The creators of iBirth have also made a DVD of these 26 short clips. It's a great resource for childbirth educators, doulas, and midwives. And at only $30, it's a great price!

2. Contraction timer. With a large start/stop button, this timer automatically calculates length and spacing of contractions.

3. Prenatal nutrition guide. This is quite useful when you're meal planning or grocery shopping. It includes important nutrients for pregnancy and lists which foods contain those nutrients. For example, if you were looking to eat more calcium-rich foods, you'd touch "calcium" and find a long list of whole foods and how much of each to eat.

4. Tips & Lists: There are over 140 suggestions and tips to help women through labor. These range from affirmations to tips for long labors or back labor.

The iBirth app is currently on sale for $2.99 (normally $4.99). It's totally worth the money, in my opinion. My favorite part is the video library. For those people who just can't be without their gadgets, even in labor, this one would definitely be helpful!

To purchase the app, visit the iTunes store. The DVD is available at the iBirth website or on Amazon.

Now, for the fun part--a giveaway! I am offering one iBirth DVD ($30 value) and 4 free iBirth downloads ($4.99 value). If you do not have an Apple device, you will receive a free 9-month online registration to iBirth, which includes all of the features except the contraction timer.

How to enter:

• Look at the iBirth website, then leave a comment about a) your favorite iBirth feature and b) which product you'd like to win (DVD or app). 
• Be sure to leave your email or website so I can contact you.
• One extra entry for sharing on your blog, website, Facebook, Twitter, etc. (new comment please)
• Giveaway ends Friday, November 4th at 5 pm EST.
• DVD for US residents only; iBirth app for anyone, anywhere! 

 

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Caught in the act!

Raiding my tupperware drawer...
not to mention standing up by herself...

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Birth as Art

Last week, I briefly mentioned Brooklyn performance artist Marni Kotak, who was planning to give birth inside an art gallery-turned-birth space. I found a more detailed article about her art installation here at the Mail Online. The article includes several photos of Marni in her gallery, which was fitted out with a shower, birth tub, double bed, and kitchen. I had envisioned this large gallery that could hold hundreds of people, but the space is actually more intimate, with room for about 15 observers plus Marni and her birth team.

image source: http://www.dailymail.co.uk

Although giving birth in an art gallery in front of an audience might seem rather disconnected and exposed, Marni has been connecting with her future audience as they visit the gallery and chat with her:

About 20 people a day stop by to talk to Marni or see the free exhibit, which opened on October 8. Visitors can leave contact information if they want to return for the birth.

Marni said her audience 'won't be total strangers.' She said those who spend time talking to her about motherhood, birth and art and learning about the project will be notified when she goes into labor. If she's home at the time, she will go to the gallery.

'I'm developing an authentic relationship with these people,' she said. 'For me, it's like building a community of people who are really interested in this.'...

Jill McDermid, a curator and co-director of the performance art Grace Exhibition Space in Brooklyn, called Marni's work 'daring, challenging and honest.' She said people shouldn't be shocked.

'The audience is very limited. Marni views them as people she can trust, who are interested in her work and in her,' Ms McDermid said.

And just a few minutes ago, a notice came into my Google Reader: Kotak gave birth yesterday morning in her gallery to a baby boy. She will be adding a video of the birth to her installation.

Although my first reaction to the news of Kotak's performance art made me pause, I've been thinking about how it's not so much different from webcasting births (such as Dr. Nancy Salgueiro's recent livecast) or sharing birth videos on YouTube. I personally prefer to place a temporal break between giving birth and sharing the videos. I'm a really private laborer, but having a camera hasn't intruded on that privacy because I had control over when/if to share the footage.

Your thoughts?
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Home Birth Summit

I just came home from the Home Birth Summit. It was 2 1/2 exhausting but rewarding days of dialogue, discussion, and consensus-building. I was thrilled to be in a room with all of the key stakeholders in home birth and to have honest, open conversations about such a normally divisive issue.

At the end of the Summit, we (meaning all 80 of us delegates) came to consensus on nine key points. We're waiting back for the written report, but in the meantime here are 8 of the 9 main topics. I am totally blanking on the ninth!:

• Role that liability and (fear of) litigation play in increasing costs, decreasing access, restricting collaboration and narrowing women's childbearing choices
• Importance of childbearing women's autonomy and shared decision-making
• Linked data collection and sharing
• Need for collaboration between providers and a system to enable safe, seamless & respectful transfers of care
• Involving consumers in physician & midwife organizations 
• Need to address midwifery licensure in all 50 states, including dialogue on CPM core competencies, working towards licensing DEMs (most likely CPMs, perhaps expanding CM credential) in all 50 states, & eliminating CNM practice barriers
• Addressing inequalities in maternity care (access, affordability, outcomes, etc.), especially for poor, rural, & minority women
• Valuing both physiological birth and the timely & appropriate use of evidence-based interventions

The English professor in me was wincing at times; when you're writing these kind of statements by committee, the language tends to get stilted and overly wordy...but I just had to take a few breaths and let that pass.

I was thrilled that we accomplished so much in so little time. What we did at the Summit was huge. For example, we had the president-elect of FIGO and the immediate past president of ACOG hammering things out with the president of MANA and an epidemiology professor and a malpractice insurer and a direct-entry midwife. (Remember, of course, that all stakeholders attended on their own, not as representatives of their organizations.)

And of course, we had some fun along with all of our work. We had a running joke going about the disappearance of pubic hair in obstetrics (one of those "you had to be there" moments). We also met last night to share birth stories. I showed the video of Inga's birth and I was so honored that such a mixed group got to see and talk about it.

One of my favorite activities was when each stakeholder group created a Proud/Sorry list: 3 things they were proud of and 3 things they were sorry for. Jill of The Unnecesarean and I immediately turned to each other and said, "We are sorry for fanning the flames of divisiveness through anti-OB and anti-hospital rhetoric." That became #1 on our Sorry list.

Over the years I've been blogging, I've matured a lot in my rhetoric and understanding of birth and breastfeeding. I find myself more willing to embrace other viewpoints, less strident in my advocacy for home birth or natural birth (although I still feel passionately about it), and more eager to engage in true dialogue with those groups typically cast as the enemy. Repeat after me: Doctors are not the enemy. Hospitals are not the enemy. (If anyone or anything is--and I think almost everyone at the Summit would agree--it is our malpractice/litigation system.)

The OB group's Proud/Sorry list--which stretched far beyond three items in both categories--was particularly touching. It's too bad we don't have more opportunities for this kind of sharing and conversation. I think we'd find we have so many common goals and that the stereotypes just don't hold up.

I better stop now before I start singing Kumbaya and getting all touchy-feely on you.

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Home Birth Summit!

I'm heading off to the Home Birth Summit early tomorrow morning. I am so excited to participate! There are about 80 delegates attending (click on their names for bios), some of whom I know in person and others I know through reading their books or articles. I can't wait to meet Lauren Plante or Mark Sloan, author of Birth Day.

If you aren't attending but would like to contribute, you can do the following:

1. Share your thoughts here. 

2. Help cover my registration costs by purchasing a sling or advertising on my blog. I have a current 3-for-1 advertising promotion where you can purchase 3 months for the price of 1, or 1 month at 67% off! The Summit received grant money to cover some travel expenses, but I still have to pay for registration and housing (~$600) on my own. Finances are tight right now and I almost didn't go. But I just couldn't pass up on such an important event.

I might not be able to offer matching ceramic yoni charm bracelets, but I'll definitely give you a virtual home birth hug-fest.
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How low can you go?

I've been playing chicken with my thermostat. Right now our house is a frigid 51 degrees Fahrenheit (10 degrees Celsius). I am wearing two layers on my feet and three on my body, plus a hot rice sock around my neck. It's way too cold for me.

Normally I'm not so hard-core with my house temperatures, but we are currently replacing our boiler. Our old one was a behemoth that was operating at 40-50% efficiency at best. Our new boiler--to be finished tomorrow--will run at 95% efficiency. We have a big house, and I wanted the highest possible heat savings.

Only one more cold night. I bet we'll be in the 40s inside before our heat comes on tomorrow. Brrrr....

How low can you go in the winter?
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Birth at 90 mph

A new birth story just showed up in my Google reader, even though it was posted back in February when I was waiting...and waiting...for Inga to be born. It's an amazing story of a baby born on the freeway on the way to the birth center. But unlike most car birth stories, the parents weren't freaking out. Instead, here's what happened:

Davey got me in the car and thank God he had the brains to grab a blanket as we ran out the door. He threw it in the back and we raced towards the freeway. As we flew down the street I started to feel a serious adrenaline rush. And as we merged onto the freeway, I started to feel something even more serious.....the urge to push. We made it about 4 exits until I knew that we weren't going to make it. [The birth center was an hour drive away.] The urge to push turned into the necessity to push and I told Davey, "I have to push!! I'm taking my boots and pants off! Seriously! I need to push now!! Pull over! Pull over!" He started to pull off the freeway and called Lori [the midwife] and told her what was going on. She said not to pull over until we had a head out. So he turned right back around and we were back on the freeway.

Four minutes down the road, on a dark, quiet stretch of freeway, on a rainy night, in the middle of the hills of Lake Elsinore, our baby was born. I reached down and with one, big push felt the babies head moving down towards my hands. And with the next push his head was in my hands and I cupped my hands softly around his neck to make sure there was no cord and also to steady his body as I pushed the rest of him out. He slid out like silk and I turned him toward me and lay him on my belly. He was perfection. Davey was hollering, "YAH!!! WHOOHOO!! You did it baby! You did it!" And the loud, strong cry of our newborn filled the car. He was instantly pink, instantly breathing, and instantly loved and adored. I raised his little leg and exclaimed, "It's a BOY!!!" And Davey and I just smiled and laughed and it was an awesome moment.

Davey pulled over and ran to the back of the car to grab the blanket. He wrapped our son in it and got back in and we quickly proceeded to the birth center. The whole car ride there was like we both were on an emotional high. There was SO much happiness and excitement in that car. I held him tightly in my arms and just gazed at him in amazement and Davey and I couldn't stop rejoicing.

Doesn't that make you want to have a baby all over again?

Read the rest of the story here. 
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News and updates

Clearing out my bookmarks (a.k.a. procrastinating grading my freshman composition papers):

CDC to support Baby-Friendly Hospital Initiative
This just out: the CDC has dedicated $6 million to help more hospitals adopt the Baby-Friendly initiative! Dr. William H. Dietz, MD, Ph.D. and director of the CDC's Division of Nutrition, Physical Activity and Obesity, commented: “We know that breastfeeding rates are higher in Baby-Friendly hospitals, yet only 5 percent of babies in this country are born in these facilities. We need to help hospitals improve their maternity care to better support breastfeeding. This project takes steps to do that, and it offers real solutions to improve the health of mothers and babies.”

Birth as Performance Art?
Brooklyn performance artist Marni Kotak plans to give birth in her art gallery, and the public is invited. From an interview with The Village Voice:

My performance at Microscope will begin as I install the show, setting up my own home-birth center in the space, and will span the entire duration of the exhibition. Part of giving birth is the mental and physical preparation for the event. A lot elements go into a traditional home-birth, and I received a whole list of necessary supplies from my midwife. I will be installing an inflatable birthing pool and a shower in the gallery, along with my deceased grandmother's bed, the rocking chair that my mother rocked me on when I was a baby, shag carpeting, a surround video projection of ocean waves crashing on the shores of my favorite Cape Cod beach, artwork made by my husband and the child's father, Jason Robert Bell, and a small kitchen area for food and drinks.

All of these elements are incorporated to make the labor process as smooth and as comfortable as possible. As this will take place in front of an audience, rather than in the privacy of my home, I am doing extra mental preparation at the advice of my doula (who along with my midwife will be present at the birth) to let go of my mind and totally go into my body. She told me that once I really enter active labor the body just takes over and I won't care at all what is going on around me. My focus will be on having my baby. I know it will be challenging, but I think if people give birth in the completely inhospitable environment of hospitals, hooked up to IVs and monitors and strapped with stirrups into a bed, I can give birth in an art gallery. And in giving birth in front of the audience, I am showing them, as in my previous performances, that real life is the best performance art, and that, if our eyes can be opened to it, all of the meaning that we seek is right there in our everyday lives.

Read the rest here.

Live home birth
Another woman, Canadian chiropractor Nancy Salgueiro, will be live-casting her birth. She's currently 41 weeks pregnant, so it should happen any day now. If you want to watch, you can register here.

Two VBAC stories
Accidental unassisted birth (caution: will probably make you laugh) and a hospital VBAC with a midwife & OB teaming up.

Birthing in Zion
If you're an LDS birth worker, there's a new online directory called Birthing in Zion organized by WAVE (Women Advocating for Voice & Equality).

Baby Style
My friend Desiree just wrote about baby style. I agree 100%. No rhinestones or tutus or butt pants on my little girls! My own style--if I can call it that, since 99.99% of my kids' clothes are second-hand--leans towards the slightly feminine but not girly. Some of my favorite girl's outfits are jeans and a peasant blouse. Of course, my kids wear a lot of mixed-gender clothes too! Zari's summer sandals are used boy's sandals with footballs and baseballs, and Dio's sandals are pink leather hand-me-downs.

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Who is the biggest loser?

My freshman composition class just wrapped up a unit of readings about food. We read a wide variety of articles and essays: classic Michael Pollan fare ("Eat food. Mostly plants. Not too much."), arguments for vegetarianism as the most environmentally friendly way to eat, advocates of conventional industrial agriculture, articles about America's obesity crisis, and arguments for genetically modified plants as the future of sustainable agriculture. We also watched Food, Inc. and had a local organic farmer visit our class as a guest speaker.

Our readings on food discussed several perspectives on obesity. Some encouraged better individual eating choices as the solution to unhealthy bodies. Others pointed fingers at US food policy that subsidizes overproduction of corn and thus floods the market with cheap corn-derived foods. Some noted that while cheap, unhealthy food isn't good for our bodies, it is deeply enmeshed in the American economy and thus will be hard to change.  

Last class, I did an activity about reducing excess wordiness, which I called "The Biggest Loser." I had never seen the TV show before, so I did some "research" and watched a few episodes. I found myself simultaneously fascinated and cynical. It was incredible to see the physical transformations the contestants undergo. Despite the annoying reality TV genre, I still felt motivated when I heard the contestants' success stories. You can do it! Rah rah rah! At the same time, I felt cynical because only a tiny minority of people struggling with excess weight have access to a team of personal trainers, dietitians, and physicians--not to mention an all-expenses-paid stay at a weight-loss camp. "The Biggest Loser" both inspired me and deepened my skepticism.

Obesity has its own controversies in the world of maternity care. On one hand, maternal obesity is associated with many pregnancy & birth complications. But we don't know how much of this is simply self-fulfilling prophecy and/or care provider bias and how much is due to inherent risk of obesity itself. Should we strive towards fat acceptance and the concept of being healthy at any size? Is there some kind of reasonable BMI benchmark we should encourage women of childbearing age to reach? Will focusing on individual choices make more of a difference than trying to change systemic failures? Or will it just make overweight women feel more guilty?

Thoughts?
Links to articles you'd like to share?

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Wish list...

Some things I'd love to do...maybe in another lifetime

Do an underwater maternity photo shoot
I'd have to get pregnant first, but isn't this underwater photography just about the most beautiful thing you've ever seen? Here's a peek at one of the photos from Kevin Beasley Photography.

Take CrossFit classes
I exercise 3 mornings a week right after I teach. I usually do 10 minutes of rowing, then lift weights, then do an elliptical machine until Eric arrives with the kids. But I'd like to take my fitness to another level. My sister-in-law has been doing CrossFit and swears by it. She's never been so fit in her life, and she has five children now! I don't care about trying to be thin. I just want a strong, capable, athletic body. I definitely don't want to be skinny fat.

Have a dress form made from my actual body
If you've ever wondered why your clothes often fit poorly, look at the body shape used for creating clothes. I've never seen a woman who actually looks like this (size 8 or "medium")...

or this? (a "plus size" dress form)

Yeah, that's why your clothes don't fit!

What is on your wish list?
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7 months old!

Even though Inga is my third baby, every new milestone is just as exciting. She smiles! She sits up! She gets teeth! Since my last update two months ago, Inga has learned how to sit up by herself, how to push herself up on hands and knees (or hands and feet in a perfect downward facing dog), and how to move herself all over the place. She hasn't technically crawled, but has done everything else short of that.

I can't get enough of her. She is seriously the most easy-going baby ever. She's content to sit and play with toys for long stretches of time. Thanks to this we've been able to get lots of home renovations done.

She puts up with quite a bit of abuse love from her siblings.

I'm holding off solids for as long as possible. Zari was 10 months before she had any foods, while Dio was just over 6 months. (Very typical of his personality--I could not hold him off any longer). Inga has ingested grass, leaves, and the occasional pea scavenged from underneath Zari and Dio's chairs, but otherwise she's on a strict breastmilk diet for as long as possible. I'm all about lazy parenting and nothing is as easy as nursing. Once a baby starts to eat food, you have to deal with feeding and cleaning them, finding something for them to eat, and nasty stinky diapers. Plus I want to hold off my fertility for a while longer. So lazy parenting = good all around.

When I updated two months ago, Inga was waking once, occasionally twice, a night. Now she's back to 3-4 times a night. This has happened with all three kids at around the same time. I have no idea why. If Inga follows her siblings' patterns, I'll have another 6-12 months before she genuinely sleeps through the night. As much as I like that idea, I also like keeping my fertility at bay so I'm fine with the more frequent night nursing.

Today, Eric discovered two little bottom teeth poking out! She hasn't been crabby so the teeth were quite unexpected. (And that dot on her forehead is something on my camera lens.)

I don't know how I'll ever be able to say I'm "done" having kids. I love, love, love the baby stage and the thought of never having another laughing, smiling baby makes me so sad. I think 5 kids sounds about right--probably because I came from a family of 5 siblings--but what if I have 5 and still feel the same way? Hmmmm, probably best to just focus my energy on the ones I have right now and not worry about the future.

6 months!

Anyway there's lots of happiness chez les Freezes.

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Natural body products

I wanted to mention several natural body products I have been using. Some were purchased, others were samples provided for me to review, and others were won in a giveaway. So here's what I have been trying out:

1. Kiss My Face products (won in a giveaway): I love the scent of the six products I received. The skin, hair, and lip products are all made with real orange essential oil, so you're smelling the real deal--not a chemical reproduction of "orange flavor."

• Berry Smart Toothpaste: A sweet berry-flavored kid's toothpaste that comes in fluoride-free or regular versions. It was a bit sweet for my taste, but Dio liked it. 
• Orange U Smart Whale of a Soaps: I still haven't tried these out yet. I don't use bar soap very often.
• Obsessively Natural Lip Balms: The lip balm was a bit on the dry side--I had to rub it quite hard on my lips. It has softened more as I've gotten lower down in the tube.
• Orange U Smart Bubble Wash: Love it! My only complaint is that it seems a bit watery. We go through this way too quickly!
• Self-Foaming Hand Wash: My kids think foaming hand soap is the best thing ever. No complaints when I ask them to wash up. 
• Self-Foaming Shampoo and Body Wash (no longer available): It's too bad this isn't available any more, since it's great stuff. It's a multipurpose foaming wash that also works as a baby shampoo. You squeeze the bottle and the wash comes out in big, foamy bubbles.

2. Bionée organic maternity skin care.

Bionée is a new company, started last year by a woman who fell in love with the bounty of the French countryside. It specializes in natural, organic, fair-trade skin care for mother and baby. I received two small samples to review: Silhouette Lotion and Body Caress. The Silhouette Lotion is supposed to tone and lift. Now, I wasn't able to verify if, indeed, the lotion could lift and tone with just a small sample. But I loved the smell and feel of it--super light and fast to absorb. (Could someone please invent a cream that lifts not just skin but also droopy boobs? I'd totally buy it!) Body Caress is a creamier lotion created to soothe and protect a baby's skin. Another lovely product that I like for my own skin as much as for Inga's.

3. Nature's Gate Fragrance-Free Lotion for Sensitive Skin (purchased).

I wanted a light, all-natural lotion with a smell that wouldn't bother me. I was ordering through my United Natural Foods buying club, so I couldn't test the lotion out ahead of time. I opted for the fragrance-free version, which I am very happy with. It's light, non-oily, and leaves no residue. I want to try the Lemongrass and Clary Sage lotion next time I order. I'm really careful about products that I put directly on my skin--lotions in particular--and I am quite satisfied with Nature's Gate. (I'm more lax with things that you rinse off right away, such as shampoos or soaps. I am super cheap, so I have to prioritize where I will spend and where I will economize.)

4.  Green Body Basics Naturally Effective Deodorant (sample provided for review)

I've never used a natural deodorant before. In the past, I've either used conventional antiperspirants (during the summer months) or nothing (during the winter months). Unlike aluminum-based antiperspirants, Green Body Basics deodorants do not block the skin's pores. They are more of a true deodorant than an antiperspirant, although the baking soda absorbs moisture as well as blocks scent. I absolutely love how Green Body Basics "Stamina" smells. Love it. I want to wear it just keep smelling it. It's scented with clary sage essential oil. Somehow, I've never come across this particular scent before and I love it. It's very fresh, not too musky or flowery.

Now for a more theoretical musing about "natural" body products:

As much as I think these products are quite lovely, and that it's good to use body products that are natural, organic, and plant-based, I wonder if focusing on individual consumption will divert time and resources away from system-wide problems. At a certain point, you can't avoid exposure to environmental contaminants. No matter how many organic or "natural" products you buy, a lot of pollutants and toxins come via mechanisms that we can't control or filter out. I'm not saying that we should just put anything and everything into our bodies, but I wonder how much effect purchasing (lovely but often quite expensive) "natural" or organic products will have in limiting our overall chemical exposure. I think a better focus than individual consumption is state- and nationwide regulation of harmful substances.

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Currently reading

A Discovery of Witches by Deborah E. Harkness. A fun read in which an American witch and a French (well, now he's British 1000+ years later) vampire, pursuing an ancient manuscript, fall in love. Oh, and there are daemons too. It's written by a history professor, so keep your eyes open for historical references to various medical and alchemical personages. The book ended right when things were getting really interesting, so I certainly hope there's another book in the works!

The Witch's Daughter by Paula Brackston. A 300+ year saga of an English witch, pursued through time by her warlock tormentor Gideon. The story spins the tale of the dueling forces of good (the witchcraft practiced by the narrator) and evil (the sorcery and Devil worship practiced by Gideon). Lots of  details about paganism & Wiccan practices sprinkled throughout the book.

The Proviso and Stay by Moriah Jovan. I read a book review of Jovan's most recent novel Magdalene and was hooked: a recently-widowed Mormon bishop who marries an former high-end prostitute? Too fun to pass up! I haven't been able to get my hands on Magdalene yet, but I did read the first two novels of the Tales of Dunham series. Her books aren't for the faint of heart--there is a lot of swearing and a lot of sex. I found myself very intrigued by the characters in her books, especially those in The Proviso. Many of them are, for lack of a better word, "Mormon misfits," the kind of people I would love to spend time with. These books are definitely not Mormon genre fiction, though; while several of her characters are Mormon, their religion isn't the central focus of the story. I liked The Proviso more than Stay, which was more of a romance than anything else. I'm less than patient when the central drama is "will they or won't they finally admit that they love each other?

Arms Wide Open: A Midwife's Journey by Patricia Harman. I expected this book to be a memoir about being a midwife, but instead it's mostly a memoir of her evolution from a back-to-the-land anti-war hippie living in a commune (who, on the side, became a home birth midwife) to a nurse-midwife married to an OB/GYN three decades later. Even as it questions the utility (futility?) of the counter-cultural movements of the 1960s and 70s, Harman's book also celebrates that hopefulness and optimism that led people to deliberately abandon their possessions and educations and live lives of voluntary poverty. I was hoping for more stories of her life as a midwife, but I'll have to read her other book, The Blue Cotton Gown, for those tales.

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Either/Or into And/And

Life as a parent is full of either/or's: either I let my baby cry while I shower, or I hold my baby and forego personal hygeine. Either I get dinner made on time, or I spend the afternoon outside with the kids (and then deal with hunger-induced tantrums).

But sometimes you can turn an Either/Or (either I paint the porch ceiling or I hold my baby) into an And/And situation:

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The Mermaid's Muse felted wool dolls

Several months ago I was browsing through Etsy and came across The Mermaid's Muse. I fell in love.

I never knew that wool could so beautifully express emotion and relationship.  Don't you just love these pieces?

The store's owner, Kate, has two children. She writes:

My daughter sees mermaids in every body of water we pass. Her glorious imagination and bright interest in life provides fuel for my creativity. From the simplicity of Waldorf-inspired toys to the profoundness of a parent's first embrace, I have the chance to see the world anew through her eyes. She is my muse.

As of November 2010 I am blessed with yet another muse! A new baby reminds me of the fast fleeting nature of childhood as she grows and changes everyday. Through many of my newest pieces I relish motherhood and the bond of love for a child.

Kate sent me "Dandelions" to review: a mother and child discovering the beauty of an everyday  flower. The set of dolls is about 7" high and solidly felted.

Look at these incredible details--the curly hair, the silken scarf...

If you love her work as much as I do, please visit The Mermaid's Muse. Her pieces would make the perfect gift for a new mom or mother-to-be; for a midwife, doula, or physician; or of course for yourself!

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TriLight giveaway winners

If you are one of these winners, please get in touch with me!

• llamaofdoom (BOLD giveaway)
• Still standin' (BOLD giveaway)
• Rosemary (BOLD giveaway)
• Alisha
• Abundant B'earth

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Lamaze Conference, Fort Worth TX

I'm back from another Lamaze conference. This year seemed to be "all about the baby." Almost every presentation I attended (and the talk I gave) was about breastfeeding, skin-to-skin, or other post-birth baby care. Last year Linda Smith, in her plenary address, urged us: "If you want to change birth practices, get on the breastfeeding bandwagon." It seems like people have taken her advice seriously!

Thursday's plenary session was about elective late pre-term and early term inductions (before 39 weeks). The presenter, Dr. Rebecca Ewing, showed the video RISK: Consequences of a Near Term Birth, aimed at discouraging parents from choosing inductions before 39 weeks because of the risks involved. I have some serious concerns that the movie will just foster more fear and guilt in parents, rather than motivating them to avoid an early induction. It told the story of two mothers who had late preterm/early term births at 36 and 37 weeks and whose babies had serious complications from being born early. But these mothers went into labor spontaneously. The film really should have featured women who had elective near term inductions, not spontaneous preterm births!

Friday's first plenary session was by Debra Pascali-Bonaro. She heads the International MotherBaby Childbirth Organization and has helped implement Mother-Friendly birth practices in hospitals and birth centers across the world. Her presentation "IMBCI: What Does an Optimal MotherBaby Model Look, Feel and Smell Like?" showed IMBCI hospitals from high, medium, and low-resource countries. It is amazing what these hospitals have been able to do, even with extremely high patient volumes and very little money.

I spoke during the first breakout session about "A Proactive Approach to Breastfeeding." I had an aha! moment while preparing my presentation and realized that learning how to breastfeed (in our culture) is like learning a foreign language. Sure, breastfeeding is natural and instinctual and almost all women can breastfeed successfully--but only in a culture where breastfeeding is still the "native tongue." But we don't live in that cultural context any more. We are fluent in bottle-feeding, not breastfeeding. So we have to learn (re-learn) the language of breastfeeding--how to hold a breastfed baby, what a good latch looks and feels like, how often and how long to feed the baby, how to know when a baby is hungry or is satiated. These are all things that women who are breastfeeding natives might not even be able to articulate; they would just know through observing it everywhere, day in and day out.

Next, I attended Ann Grauer's presentation "Seeing is Believing: Building Breastfeeding Confidence from the Start." Fantastic. So fantastic that I am dying to have her write a guest post and explain how breastfeeding really can be so easy to learn and to teach.

The last session on Friday was a research updated on labor management, fetal well-being, and induction of labor. Liz DeMaere, who used to work as a L&D nurse in Canada and now works for Salus Global Corporation implementing safety & quality measures, explained the newest research based on the SOGC's MORE OB program. Did you know that the ACOG has approved MORE OB? That means that (in theory, if not in reality) all low-risk laboring women should received intermittent auscultation as the standard of care, that primips should not be admitted until they are at least 3-4 cms dilated and having regular contractions (no admits at 1 cm and no effacement!), and that induction of labor should occur unless the reasons are "convincing, compelling, consented, and documented"?

On Saturday morning, I watched the new film The Magical Hour: Holding Your Baby Skin-to-Skin in the First Hour After Birth. Dr. Kajsa Brimdyr (love her name! pronounced "KAI-suh"), who produced the film, led a discussion after the film. This is a companion film to Skin to Skin in the First Hour after Birth: Practical Advice for Staff after Vaginal and Cesarean Birth, which I reviewed last year. So many parents and childibrht educators were using the practical advice film (which was aimed towards care providers and more technical and pragmatic) that Dr. Brimdyr decided to produce a more parent-oriented version. It's fantastic and at less than $40, an amazing value.

Following the film showing, I attended "Listening to Newborns: What Babies Have to Say About Transitions to Life" by Linda Jablonski. It was a research update about bulb suctioning, cord clamping, skin-to-skin contact immediately after birth, and self-attachment. She works at Baystate Franklin Medical Center and helped implement the practices supported by the latest research (no routine bulb suctioning, even after cesarean section; delayed cord clamping, at least 3 mins and/or when cord ceases pulsing; immediate S2S; and self-attachment, rather than actively helping the baby latch on). Her hospital, located in western MA, has a fantastic track record with the lowest cesarean rate in the state (21%) and a VBAC rate of 42% (80% successful). Her hospital really tries to be on the front line of offering innovations. They were the first hospital in the state to offer waterbirth and PCEA (patient-controlled epidural anesthesia). I came away with a thorough bibilography of the latest evidence base for these four practices.

Next, I went to three brief research presentations about chiropractic care in pregnancy (definitely underwhelmed by the quality of both the evidence and of the presentation), about prenatal care in home birth, and about the relationship between epidural anesthesia and childbirth outcome.

I was so tired by this point that I skipped the last session of the day and had a relaxing dinner & evening at home with Inga.

Sunday had one last set of breakout sessions. I attended "Whys and Hows of Supporting Newborns: 9 Stages During Skin-to-Skin" by Jeannette Crenshaw and Kajsa Brimdyr. I told you that it was all about the babies this year!

The last plenary session had nothing to do with childbirth. Instead, it featured a motivational speaker trying to get us to "Fire Up Your Life!". I'm just not into motivational speakers. I really want to hear about pregnancy, birth, or breastfeeding at a Lamaze conference, not how to set goals or find balance in your life.

The journey home was long. I spent 8 hours in the DFW airport (I hoped to go standby on an earlier flight, but no luck). I graded papers and kept Inga amused and somehow we survived. We got home at 1:30 am; Eric had to wake up the kids and drive everyone to the airport to pick me up, so we were all pretty tired the next day.

Inga was the star of the show at the Lamaze conference. She was a total angel and stayed happy and quiet the entire four days of the conference. She loved all of the attention! In fact if people aren't paying attention to her, she will practically yell at them to catch their eye, then smile and preen once they look over.

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Don't mess with Texas

I'm in the lone star state for the annual Lamaze Conference. I'm staying with Desiree of Hitting My Stride. Our babies are hanging out together, we're in our pajamas, and life is good.

I was really emotional leaving my other kids yesterday--and if you know me, I almost never cry. It doesn't help that they were both crying at the airport and that Dio said all the way home "where's mama go? where's mama go?"

Yesterday Desiree introduced me Dude, Sweet Chocolate. Amazing. Their store has a lot more than what's offered online. I bought dark chocolate & blue cheese truffles and a 100% cocoa bar with sesame seeds and balsamic vinegar (yes really, they're delicious).

I need to work on my presentation. Come say hi if you're at the conference!

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TriLight Health giveaway

Interested in trying a product from TriLight Health? I am offering a giveaway to two more lucky winners! Each winner will receive their choice of any of TriLight's best-sellers.

How to enter:

• Submit a comment about which TriLight product you'd like to review
• Contest ends Friday, September 16 at 5 pm EST
• Open to US residents only
• Winners agree to write a review of their product within 7 days of receipt.

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Labor Day Weekend

Before this next weekend comes to a close, I want to write about my Labor Day weekend in NYC. First off--going somewhere with just my husband and one baby made me feel young and single again! We could watch movies! Go from Brooklyn to Manhattan and back several times in a day! We could stay up late and meet famous people! Seriously, life is so easy with just one baby. I hadn't realized how much I had adjusted to three small children until I spent three night away. It's the first time Eric and I have ever been away by ourselves (little Inga doesn't count!) since we started having kids.

We didn't even do anything super crazy. The whole fun was having so much freedom and quiet and discretionary time.

On Saturday night, we watched Midnight in Paris in lower Manhattan. My sister gave me a Fandango gift certificate, so the tickets were free. The film was fantastic--if you've ever studied the writers & artists in 1920s Paris (Hemingway, Fitzgerald, Dali, Stein, Baker, Porter, Picasso, etc), you'll absolutely love it.

We were the only people there with a baby. I didn't see anyone else under the age of 18, so we certainly got lots of stares. While the previews were running, I heard a very loud comment from a man a few rows back about "somebody bringing a baby to the show." It was totally obvious the comment was aimed in our direction. But I knew my little Inga. As soon as the movie started, I nursed her and she was out for the entire show. Not even a little squeak. So there, rude Manhattanite who assumed his evening would be ruined. I got lots of glowing comments on the way out of the theater about how angelic my baby had been.

On Sunday, I had a lovely breastfeeding moment. We attended services at LDS Park Slope Ward in Brooklyn. It's full of young families with small children. (Seriously, everyone was so stylish and hip-- pixie hair cuts, chunky glasses, slim 1960s-style suits...definitely different from my home congregation!) Anyway after the meetings were over, I was sitting in the lobby breastfeeding Inga with my top unbuttoned. No cover, of course. One of those uber-hip guys (late 20s, probably a father, skinny pants, closely cropped beard, thick-rimmed glasses, screaming "graphic designer") came up to me and said, "I'm so glad to see you breastfeeding openly!" He chatted about how he wants women to feel welcome to nurse openly, rather than having to hide in the mother's lounge. He said a lot of people still feel they have to use a nursing cover, even when they're in the mother's lounge. Crazy, huh? So that was a lovely moment.

I had a not-so-lovely moment on the metro, though. A man sat down next to me and started chatting amiably about Inga, throwing her smiles and getting her to laugh. He asked, "Is this your first?"

"No, she's my third?"

"Planning on having any more?"

"Hmmm, probably."

Then he turned from nice baby-cooing man to evil you're-what's-making-this-country-go-to-pot man. I got a lengthy tirade about how I should not have any more than three children, how if I had more than three, pretty soon we'll end up on welfare and our kids will be messed up and we will be miserable, since we obviously will not be able to provide for more than three children. This continued for about fifteen minutes. I just nodded and said yes and waited until we came to our stop. I mean, what can you say?

On Labor Day, we met at Karen's parents' apartment in the Upper West Side with other VIPs, including producer Elizabeth Mangum-Sarach (director of BirthFocus and blogger at BIRTH...from the backseat), Debra Pascali-Bonaro, and Kirsti Kreutzer & Anna Van Wagoner (from Where's My Midwife? and creators of Pregnant Mayhem). I had a nice talk with Ina May Gaskin, whom I've seen several times at conferences but never had the opportunity to meet in person until then.

Now, onto the BOLD event at the Museum of Motherhood--the reason for our NYC adventure. I arrived a bit frazzled, since the Metro ride from Brooklyn to the Upper East Side took quite a bit longer than it usually does. I nursed Inga as fast as possible (which is when this picture was taken), put on my high heels, and slipped into my seat just in time for the show to begin. It was a reading of Karen Brody's play. It was fully choreographed, except the actors had scripts. Several had memorized their parts, so much of the time it didn't feel like a reading.

I loved the play--full of real stories from real women from all walks of life. Women who chose elective c-section and loved them, women who had inductions and loved parts and hated other parts, women who had traumatic births and chose something different the second time around, women who stayed with their doctors even though they knew they should switch and women who switched providers to get the care they deserved.

I met Jill from The Unnecesarean ("Hey Rixa, I never realized you were so tall!" Jill is even taller, BTW), ICAN president Desirre Andrews, and more. Abby Epstein was there, but I never got a chance to introduce myself. I got to say some fun blurbs about my reaction to the play for the DVD they're producing.

During the play, Eric and Inga strolled around the neighborhood. Eventually he found a couch sitting on the curb--perfect place for Inga to nap. (Of course he hadn't worried about bedbugs at the time; let's hope they didn't pick any up from the abandoned couch!) After the filming was over, they joined us for the 5th anniversary birthday celebration. We got home a bit after 1 am and Inga was amazingly cheerful despite the late night and being dragged all over New York City.

Special thanks to chou and husband for letting us sleep in their living room!

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Breastfeeding at the Museum of Motherhood

Nursing Inga before the BOLD 5th Anniversary Event at the Museum of Motherhood in NYC. More details coming later about the weekend...

(I thought about photoshopping the nursing bra out...but I love the juxtaposition of the mundane bra and the fancy dress. Inga kept trying to pull the beads off.)

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BOLD giveaway!

Don't forget to register to register to view the BOLD's free webcast of BIRTH! It will be shown live tomorrow (Labor Day) at 7pm EST. If you can't watch it tomorrow, you can view it at several times throughout September.

To entice you to watch Karen Brody's play, I am thrilled to offer an interactive giveaway from TriLight Health. Here's how it works:

5 winners will receive their choice of any of TriLight's best-sellers.  Each winner will submit a review of the product, which I will then post.

How to enter:

• Register for the BOLD event
• Submit a comment letting me know you've registered and which TriLight product you'd like to review
• Contest ends tomorrow at 7 pm EST
• Open to US residents only
• Reviews must be submitted within 7 days of receiving the product. 

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More than one but not quite two

Today my freshman composition students are discussing what it means to be a man or a woman, in preparation for their first major writing assignment. In honor of Inga turning 6 months old today, I decided to do the writing assignment myself. I'm sharing it with my students to give them ideas for their upcoming paper. Inga is coming with me to class today; I hope she will add something tangible to our discussion!

What does it mean to be a woman?

Dr. Rixa Freeze

September 2, 2011

In kindergarten math class, I learned that 1 + 1 = 2. In grade school, I learned to conjugate verbs. I am. She is. You are. In high school biology, I learned about meiosis and mitosis, how our genetic code divides and recombines like great spiral zippers. In college, I learned about the political theory of individualism, about Cartesian dualism, and about feminist theories of the body. Yet none of this prepared me for the seismic shock of becoming a mother and suddenly discovering that I was more than one, but not quite two.

When I was pregnant for the first time, I felt a strange sense of recognition for my expanding body. My belly stretched, my breasts swelled, my skin tightened. I felt, for the first time, entirely myself. This, I thought, is what a woman’s body really is. It was a great discovery, as if I had circumnavigated the globe and split the atom and solved global hunger in the course of an afternoon.

Still, I could not ignore the little being inside of me. It first felt like champagne bubbles, then a school of minnows, then finally, like an actual baby. I could feel head and legs and butt. It hiccuped at predictable times. It kicked and punched, stretched and rolled. (It? She? He?) There was a person inside me, hidden behind skin, muscle, and water. This person was half me and half my husband, completely reliant upon my body but entirely its own self.

We think of birth as the great dividing moment that separates mother-fetus into mother and child. I’ve heard parents and doctors say “You’re on your own now” when they cut the umbilical cord. But I think of my third child’s birth and I can’t point to a definitive moment when I (pregnant woman) became me (mother) and her (baby). When did we become not-one-but-two—was it when her head emerged from my body? Was it when her legs and toes slipped out? Was it when, a few seconds after her birth, she lost her color and I gave her the first breaths of life? Even those breaths were not hers. They were mine, passed from my lungs to hers in the most intimate and urgent embrace either of us had ever known.

So I am not convinced that the act of birth marks the line between one and two. After birth, when our bodies were no longer tied together by umbilical cord and placenta, my babies still relied upon me for survival. My breasts were literally their lifeline. My youngest baby, six months old today, is still only nursing. I cannot leave her for more than a few hours at a time. Her rolls of fat, her dimpled bottom, even her hefty double chin came directly from my body.

We are more than one, but not quite two. I haven’t discovered the calculus to describe where one self ends and another begins. I can only notice when the boundaries of personhood blur: how I can’t stop kissing the soft folds of her neck, how I wake at night moments before she does, how my body turns blood into milk into baby.

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