What do you do about climbers (otherwise known as 2-year-olds who climb out of their cribs and come downstairs at night multiple times when they should be sleeping)? It might be time to put Inga in a real bed, since she can easily climb in and out of her crib. But still wouldn't solve the not-staying-in-bed issue.
What do you suggest? Lock her door from the outside? Put a child-proof cover over the doorknob? Zari slept in a real bed from early on and never really had issues "sneaking" out. Dio stayed in his crib until he was 3 and never figured out how to climb out. So this is a new problem for us, even though we have 4 kids!
I also wonder if I should cut out Inga's nap and hope that she's so tired at night she won't stay up for several hours escaping. But then I'd lose my quiet time in the afternoon. Not sure if I'm ready to give that up yet!
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I can't remember which child this was for, probably Ellie since she was climbing out by 15 months, we would put a baby gate at the door, so the door could be open, but she couldn't get out. That's not to say we still didn't play the in and out game...
ReplyDeleteI vote for a toddler bed (or adult bed with railing). One of my friend's kids broke her arm climbing out of her crib. The second there is any sign of climbing, I would get rid of the crib for safety's sake. Why exactly do you want her to stay in her room? Does she have to be sleeping? Around two (around the time I cut out the bedtime nursing) for my eldest, we enacted the policy that she could "read" in bed at bedtime for as long as she wanted. The light had to stay off but the door could be open and teh hall light on. Maybe teh solution is to allow her to play or entertain herself so she will stay in her room by herself. Or maybe she would be more willing to do that if she slept with her big sister?
ReplyDelete--Amber
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I have this problem with my two-year old at the moment who sleeps in a regular bed. She props her potty up against the door to let herself out! Her older sister (who shares her bed) is starting to follow her out now too! The older one usually stays in bed without coming out. So far, we are telling them to go back to bed, and it is starting to stick. When our schedule is disrupted (like our recent evacuation due to flooding!), it gets worse, but during normal times, she comes out now only rarely, and then, I can tell her to go back to bed and she does. I sometimes need to go with her and tuck her back in, but more freedom and responsibility seems to work better for my girl than trying to contain her (which always seems to backfire). We never had this problem with her older sister, so temperament seems to be part of it.
ReplyDeleteFor my son it didn't matter if he was in a crib or bed. He would come out of his room all. night. long. for a week. I decided to do something I swore I would never do and flipped the door handle so we could lock him in. Of course we talked to him first and explained that he was being disobedient and we needed to lock him in so he could rest. It was horrible for a day or two, but it worked. He hated the lock and was distraught whenever we had to use it, but he finally acquiesced. A word to the wise, if you do try this, put a key inside the room for yourself. He also took delight in locking us in his room. It's only fair, I guess.
ReplyDeleteMy son did that for a couple weeks and my daughter for a couple days. We had to let them know we were serious about it being wrong and let them know we were watching. I literally stood outside the door and watched after putting them down. As soon as they put a foot over the side, I said "no" and made them lay back down. For me, it's not ok for them to play or run around their room. It's sleeping time and even if they don't sleep right away, they need to lay down in bed. I also used a video monitor. Maybe borrow one? As soon as you see her getting out, march her right back in. I think the sooner you make the correction, (vs. waiting till they come downstairs) the less fun it is for them and they change it sooner. Just my opinion. Worked for 2 so far.
ReplyDeleteMy good friend had this problem, right after their son turned 2 and had started wandering downstairs at night. - they switched to a toddler bed and switched the doorknob to be able to lock him in his room. They only did it for a month or two until he got used to sleeping through the night again without wandering. In the morning he'd knock on the door when he was awake and sing 'knock knock mama, knock knock dada' He didn't seem bothered by the lock and now will play or read in his room if he does wake up before morning.
ReplyDeleteWe also switched our boys to actual beds once they started climbing out of the crib. We also would leave the door open, but put a baby gate across the opening. There was a lot of going back upstairs to help settle them when we heard them jumping around or if they were crying, but it eventually worked. We both wanted the gate up just for safety more than trying to be in control of the situation, as our eldest was a wanderer at night and it was a scary though that he could just let himself outside or turn something on while we were sleeping!
ReplyDeleteWe moved both our kids to montessori-style floor beds around 8-10 months. My oldest started coming out of his room around 2 years old and we ended up putting a child proof knob cover on the inside of his door and explaining that he needed to stay in his room during the night and nap times. He never had a problem. Now that he's 3 and able to use the bathroom all by himself I took it off and explained that during nap and night time he had to stay in his room but can come out ONLY if he needs to go potty. So far we haven't had a problem.
ReplyDeleteWith our two year old, who used to come down multiple times in the evening, we started making our expectations very clear, and part of her bed time routine. We do story, prayer, and songs, and then I tell her, "Now it is time to stay in your bed. If you get out of bed, I will put you back. If you get out again, it will be time out. Do you want me to check on you in a little while?" She really likes the idea of being checked on, and now usually stays in bed (or at least in the room). We got rid of the crib as soon as she started climbing. If it isn't keeping her in anyway, why risk a fall?
ReplyDeleteNow, if anyone has suggestions about how to get two kids to go to sleep in the same room at the same time, I am all ears!
'checking in' helped us too. I usually take a shower after putting the girls down, so I ask them if they want me to check on them after my shower. They are usually both asleep by then, but sometimes they see me check in, and then they just go to sleep.
DeleteWe kept our crib, but made it easier for her to get out. She still falls out of a regular bed if she sleeps in it, which is why we kept the crib. I sat on the floor outside her room and every time she climbed out I would put her back in without talking to her. Over and over. It was a hard week, but she eventually understood she had to stay in. Because all my children sleep in the same room, I let the older girls have a "sleepover" for a week in our toy room until we had figured it out. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteWe have four kids and definitely have had the issues of kids not staying in their beds. Interesting, when we went through adoption education (our third was adopted from Ethiopia) we learned that up until age 7 or so, it's normal (expected) for kids to come out of bed to sleep with their parents. In fact, them not doing so can be a sign of attachment issues in the child. To me, this makes sense given it's been a biological imperative for children to sleep near their parents for most of human history. We've had lots of success using the sibling bed and also a "nest" in our room - a mattress or sleeping bag or even chair (it's changed with time). The rule was they had to be as quiet as a mouse when they come in and not wake us and they really don't wake us. We've had times when they slept in our room a lot but they do grow out of it and as long as they don't wake me, I don't mind.
ReplyDeleteI think it's tough for kids to be dethroned as the baby of the family and so it's a time to be particularly gentle with them and their need for closeness at night.
For us, the climbing out happens for the first few hours when we've just put her to bed until about 10pm. So she's not sleeping and then waking up in the middle of the night, she's just having a party and not going to sleep period! And we're not in bed, so she's not trying to come in with us.
DeleteI think we're going to do a bed on the floor + childproof knob cover.
That's exactly what our problem was and exactly what we did. Worked like a charm. Fwiw we had tried just putting him back in bed (including one night where I sat outside his door and did it 9 times in one hour!) but nothing else worked. He did cry a little the first time he discovered the locked door (I'd explained it but he wasn't even 2 yet so not sure on the comprehension) but I opened the door right away, hugged him, explained it again and put him back in bed and then he went to sleep.
DeleteWhen my son was 18 months old he started climbing out of his crib. The first time, we assumed it was a fluke. The 2nd time, we knew it wasn't, and he got a bruise on his head that could have been a lot worse. We looked at a lot of options, but I finally decided that I just had to teach him to stay in his bed.
ReplyDeleteI sat in the rocker, across the room from him. I was very still and did not look at him once I'd put him to bed. He laid down and then I sat down and got still. Almost immediately he popped up and tried to climb out. I got up and laid him down without saying anything or looking at him. We did that for an hour. He was pretty frustrated, but I was persistent. If he tried to climb out, I put him down. The second night it only took about 45 minutes and the third may have been 10 or 15. After that he never tried to climb out again, even when i converted his bed to a toddler bed about two weeks later. He could have just gotten out of bed, but he never did.
Once my oldest started being able to climb out of her crib we converted it to a toddler bed. I didn't want to risk her hurting herself. Then after the first time she left her room without me knowing (I forgot to turn on the monitor.) I placed a child proof doorknob cover on the inside of her door. When she is ready to leave her room in the morning she calls out to me over the monitor and/ or knocks on the door until I come open it. I felt it was necessary because she can open the locks on our front door and I worried she might try to go outside by herself. Also she crawls over the gate in the kitchen doorway and I don't want her getting into food unsupervised either.
ReplyDeleteFor us, putting a child door knob cover on the inside doorknob did the trick. I think it was a whopping $2, and we loved it! My son would just give up on trying to come out and either fall asleep or have quiet time reading his books or playing with the toys in his bedroom. It worked great for us as he transitioned out of nap time because he got a nap on the days he really needed it and on the days he didn't he had some quiet time to play and unwind from whatever craziness he'd been up to all day. If he didn't fall asleep, I'd always let him out after an hour.
ReplyDeleteI used child proof doorknob covers on the inside of my boys doors. I have always closed their doors at night, so it was not something new that they had to worry about or get used to.
ReplyDeleteI have been cutting naps shorter for my 2 year old -- makes going to bed a bit easier. He was napping 2+ hours/day and then making bedtime quite difficult! I shortened nap to 1 to 1 1/2 hours, depending on our activity level for the day, and it gave me some afternoon quiet time and made going to bed SO much easier!
For my 3 year old, he still has quiet time for an hour - reading books, watching a quiet show, etc - sometimes he falls asleep, sometimes not. Still makes going to bed so much easier, especially when the 2 & 3 year old who share a room and like to "party" until 9:30 or 10 PM after good naps that day, yikes!
My daughter learned how to climb out right after she turned 2. She would party in the middle of the night, though, not just at the beginning, and it would be supremely unsafe to give the daredevil run of the house when the adults are sleeping. We put her in a trundle bed (so practically on the floor) and put a doorknob cover on the inside of the door. It's worked out well, though sometimes I panic when I come into her room and she's not in the bed in the morning (because she's made herself a nest in the closet or behind the chair). We don't have a monitor, but I know she wakes up sometimes in the middle of the night and plays and then gets back in bed.
ReplyDeleteWhen my we switched my oldest to a twin mattress on the floor the baby gate at the door kept her from leaving the room. It was the perfect solution.
ReplyDelete