Saturday, May 10, 2014

Zari talks about cyberbullying

A conversation between me and Zari on the way home from school yesterday...

Mama, what is uploading?

Uploading is when you transfer information from your computer to the internet.

Oh. We talked about uploading and cyberbullying in school today. Do you know what that means?

Cyberbullying is when someone is mean to someone else on their computer.

Yeah, our teacher told a story about two girls who were best friends, and then they got mad at each other and they shared their passwords and they said mean things about each other. That's not right.

Did you know that sometimes adults are cyberbullies?


Yes. Did you know that there is a doctor who says mean things about me online?

Really? And she's an adult? And a doctor?


That's not good.

She says mean things about me because she doesn't think anyone should have their babies at home. She says that mamas who have their babies at home do not love them and do not care about them.

But that's silly. You love your children!

I know.

What did you say to the doctor?

I told her she was a bully and that how she was acting wasn't right.

I'm glad that you spoke up. I think you should call the police to stop her.

No, it's the law that people can say anything they like, even if it's mean. I just choose not to pay attention to mean things that people say about me.

When I am a mama I want to have my babies at home.

Well, that will be your decision. Some women decide to have their babies at home, some decide to have them in a hospital.

Yeah, like when there's something wrong with you or the baby, then you go to a hospital.

Or sometimes women just want to be in a hospital. And that's okay.

Yes, whatever they choose is right.

I would never say mean things about a mama who wants to have her baby in a hospital. I would never say she's wrong or she doesn't care about her baby or that she's a bad mama.

Yes. If a mama had her baby in a hospital, I would say "That's great! That can be a good choice!"

Yes. I liked having my babies at home because I could have my family around me, and I could do whatever I wanted to, and nobody was bossing me around. And did you know that some mamas have their babies in a birth center?

What's a birth center?

It's a special place where you go just to have a baby, but it's not in a hospital.

Oh, that's nice.


  1. I love this. What a great teaching moment!

  2. She sounds like a well-informed, smart, capable young lady. You are raising good kids; stay the course. I hope your house-finding overseas goes well.

  3. I never even thought about the fact that the "Dr" wrote about you. I don't understand why she has such a loyal following. It seems like most of them are looking for a fight all the time.

  4. I love that about children so much. We present them with these learning opportunities and these big epiphanies and they just look at us like we are being an idiot for stating the obvious. Awesome work Zari :)

  5. I love that you chatted with her about a negative experience you've had without indulging in fault finding. I also love that you talk about a variety of birth experiences as being right while underscoring the importance of researching your options. It's a refreshing way to see such an important and personal issue being discuss so. Thank you.


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