Dio's two top teeth are coming in. We've noticed an increase in crankiness over the past few days, while the teeth are just cutting through the skin. It's the top teeth that make nursing less comfortable for me. One of those markers that infancy is coming to an end.
Dio is almost crawling (and how long have we been saying that?). Now he'll get up into a crawling position, rock back and forth, then plop back down on his stomach. Pretty soon he'll figure out the forward movement part and he'll be off! He likes to stand and cruise the furniture and walk around holding our hands, so I don't think he'll crawl for long. Zari was exactly the same way: crawled at 8 months and walked at 10.
Zari is now nursing once every other day or so. She'd happily nurse a lot more if I offered, but I don't. Eric has just started putting her to bed every other night. His original plan was to put her to bed every night but it kind of devolved into us trading off every othernight. I still let Zari nurse as part of our bedtime routine. She only nurses for a minute or so before I take her off. I count to 10 to signal it's time to stop. Eric has been pushing me to wean her. He's feeling that she's getting too old to nurse and that she's overly attached to me (and that the nursing is the root of the attachment). I think that the attachment is more rooted in the fact that I'm the primary caregiver during the day. To me, the nursing is less the cause of the attachment than just a manifestation of it. Weaning just seems so final and abrupt. I know that Zari would be very upset if I told her she was done nursing. On the other hand, she doesn't nurse all that much anyway. I limit how long she can nurse, because if I didn't, she'd just keep going for who knows how long, and it's not that comfortable with a mouth full of teeth and a lazy toddler latch. I fully admit that both Zari and I are still emotionally attached to nursing. For me, it's the last part of what used to be an inseparable physical relationship. So the thought of weaning is a big deal and I don't know if I'm emotionally ready for it yet. I don't know if I'm ready to let go yet.
Just wanted to say I totally sympathize with your feelings about nursing Zari! My son is a bit younger (2.5) but I am pregnant with #2 and man there are a lot of days I just do not feel like dealing with the teeth and the bad latch! It would be different if he would nurse nice! But he is not ready to be done, and neither am I really. I keep reminding myself that they are really programmed to want to nurse until they are at least 3 or 4... wow that is a long time away! Good luck! Once every other day actually sounds pretty doable!
ReplyDeleteJust wanted to say that I understand how you feel. My daughter is 28 months and neither her nor I are ready to wean. My husband was ready for us to be done yesterday, but accepts that it is my decision. Sometimes, I get frustrated, but, most of the time, I absolutely love breastfeeding. Now that we are considering remaining a family of three, I want to stop nursing even less! We will do child-lead weaning. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteSomething I read once that made a big impression on me was something like this: "Some women say that they regret weaning so soon, but I've never met a woman who wishes she'd weaned sooner."
ReplyDeleteI had hoped to nurse my oldest son for a year and then one day, that seemed to sneak up on us, I realized he had weaned. He was four-and-a-half.
ReplyDeleteThis is my first experience tandem nursing and it is not nearly as enjoyable as nursing a single baby, but I would never think of weaning a child to avoid tandem nursing. They both have teeth now, so I might reconsider!
As for crawling, my last two have crawled at four months which absolutely shocks me. However, my toddler didn't walk until eleven months. We'll see when little Simon takes his first steps. He was pulling himself up within a week of crawling. Starting life at 10 pounds surely helps this advancement though!
Blessings to you!
I'd never heard someone else say 'lazy toddler latch' before, (I don't know anyone else who does child led weaning IRL though) but I assume it's pretty normal? My girl has a lazy latch, but I guess I'd assumed it was just her.
ReplyDeleteI am due with my 2nd in 2 weeks time, with my 19mth old latching on for literally 5 or so sucks, then running away; maybe every couple of days. Everyone encouraged me to wean her before this one was born, but as my milk dried up when she was 13mths, I feel she was really short-changed and want to keep going. I've really missed the cuddles since she's gotten really ambivalent about nursing this last month. I started out not wanting to tandem nurse, but I would be heart-broken if she weaned now. The rest of my family- not so heart-broken I believe!
Oh, my little boy has a lazy toddler latch, too! And, I am pregnant with our second, and I think that makes it even more uncomfortable. He is twenty months old, and I always wonder if he is still way too young to wean. But, there are definitely days that I want to wean him. (And then there are days when I know neither of us are ready!) Good luck!
ReplyDeleteI don't want to stop with Rachel either. Granted, she only nurses once or twice a day, but sometimes it calms her in a way nothing else will. Besides, I will really miss it when it's gone because I KNOW she's my last, and I'm just not ready to done with that part of my life yet. I love how she snuggles close, pinches my nose, and pats my chest while she nurses away. At this point, it's nearly the last vestige of babyhood left.
ReplyDeleteMy daughter is only a couple weeks younger than Zari and she is very attached to me. We stopped nursing when she was 11 months old, so it's been well over 2 years. But her attachment to me has intensified in the past few months. So Zari is not alone! We also had a baby boy this past year (he's almost 7 months) and starting Sunbeams has added to her need to be with me.
ReplyDeleteI vote that Zari's b/f is a symptom, rather than a cause, of the attachment. My younger son nursed until I weaned him at 22 m/o, and he didn't get any less attached, except that he was not nursing -- still wanted to be held and cuddled as much, if not more. He's now 3.5 and actually seems to be more a mama's boy than ever.
ReplyDelete-Kathy
My ds1 is just about the same age as Zari (11/28/06), and we're at the same stage of our nursing relationship. He'll sometimes go a day or two, and once three, between nurses. It is really only an injury or stress thing now for him. Even though he doesn't need it the same way my ds2 does, I can't imagine just cutting him off. It is one of the very last remnants of his babyhood to me. It certainly isn't comfortable (he has a terrible latch), but I think I would regret weaning now. Sometimes i feel ready to close the chapter, and other times I can't bear to let go yet...
ReplyDeleteMy son is just about 16 months old, and still nurses on demand. I am home with him all day, and I too, am getting the nudge from my husband to try to wean. I am going to be watching my sister-in-laws newborn in a few weeks, and the whole family keeps telling me it will be impossible to both nurse and watch someone elses baby. I feel for you on the emotional attachment. I love watching our little man as he suckles to sleep and the way he holds on to me as he nurses. I know he is way younger than Zari, but I can't even imagine stopping. I hope you feel good about whatever decision you make.
ReplyDelete"Too old to nurse" is probably true for most Americans, but if you don't mind being atypical, who cares? I have a 27 month old who is still nursing, so I have certainly asked myself these questions too. As far as developing independence from mom goes, if indeed this is a concern, how about adding a couple of days of preschool?
ReplyDeleteDont wean Zari. Im not gonna beat around the bush with this. Nurse her all up as much as you can. She just turned three. She is little and it would be completely sad and unnatural if she werent "attached" to her mother whom she spends all her days with. She is amazing and you know it. Dont send her to any gross preschool with a bunch of snot nosed materialistic brats, either. Please. I speak as her "Auntie" in Michigan, but I care alot about her and Dio and you.
ReplyDeleteAll that being said, my 2 youngest are nursing still. 4 years old and 19 months. All my older kids self weaned just shy of 5. Never wouldve imagined it in my wildest dreams, but guess what? Literally nobody knew I nursed them that long besides my husband. I wasnt ashamed or isolated, far from it! They usually did not ask when we were out--too busy! And if they did get a booboo or got super tired and started to even look like they were gonna say "Im nurseeeeee" I would just hug them and say something quietly in their ear to either distract them or just flat-out "We can have nursie tonight at bedtime, sweetie".
No regrets! Let sweet Zari nurse! Who is she suppossed to ba attched to, some tv character or some $7 an hour daycare chick? Pffft!
And my new baby--lol--19 months nurses all the time. But the 4 year old even though he might want to, gets to at bedtime and naptime and here and there....: )
love you guys!