Technically, I'm just 40.4 weeks by ovulation/conception dates...but I thought I'd stick with my pattern of using LMP and posting on Tuesdays.
My belly feels like it's going to burst open. There's so much pressure everywhere that I can only walk at a leisurely amble. I set off intending to go at a nice clip, but I literally cannot! I've been having lots of crampy contractions over the past few weeks, definitely stronger than the normal practice contractions you have throughout pregnancy. I think the baby might have turned anterior, because tonight it feels like one smooth back all along my belly, and the movements are much more muted. I should give it a listen with my fetoscope; for me, that's the most accurate way to pin down where the baby is.
It's funny--no, it's NOT funny--how all of our careful plans for the birth of this baby and for my postpartum support have fallen apart. I was supposed to have around 3 straight weeks of help from my mom and then my mother-in-law. And the baby would be a few weeks old by time Eric left on his immersion trip...
Now, we're facing a dramatic upheaval in plans. My mother-in-law flies in from Alberta in less than two days, and still no baby in sight. Eric has lined up replacements for his trip, as it is pretty obvious at this point that he will not be going. Then, after his mom leaves, my mom won't be able to come until late March, leaving me with no postpartum help for a two-week period. Yikes!
I do have a wonderful circle of friends in town who repeatedly remind me that they are here for me, that they will take my children, bring me meals, do whatever it takes to support me during this time. I am so grateful for them. Now my job is to not try to do everything on my own, but to ask for and accept their help.
I never, ever imagined the possibility of still being pregnant and hosting my MIL. Now, don't get me wrong--I really, really like her. But I do not want anyone in my space until after the baby is here and especially when I am in labor! It's nothing against my MIL; I'd feel the same way with my mom and my own sisters. I am really protective of my space until the baby is born. So I am lining up friends who can host my MIL while I am laboring, if the baby doesn't arrive by tomorrow.
Besides these concerns--and of course the normal questions that arise unbidden in my mind: "what's up with this baby? why is it taking so long? at what point should I start to worry?"--I feel a deep sense of peace and calm. Poor Eric, on the other hand, has practically given himself an ulcer. He says he's been wound up so tight the last week or two that he feels like he's going to break. He keeps asking me, "are you sure you don't want to try walking/sex/spicy food/etc to see if it will bring labor on?" Now, I'm all about those things and more, but only for the sheer pleasure of doing them. Not to try to induce labor. If I'm going to take a walk, it's because I want to go outside and enjoy the fresh air. That's it. No ulterior motives. No wearing myself out trying yet another anecdotal method of inducing labor and driving myself crazy in the meantime.
Here's me, slightly disheveled after a brief morning nap (thanks to my friends who watched the kids!):
|41 weeks from LMP/40.4 weeks from ovulation|