Sunday, March 18, 2012

Weird search terms

Over the past few weeks, I've complied a list of the weirder search terms people use to find this blog. The most common "normal" search terms are things you'd expect: what does giving birth feel like, breech birth, pregnant belly photos, etc.

Now onto the strange/funny ones. There are a lot of questions regarding poop and/or butts as they relate to childbirth.
  • when constipated does passing a stool feel like child birth
  • i feel like i have to poop, is that the babies head
  • pooping while giving birth
  • im birthing a child from my a$$

Odd things in the vagina...
  • can a baby push down so much that it will be born premature?
  • 31 week fetus head felt bulging in perineum
  • is it normal to feel da baby move and something warm in my vagina area
  • letting my child to play with my vagina

Other pregnancy & birth-related sensations
  • labour feeling of bowling
  • giving birth feels like you're dying
  • why does childbirth burn
  • what does my baby feel when i orgasm 

This falls into the "I really don't want to click on your search results" category
  • lactation lust

  • flexible Japanese babe
  • sensual armwrestling

Good idea:
  • effect of epitocyn on the baby (We now offer epidurals and Pitocin in one convenient injection, the "Epitocyn")

Bad idea:
  • Successfully self inducing at 35 weeks

  • placenta phasia 
  • stand and dilver (wanna dilver with me?)

These made me laugh:
  • Pregnant women getting caught eating while in labor
  • ridiculous birth plans (flattered to be #1 in google search for this one!)
  • how 2 deliver d baby (#1: stop texting)
  • closest feeling to labor for a guy
  • why do i feel like i need a baby (I don't know, why do you?)

And my all-time favorite from a while back:
  • can a vagina pickle a cucumber?


  1. Wait...CAN a vagina pickle a cucumber??

  2. OH MY GOODNESS. These absolutely cracked me up! Too funny! (And just weird. And gross.)

  3. I think "phasia" was supposed to be "phagia" as in eating.

  4. So, CAN my vagina pickle a cucumber? Google seems to think you have the answer Rixa, please don't hold out. Burning question!

  5. This is entirely unrelated, but I thought you might like a look at the article about "gentle" c-sections.

  6. I have not laughed so hard in a long time. Epitocyn?

  7. I did this once with my website. Someone had found me by googling "How do we make our fish give birth?" ??? Why would someone want to make their fish give birth? And actually, since it said "we" that means there were at least two people embarked on this project. :)

  8. This post is hysterical. Also, you're now the #1 result for sensual armwrestling, and I still don't know what it is, unless it's about beefy guys. There's also a chick and a robot arm wrestling, which I guess is pretty cool.

  9. wow great i have read many articles about this topic and everytimei learn something new i dont think it will ever stop always new info , Thanks for all of your hard work!

  10. "Letting my child to play with my vagina"??? Sounds like someone's looking for some Japanese porn fetish. I have compiled a list of phrases that don't appear anywhere on Google (or didn't until I posted them). Here are some samples:


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