I'm feeling good (aside from the emotional anxiety over the baby's presentation, or rather about the practical ramifications of a non-vertex presentation). I am usually a very calm, level, rational person not prone to worrying about things, and I have to say this pregnancy has been quite a challenge for me in that regard. My last pregnancy was so joyful and peaceful and this one has been one set of worries after another, to the point that I feel it's been stealing away the enjoyment of being pregnant and the anticipation of having another baby. Is it because I'm not doing it unassisted this time around? I know some UCers might suggest that, but I am hesitant to adhere to that simplistic explanation. I would really like to just enjoy the moment but it seems those moments have been all too brief.
I wrote that last part, and then I just got off the phone with my midwife and feel a million times better. I told her all about my recent worries about breech I've written about here and how all of the stuff I know--everything I've told other women when I've been on the other side of the fence--still isn't making it any easier for me. She reassured me that yes, it really is too early to fret about it and that there are a lot of resources and options if, worst case scenario, the baby is persistently breech at term. She's attended a lot of breech births herself, but just not as a primary midwife. There's a great chiropractor who specializes in pregnancy & the Webster technique who I can see if, in a few weeks, baby is still heads-up. The chiro is at least an hour away, so I really hope I won't have to do that--but she's had fantastic success with getting babies to turn. My midwife also says there are a lot of options for breech birth that she knows about--there are one or two physicians who still attend breeches and many more supportive/sympathetic ones that she knows, there's a doctor who is great at doing versions, there's the option of inviting another experienced midwife to come up and assist, or even of traveling down with me to The Farm, etc. In any case, she reassured me that she is totally committed to making sure I'm not having to face a last-minute panicked scramble and that she has a lot of resources that she didn't know about when, four years ago, she had a breech baby and was dropped by her midwives at the last minute.
I'm glad I called. I'm trying hard to open up more and accept help or reassurance when I need it. I'm usually so independent that it's a bit strange to be on the receiving end, and to be okay with feeling vulnerable and letting other people care about me.
I think your posts about your fears and concerns are among your best, or at least your most helpful. I think many people (including me a few years ago) would be surprised to hear that a "u.c.'er" is exploring all these options and resources, both of experts and book learnin' to prepare for a birth.
ReplyDeleteI had a minor panic when I was 30 weeks and thought my baby was breech. I can totally relate.
ReplyDelete(Also, I am just a teensy bit starstruck... driving down to The Farm? Sounds so cool! ;))
in lot of ways I think it's just easier not to worry with the first one. why? I don't know. maybe b/c you haven't had a little one in your arms before - one that was yours. and maybe you don't quite realize how incredibly responsible you are for this individual you have until you have one like you do now.
ReplyDeleteat least that is how it is for me. and now I know so much more than I did with my last. and perhaps b/c of being a doula for a long time too... I've seen too much. and it's hard for me to believe in the medical system at all - whatsoever - and i find myself quite panicked at the thought of having to ever use it. SO now? I worry about breech, and preterm labour and all sorts of things like never before. and yet? I am SO much more responsible with this pregnancy than ever before.
(take or leave whatever does or does not apply to you from this rambling comment)
This is very late, but I just wrote a blog post to thank you for your beautiful gift. I love the sling you made for me. Thank you for your kind workmanship. My baby daughter and I are enjoying it almost every day.
ReplyDeleteGod bless. I hope maybe I can spread a little awareness of your store or maybe even get you a little business through my post.
I hope your pregnancy goes well. I worried all the way through mine. My midwife was wonderful about helping me deal with each new thing that came up and finding peace with it. I really felt calm and ready when I went into labor. But, you can read my birth story on my blog, if you are interested. I think I may have a few more issues to deal with next time!
Thanks again.
-Andrea
I can't say enough good things about Spinning Babies. Since I took the work shop almost 4 years ago I have successfully helped 4 women turn their babies. *all via long distance doulaing* and there are some hands on techniques that I have yet to be able to try!
ReplyDeleteYou know I felt his way with my 2nd also.
ReplyDeleteFor me I think it's partly that I know what I stand to loose if any nebulous horrible thing were to happen. Before it was all kind of...out there; motherhood was an idea, not a reality yet. Now I know exactly what I'm getting in to and I know how heavy the responsibility is.
Yes, I definitely think that it being pregnancy #2 plays a factor in my increased worry level, as Lauramamadoula and Rebekah commented.
ReplyDeleteAndrea, I am glad you're enjoying the sling!
you have a lot more room in that uterus of yours this time around. Baby will get situated in the right position.
ReplyDeleteJust keep visualizing head down, facing your back, chin to chest. =)
Rixa, it really is too early. Baby will turn when it's time, unless it's safer for him/her not to.
ReplyDeleteOh, I'm so glad that you are feeling better. Your midwife sounds like a wonderful woman to work with!
ReplyDeleteI totally understand your worries about baby #2. I went through the same thing. I had to finally go and get an ultrasound just to give me peace of mind. I think most of it is that your reality has changed. You know what it is to love a child. It's not just an abstract concept like it was with your first.
ReplyDeleteI just stumbled upon your blog and had to post. My second son was breech as of 32 weeks. He turned, head down and in perfect position by 34 weeks. I was surprised!
ReplyDeleteI'm surprised to not see you mention www.spinningbabies.com. I hear it recommended all the time for breech babies, to try to get them to turn.
ReplyDeleteRemember, what you fear, you create. What you focus on, expands.
Birth at the The Farm? Wow. That would be cool; in some ways!
Congratulations on your pregnancy, dont worry about things, you need to relax, im sure everythings fine. you look amazing in that photo! Im 32 weeks pregnant myself with my first little boy, very exciting! As I work with Bounty I've been following my stages online, as its my first pregnancy so its all new to me! Here is whats going on at 30 weeks http://www.bounty.com/pregnancy/30-weeks-pregnant.aspx which is where you are! Its so amazing isnt it. Anyway, best of luck to you for the rest of the pregnancy! xxx
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