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| Postpartum belly 2 weeks after giving birth |
And some Inga cuteness...
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Sad family
Yesterday I found this drawing on our kitchen counter.
I asked Zari to tell me about it. She pointed to each person and said that they were sad. Mama was sad because she had to ask Zari to get dressed too many times and she was frustrated. Zari was sad because she didn't listen to Mama. etc...
She definitely needs more positive interaction. Poor girl...
Read more ...
I asked Zari to tell me about it. She pointed to each person and said that they were sad. Mama was sad because she had to ask Zari to get dressed too many times and she was frustrated. Zari was sad because she didn't listen to Mama. etc...
She definitely needs more positive interaction. Poor girl...
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
The babymoon is over
Eric's mom left on Sunday, and Eric's classes resumed yesterday. The babymoon is definitely over. Inga doesn't like being put down, so yesterday morning I had to hold her and get the two other children fed, dressed, teeth brushed, coats on, and out the door to the indoor track. Not my idea of fun. I was going to leave the kids at the track with my friends and have some quiet time at home the rest of the morning. But once I got there, I decided I might as well stay and talk. This morning Eric took the kids to the track. I managed to get Inga to nap on the bed while I sewed four slings.
Getting the kids dressed--Zari especially--is a huge stress for me. I've asked Eric to take over that task before he leaves for work. Zari has been acting up a lot since Inga was born. I'd expected that Dio would be the one with adjustment issues this time around, but he's taken everything in stride. He does ask to nurse more often--I don't blame him, now that there's milk in abundance!--but otherwise he's his same goofy self. Zari, on the other hand, has been really obstinate, disobedient, contrary, and temperamental. As a result, she's been getting way too much negative attention from us. I can tell this has been affecting her. It would bother me, too, if I were always being reprimanded or scolded or told that I was doing something wrong. So I'm trying to figure out how to meet her needs for emotional connection, affection, and positive interaction, when I'm already feeling emotionally overstretched taking care of an infant.
Inga has been really fussy the past few days. I suspect it's due to pain from a plugged duct under her left nipple. (Did you know that infant girls will sometimes produce small amounts of breastmilk due to maternal hormones?) It's red and hard as a rock, and she screams when I touch it. Poor girl. I hope it goes away soon.
On the up side, I've been sleeping wonderfully. I don't have to sit up or even work to latch Inga on at night, other than turning her onto her side and opening my shirt. We both sleep really well with her in the crook of my arm. She will even sleep on her back as long as she's making body contact with me, and my sleep feels very restful between nursing sessions. By the way, someone asked about sleeping with babies in this position. I don't ever put her on top of my arm. Instead, she lies on the bed and her head is basically in my armpit. I wrap the blankets around my other arm, which keeps them well away from her head.
I have a few disposable diapers left over that I've been using at night. I have to admit that I like using disposables at night! I'm a bit tempted to buy more just for nights; after all, it's just one diaper per day. Or I could sew some newborn-sized pocket diapers. I'd have to change those probably once during the night. Not as bad as my cloth AIOs that need changing every 2-3 hours tops, but the lure of disposables for nights is pretty hard to resist...
I'm looking forward to my second babymoon at the end of this month when my mom comes out to visit.
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Read more ...
Getting the kids dressed--Zari especially--is a huge stress for me. I've asked Eric to take over that task before he leaves for work. Zari has been acting up a lot since Inga was born. I'd expected that Dio would be the one with adjustment issues this time around, but he's taken everything in stride. He does ask to nurse more often--I don't blame him, now that there's milk in abundance!--but otherwise he's his same goofy self. Zari, on the other hand, has been really obstinate, disobedient, contrary, and temperamental. As a result, she's been getting way too much negative attention from us. I can tell this has been affecting her. It would bother me, too, if I were always being reprimanded or scolded or told that I was doing something wrong. So I'm trying to figure out how to meet her needs for emotional connection, affection, and positive interaction, when I'm already feeling emotionally overstretched taking care of an infant.
Inga has been really fussy the past few days. I suspect it's due to pain from a plugged duct under her left nipple. (Did you know that infant girls will sometimes produce small amounts of breastmilk due to maternal hormones?) It's red and hard as a rock, and she screams when I touch it. Poor girl. I hope it goes away soon.
On the up side, I've been sleeping wonderfully. I don't have to sit up or even work to latch Inga on at night, other than turning her onto her side and opening my shirt. We both sleep really well with her in the crook of my arm. She will even sleep on her back as long as she's making body contact with me, and my sleep feels very restful between nursing sessions. By the way, someone asked about sleeping with babies in this position. I don't ever put her on top of my arm. Instead, she lies on the bed and her head is basically in my armpit. I wrap the blankets around my other arm, which keeps them well away from her head.
I have a few disposable diapers left over that I've been using at night. I have to admit that I like using disposables at night! I'm a bit tempted to buy more just for nights; after all, it's just one diaper per day. Or I could sew some newborn-sized pocket diapers. I'd have to change those probably once during the night. Not as bad as my cloth AIOs that need changing every 2-3 hours tops, but the lure of disposables for nights is pretty hard to resist...
I'm looking forward to my second babymoon at the end of this month when my mom comes out to visit.
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Sunday, March 13, 2011
A Giveaway of Gratitude
I am full of gratitude for the blessing of Inga's pregnancy and birth. Thankful that she made it here safely. Thankful that she was born healthy and strong. Grateful for access to skilled midwives and to hospital services if needed. Grateful for the simple but essential things that keep us healthy: clean drinking water, sanitation, and fresh, plentiful food.
I would like to invite you to share in my thanksgiving by making a donation to a nonprofit maternal/child health organization of your choice. To entice you to participate, I am thrilled to offer three fantastic giveaway prizes!
Prize #1: $55 online gift certificate to CSN Stores
With over 2 million products, from swing sets for kids to baby gear to kitchen appliances, CSN Stores is sure to have something you want!
Prize #2: Daisy Ribbons Package ($34 value)
Inspired by garden plants and animals, Daisy Ribbons creates beautiful hair accessories. From calla lilies to zinnias, butterflies to bumblebees, Daisy Ribbons bows are sure to please. The Small Package includes four of the most popular bows.
Prize #3: Silk Sling from Second Womb Slings ($60 value)
Turn heads with this iridescent pintucked silk dupioni sling from Second Womb Slings. Woven with scarlet and midnight blue cross threads, the silk appears to change color from plum to burgundy. The fabric features delicate pintucking and decorative top stitching.
Contest Rules:
Until the silk runs out...
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Read more ...
I would like to invite you to share in my thanksgiving by making a donation to a nonprofit maternal/child health organization of your choice. To entice you to participate, I am thrilled to offer three fantastic giveaway prizes!
Prize #1: $55 online gift certificate to CSN Stores
With over 2 million products, from swing sets for kids to baby gear to kitchen appliances, CSN Stores is sure to have something you want!
Prize #2: Daisy Ribbons Package ($34 value)
Inspired by garden plants and animals, Daisy Ribbons creates beautiful hair accessories. From calla lilies to zinnias, butterflies to bumblebees, Daisy Ribbons bows are sure to please. The Small Package includes four of the most popular bows.
Prize #3: Silk Sling from Second Womb Slings ($60 value)
Turn heads with this iridescent pintucked silk dupioni sling from Second Womb Slings. Woven with scarlet and midnight blue cross threads, the silk appears to change color from plum to burgundy. The fabric features delicate pintucking and decorative top stitching.
Contest Rules:
- Make a minimum $15 donation to a maternal/child health nonprofit of your choice. Suggested organizations include:
- MamaBaby Haiti
- Mother Health International
- Mercy in Action
- Bumi Sehat Foundation International
- The Shanti Uganda Society
- LDS Philantropies' Neonatal Resuscitation training and clean water programs
- Email me the donation amount and organization
- One prize will go to the person who makes the largest donation. The other two prizes will be chosen randomly from anyone who makes an eligible donation. (Daisy Ribbons and CSN gift certificate for US & Canadian residents only; silk sling can ship internationally.)
- Contest ends Sunday, March 27 at 5 pm EST
- Double giveaway entries for donations made by Sunday, March 20
Until the silk runs out...
.
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Got cloth?
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| 9 days old |
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Postpartum belly: 6 days after
I stopped taking belly pictures after day 6, since Eric is out of town. He ended up going on the last half of his immersion trip to the US Virgin Islands. It felt like a good compromise; we've settled into a routine and Eric's mom has figured out how to get the kids to bed, where everything is in town, etc. He phoned me this evening to say the weather is lovely and the snorkeling fantastic. Lucky him!
I've gone through an obscenely large pile of books over the past few weeks. Basically all I do during the day is take pictures, blog, eat dark chocolate, nurse, and read with Inga lying on my chest. And sometimes take long baths in the evenings. I wish there were a way to slow time down. I know from having had two other children that this newborn stage passes so quickly. As much as you try to capture these moments in your memory, you forget so much.
Inga is a calm, snuggly, content baby. As long as she is on my chest or in the sling, she is the happiest thing ever. It's made nights a bit tricky because she does not like lying on her back or being swaddled. She's been sleeping on my chest or in the crook of my arm most of the time. She's so strong that she wiggled herself out of her swaddling blankets when she was just a day old! But being strong and coordinated also has its advantages. She can latch herself on in the dark with pretty much no help from me--something my other kids couldn't do until they were at least a month or two old.
I switched over to cloth diapers yesterday, but it's been so overcast and gloomy outside that I haven't taken the obligatory picture with her Canadian diapers. Maybe tomorrow. I feel like I'm coming down with something, so it's off to bed for me.
Read more ...
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| 6 days after giving birth |
I've gone through an obscenely large pile of books over the past few weeks. Basically all I do during the day is take pictures, blog, eat dark chocolate, nurse, and read with Inga lying on my chest. And sometimes take long baths in the evenings. I wish there were a way to slow time down. I know from having had two other children that this newborn stage passes so quickly. As much as you try to capture these moments in your memory, you forget so much.
Inga is a calm, snuggly, content baby. As long as she is on my chest or in the sling, she is the happiest thing ever. It's made nights a bit tricky because she does not like lying on her back or being swaddled. She's been sleeping on my chest or in the crook of my arm most of the time. She's so strong that she wiggled herself out of her swaddling blankets when she was just a day old! But being strong and coordinated also has its advantages. She can latch herself on in the dark with pretty much no help from me--something my other kids couldn't do until they were at least a month or two old.
I switched over to cloth diapers yesterday, but it's been so overcast and gloomy outside that I haven't taken the obligatory picture with her Canadian diapers. Maybe tomorrow. I feel like I'm coming down with something, so it's off to bed for me.
Final reflections
To close the chapter on neonatal resuscitation, I wanted to share some final thoughts. I am still surprised that Inga's birth story took the turn it did. I never expected so much focus would fall on the mouth-to-mouth and so little on the rest of the birth! But that's the nature of writing and sharing our stories on the internet. We can choose the words and images but not the meaning that they take on once they are released "into the wild," so to speak.
To me, the two minutes where I assisted Inga in taking her first breaths were just that--two minutes, over and done with, and I moved on. They didn't dominate the birth experience (as they have the comments on this blog!).
I feel no need to create a tidy take-away lesson from my experience. I did not post Inga's birth story to advance an agenda or to teach about neonatal resuscitation. I simply wanted to share my experience of labor and birth with people I care about, and with those who care about me and my family, even if we don't know each other personally.
With those thoughts, I wanted to share these words from Tatiana of the Becoming Midwives blog (reposted with her permission).
There is just this: an unplanned unassisted (but planned home birth) to a mother who, when her baby grew limp and breathless moments after her birth had the resuscitation training to calmly position her, breathe into her mouth, and repeat until her little arms curled up, she sputtered, and she cried. When I first watched the baby's arms grow limp, even though I anticipated it, having read the word "resuscitation" in Rixa's post, I panicked. My own baby was nursing to sleep as I watched this and I startled harshly enough that he pulled back, opened his eyes and looked at me, surprised. As I watched the baby grow dangly, I said to the screen, "No, no."
That was the first pit of the last 20 minutes, that full-body rejection of the sight of an unbreathing baby. (Qualifier: I am a mom with a still-young baby and some unresolved junk around his birth - I know I have no business bringing all of that to anyone's birth, and I am not attending births. But I'm allowed to watch youtube.)
And then, as I watched the aftermath, mama settling into the tub, baby squirming in the normal fashion, the bustling attendant arriving and then being asked to leave, and the new baby girl seeming fine, I filled with joyful exuberance. That this one precious, tender, incredibly sensitive new little person could be born needing help and receiving that help from her mother in the warm safety of a tub is a transcendently beautiful departure of what neonatal resuscitation normally looks like. Nothing jarring, nothing painful or invasive, nothing panicked, nothing even as upset as my own response watching on a screen so many miles away. No, just family, breath appropriately applied, and the rolling of time into life here among us other breathing people. I felt buoyant and celebratory.
But now I'm sad again. Because this exemplifies what Adrienne Rich said. I believe every baby is that tender, soft, new, sensitive and deserving of such gentleness. Especially when it needs extra help. But in our world, such gentleness is not a universal right but a privilege that becomes available based on the constraints of social, cultural and demographic factors, including educational privilege and a willingness to make a choice that our culture largely regards as reckless. That is an awful lot to ask of people, who are social, dynamic beings in constant relationship and flux with the people around us, carrying with us the vestiges of that sense that certainly we can't know everything about this world, so mightn't it be wise to defer to authority?
I love Rixa's bold and unapologetic grasp on her responsibility for the choices she makes for her family. I'm so glad for her, and for that sweet baby girl who may have had the world's most tender resuscitation. I'm so glad for my own children's relatively peaceful births, and for the so many that are held in that remarkably rare spirit of reverence and respect in this slowly growing trend of gentle birthing.
But it is a bittersweet gladness, indeed, when I let myself broaden the lens to the larger world.
I wish I could summarize it all with... "And here is our clear answer."
But where? Where is our clear answer? I don't live in a world that has any of those. Not really, anyway. We like to assume the stance of certainty and conviction, but not one answer seems to stand firm against the onslaught of every possible experience, every possible shred of information, and every possible circumstance. And as much as I don't like to leave a bit of writing dangling with this feeling of conflicted joy-sad-ambiguity, it's what I have. There is no punchline.
Read more ...
To me, the two minutes where I assisted Inga in taking her first breaths were just that--two minutes, over and done with, and I moved on. They didn't dominate the birth experience (as they have the comments on this blog!).
I feel no need to create a tidy take-away lesson from my experience. I did not post Inga's birth story to advance an agenda or to teach about neonatal resuscitation. I simply wanted to share my experience of labor and birth with people I care about, and with those who care about me and my family, even if we don't know each other personally.
With those thoughts, I wanted to share these words from Tatiana of the Becoming Midwives blog (reposted with her permission).
~~~~~
I don't have a punchline
There is just this: an unplanned unassisted (but planned home birth) to a mother who, when her baby grew limp and breathless moments after her birth had the resuscitation training to calmly position her, breathe into her mouth, and repeat until her little arms curled up, she sputtered, and she cried. When I first watched the baby's arms grow limp, even though I anticipated it, having read the word "resuscitation" in Rixa's post, I panicked. My own baby was nursing to sleep as I watched this and I startled harshly enough that he pulled back, opened his eyes and looked at me, surprised. As I watched the baby grow dangly, I said to the screen, "No, no."
That was the first pit of the last 20 minutes, that full-body rejection of the sight of an unbreathing baby. (Qualifier: I am a mom with a still-young baby and some unresolved junk around his birth - I know I have no business bringing all of that to anyone's birth, and I am not attending births. But I'm allowed to watch youtube.)
And then, as I watched the aftermath, mama settling into the tub, baby squirming in the normal fashion, the bustling attendant arriving and then being asked to leave, and the new baby girl seeming fine, I filled with joyful exuberance. That this one precious, tender, incredibly sensitive new little person could be born needing help and receiving that help from her mother in the warm safety of a tub is a transcendently beautiful departure of what neonatal resuscitation normally looks like. Nothing jarring, nothing painful or invasive, nothing panicked, nothing even as upset as my own response watching on a screen so many miles away. No, just family, breath appropriately applied, and the rolling of time into life here among us other breathing people. I felt buoyant and celebratory.
But now I'm sad again. Because this exemplifies what Adrienne Rich said. I believe every baby is that tender, soft, new, sensitive and deserving of such gentleness. Especially when it needs extra help. But in our world, such gentleness is not a universal right but a privilege that becomes available based on the constraints of social, cultural and demographic factors, including educational privilege and a willingness to make a choice that our culture largely regards as reckless. That is an awful lot to ask of people, who are social, dynamic beings in constant relationship and flux with the people around us, carrying with us the vestiges of that sense that certainly we can't know everything about this world, so mightn't it be wise to defer to authority?
I love Rixa's bold and unapologetic grasp on her responsibility for the choices she makes for her family. I'm so glad for her, and for that sweet baby girl who may have had the world's most tender resuscitation. I'm so glad for my own children's relatively peaceful births, and for the so many that are held in that remarkably rare spirit of reverence and respect in this slowly growing trend of gentle birthing.
But it is a bittersweet gladness, indeed, when I let myself broaden the lens to the larger world.
I wish I could summarize it all with... "And here is our clear answer."
But where? Where is our clear answer? I don't live in a world that has any of those. Not really, anyway. We like to assume the stance of certainty and conviction, but not one answer seems to stand firm against the onslaught of every possible experience, every possible shred of information, and every possible circumstance. And as much as I don't like to leave a bit of writing dangling with this feeling of conflicted joy-sad-ambiguity, it's what I have. There is no punchline.
Wednesday, March 09, 2011
How did she fit in there?
This is how Inga used to fit inside of me, more or less. Both she and Dio loved to hang out ROT.
And lots of Inga photos because she's just too cute.
Read more ...
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| My favorite newborn shirt. It says "la tête dans les nuages" (head in the clouds). |
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| On Dio's birth quilt. |
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| Sucking her thumb for the first time |
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| Nursing yesterday...and this was AFTER the engorgement was on its way down! |
Tuesday, March 08, 2011
Neonatal resuscitation
Where/How/Why/Who
Several people have asked questions about how and where they can obtain training in neonatal resuscitation. If you're in the States, visit the AAP's NRP page. In Canada, visit the CPS' NRP page. You can find links to current NRP guidelines and search for instructors or courses.
I took my NRP course from Karen Strange, who travels all over the country teaching NRP workshops. She teaches everything required for the NRP certification and addresses how to adapt these to the realities of an out-of-hospital setting (cord usually left intact, resuscitating baby in place with a portable heated surface rather than removing baby to a warmer, etc). She's hilarious, quirky, and has a last name that totally fits her personality.
Nothing replaces actual hands-on experience gained at NRP workshops. But if there are no NRP courses near you, you can of course study on your own. Do what you can with the resources available to you. Buy or interlibrary loan the latest NRP manual. Watch videos. Read textbooks. Learn more about the fetus-to-newborn transition.
Who would benefit from taking a NRP class? Besides the obvious (midwives, physicians, nurses), I feel that doulas should also be certified in NRP. Sooner or later, most doulas will attend a precipitous birth where the mother has the baby before she can make it to the hospital, or where the midwife doesn't arrive in time at a planned home birth. In addition, I'd strongly recommend NRP for women planning a home birth or with a history of fast labors.
What about Inga's birth?
There is disagreement, even among NRP instructors and NICU/L&D nurses, about whether or not I should have done more aggressive stimulation (drying with towels, rubbing the back, etc) before proceeding to mouth-to-mouth. I am aware of the NRP flow chart (pictured below). During Inga's birth, it was clear to me that she needed mouth-to-mouth at that point, rather taking more time to get out of the tub and dry her off first. Inga was born with color and tone and then started losing it, which indicates secondary rather than primary apnea. In that case, stimulation is less likely to be effective than positive pressure ventilation (either by mouth-to-mouth or bag-and-mask).
If you read the comments on Inga's birth story, part 2, you'll see a conversation going on among L&D/NICU nurses and NRP providers about whether I should have done more stimulation before proceeding to PPV. Some suggested doing a bit more stimulation/clearing the airway, while others felt that moving to mouth-to-mouth at that point was most appropriate. For example, Sarah, a NICU nurse, explained:
.
Read more ...
Several people have asked questions about how and where they can obtain training in neonatal resuscitation. If you're in the States, visit the AAP's NRP page. In Canada, visit the CPS' NRP page. You can find links to current NRP guidelines and search for instructors or courses.
I took my NRP course from Karen Strange, who travels all over the country teaching NRP workshops. She teaches everything required for the NRP certification and addresses how to adapt these to the realities of an out-of-hospital setting (cord usually left intact, resuscitating baby in place with a portable heated surface rather than removing baby to a warmer, etc). She's hilarious, quirky, and has a last name that totally fits her personality.
Nothing replaces actual hands-on experience gained at NRP workshops. But if there are no NRP courses near you, you can of course study on your own. Do what you can with the resources available to you. Buy or interlibrary loan the latest NRP manual. Watch videos. Read textbooks. Learn more about the fetus-to-newborn transition.
Who would benefit from taking a NRP class? Besides the obvious (midwives, physicians, nurses), I feel that doulas should also be certified in NRP. Sooner or later, most doulas will attend a precipitous birth where the mother has the baby before she can make it to the hospital, or where the midwife doesn't arrive in time at a planned home birth. In addition, I'd strongly recommend NRP for women planning a home birth or with a history of fast labors.
What about Inga's birth?
There is disagreement, even among NRP instructors and NICU/L&D nurses, about whether or not I should have done more aggressive stimulation (drying with towels, rubbing the back, etc) before proceeding to mouth-to-mouth. I am aware of the NRP flow chart (pictured below). During Inga's birth, it was clear to me that she needed mouth-to-mouth at that point, rather taking more time to get out of the tub and dry her off first. Inga was born with color and tone and then started losing it, which indicates secondary rather than primary apnea. In that case, stimulation is less likely to be effective than positive pressure ventilation (either by mouth-to-mouth or bag-and-mask).
If you read the comments on Inga's birth story, part 2, you'll see a conversation going on among L&D/NICU nurses and NRP providers about whether I should have done more stimulation before proceeding to PPV. Some suggested doing a bit more stimulation/clearing the airway, while others felt that moving to mouth-to-mouth at that point was most appropriate. For example, Sarah, a NICU nurse, explained:
With primary apnea (a baby born without tone and color) rubbing the baby and clearing the airway will often work to stimulate breathing. With secondary apnea, where the baby loses tone and color, stimulation will not work. The baby needs PPV/ rescue breaths. Stimulation is really irrelevant in these cases.From cileag:
I think it's intimidating for people to see a baby "crash" like that. Like Housefairy said, mostly it's the "perfect" homebirths that get shared. As an OB nurse and practitioner of NRP, I know that the good thing about NRP is that it almost always works.My nurse-midwife, who herself is a NRP instructor, wrote to me:
Stimulation [in the form of giving breaths] and a moment for the cord blood to return to baby again...and baby was clearly just fine. She had no additional need for support, not even blow-by oxygen, which is evidence that this was an acute scenario [i.e., temporary and quickly reversible] and she had a good reserve.Okay, now I'm really tired of talking about neonatal resuscitation, since Inga's was such a minor part of her overall birth. There are all sorts of ridiculous things being said on the internet about me and about her birth. Just to give you a few examples:
- I am a bad, unfeeling mother because I remained unnaturally calm. A good mother would have panicked more and shown signs of distress and remorse. This reminds me of when I was engaged to Eric. People worried that I had made a bad decision "because I wasn't glowing enough." Apparently there's an engagement smile-o-meter that I failed to pass. Just as I failed the precipitous birth panic-o-meter.
- Because I didn't follow the NRP flowchart to the letter, I was ignorant and uninformed. Never mind that Inga responded almost immediately to the mouth-to-mouth and had an Apgar of 9 or 10 by time she was 2 minutes old.
- Everything turned out fine, but YOU OR THE BABY COULD HAVE DIED! Yes, I could have had a hemorrhage, even though I lost only 10 cc of blood. Yes, the baby could have needed more extensive care, but it didn't and skilled help was on the way. Yes, I could have had a heart attack or an amniotic fluid embolism. But I didn't.
- Inga's birth proves that home birth kills babies. Holy non-sequitur Batman!
.
Monday, March 07, 2011
Postpartum belly: 4 & 5 days after
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| 4 days after giving birth |
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| 5 days after giving birth |
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| Zari wanted a "picture with the belly" |
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| morning snuggle |
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| Zari's turn |
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| Dio thinks Inga is pretty neat |
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| He loves to give hugs |
Sunday, March 06, 2011
Things I love about newborns
Everyone raves about "that newborn smell." I'm not sure if I've ever noticed it, but I do love...
Read more ...
wrinkly hands
wrinkly feet
forehead creases and rosebud lips
What do you love about newborns?
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Saturday, March 05, 2011
Postpartum belly: 2 & 3 days after
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| 2 days after giving birth |
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| 3 days after giving birth |
Inga's birth story, part 2
Reflections on Inga's birth
Additional commentary on resuscitating the baby:
The midwives Penny and Holly watched the birth video while I was resting after the birth. I asked Penny if I reacted appropriately to Inga’s condition—was I too quick to do mouth-to-mouth? Should I have done anything else first? Should I have waited longer? She said I absolutely acted appropriately and that, frankly, Inga looked pretty darn scary for a while. Based on Inga's rapid loss of tone and color, the midwife suspects there was some kind of cord compression/restriction during the birth. Between my giving her mouth-to-mouth and the blood resuming circulation after the birth, Inga recovered quickly.
The other nurse-midwife Holly (who arrived after I was settled in bed) added that it was probably best that they weren’t there for the birth. I knew what to do and was able act quickly and calmly. She guessed it would have been more stressful for me had they been there and stepped in to intervene.
Was I scared? Not really--more focused on the situation at hand. I do remember thinking, as Inga was losing color and muscle tone, "I have NOT done all this work for nothing--come on, baby!" I knew it was serious, but I also knew that I had the appropriate knowledge and skills. I feel strongly that every pregnant woman should prepare herself for how to handle situations such as this, no matter where she is planning to give birth. Had I been planning a hospital birth, I seriously doubt I would have made it on time. And obviously, the midwife won't always make it on time either!
And as scary as the resuscitating part might seem, I'm glad to to be able to share it. It shows how to handle an emergency situation without losing calm.
I was very glad to be in a home setting in this situation. It's very unlikely that Inga's cord would have remained intact during a hospital resuscitation, which would have further compromised an already struggling baby. As it was, Inga was able to receive her full placental transfusion and make a quick recovery.
Regarding the midwife not making it to the birth on time:
Not surprisingly, this didn't concern me at all. In fact, it hardly even registered that she wasn't going to make it. Now I didn't intentionally call Penny too late. In fact, when I called her the second time, I still wondered if it was way too early! She probably would have made it on time, had she not taken a shower after my second phone call. She told me, "I should have known not to get in the shower! After all, it was Rixa calling me!"
As you know from reading my blog, I planned an unassisted birth with Zari, so doing it on my own wasn't at all scary. Plus there's nothing that would have happened much differently had Penny been there. She would have checked heart tones, but otherwise everything else would have been the same. I know this, because Dio's birth that she attended was nearly identical to Inga's. With him, I pushed in the same position for about the same amount of time; I supported and caught the baby myself. Penny was just there to keep an eye on things.
Other thoughts:
I'd love to dispense with the practice of labeling our births. In my experience the line between a midwife-attended and an unassisted birth was so fluid as to be nearly irrelevant. Now that I've had a planned unassisted birth, a midwife-attended home birth, and an "accidental" or "surprise" unassisted birth, I can say that the labels don't really mean much at all.
There was an OB who was hoping to observe the birth, but he wasn't able to make it out. I know he had a busy call schedule on top of regular office hours. Too bad, though. Maybe next time?
The timing of this birth worked really well in the end. I was well-rested and fully recovered from the stomach bug. The day before I went into labor was incredibly relaxing, even languorous. As with my other two children, labor began at night and the birth happened during the day. And even the time of day of Inga's birth was perfect. It was a sunny morning and we were in an east-facing bedroom, so the light was beautiful. We got everything in order--barely--before I started pushing: house tidied, kids sent off, birth pool filled, etc. And my mother-in-law arrived the day after Inga was born. Couldn't have been better!
Someone asked why I chose not to have the kids present for the birth. It would have been way too distracting to have them underfoot, especially Dio. There was no question once labor started about wanting them around. I really liked the quiet time both before and after Inga was born, without the distraction of happy, noisy, energetic siblings.
By the next day, the events of the labor and birth were already feeling surreal and dreamlike. Did I really go into labor and have a baby? Obviously yes, since I'm holding her right now! But it seems hard to believe that it really happened and that it's already over.
And finally, I am SO happy that we filmed this birth!
Friday, March 04, 2011
Inga's birth story, part 1
I woke up to strong contractions around 1 am. From their length and intensity, I knew this was the real deal. I had to breathe slowly to work through them. Counting breaths became my early labor mantra. By the fifth breath, the peak would begin to subside. By the ninth or tenth breath, the contraction was gone. I got out of bed several times to use the bathroom and turn the water heater to the hottest setting, but otherwise made myself stay under the covers and rest. As much as I wanted to be up and moving with the contractions, I was too warm and cozy and tired.
I purposely didn't watch the clock, so I don't know how frequent the contractions were. But they were really intense. I listened to the Hypnobabies track "Easy First Stage" once. It was really relaxing and gave me welcome distraction from labor. I also composed a mental list of tasks for Eric to do in the morning: feed & dress the kids, drop them off at a friend's house, fill the birth pool, pick up toys, start a load of laundry, etc. Toward the end of the morning, I drifted in and out of sleep between contractions.
At 6:48 am, I got up to use the bathroom and decided that I had had enough. Time to get up and work with, rather than try to ignore, the contractions. I noticed the familiar pink-tinged mucous or "bloody show" that has heralded labor with all of my children. Soon we were all awake and getting ready. I called the midwife first thing to give her a heads-up, letting her know I'd call again when I was ready for her to come. I kept hurrying Eric and the kids on. Somehow I just knew that we didn't have the time for a leisurely morning. As soon as I got out of bed, the contractions starting coming much more frequently. I showered and dressed (bikini top & bottom, compression hose, yoga pants, & shirt) and started filling the birth pool as soon as the hot water tank had recharged. My logical brain was wondering if I was jumping the gun, but the instinctual part of me compelled me to act quickly.
By 8:15 am, Eric had returned from dropping the kids off. The pool was filling. From when I woke up until I got in the birth pool, I did "Rixa's labor hula" during contractions, as my sister-in-law calls it. This was right before I got in the pool and about 10 minutes before my body began pushing. You see me hit the button on the laptop when the contraction ends.
Eric hurried to finish last-minute tasks, then gave me a blessing. I've asked for one during each of my labors, and they have always been incredibly reassuring. By this point labor was really, really intense. I sensed the dizzy, spinny, buzzing feeling heralding the endorphins of advanced labor. But was I really that far along? I called the midwife a second time and told her to head over. I didn’t want her to arrive too early, but if my instincts were correct, things were really cooking.
I timed several contractions with Contraction Master. If this labor was anything like Dio's, I was getting close to the end based on how intense and how close together they were. These are the last contractions I had before I got into the birth pool (and in retrospect, about 30 minutes before the baby was born):
Somehow, I just knew that I would be pushing soon. There was no physical indicator, just an interior knowledge that the baby was on its way.
About 8:45 am, I got in the pool as it was finishing its final top-off. It was the perfect depth and temperature.
I was keen to film this birth, so Eric set up the video camera. I had a few contractions in the tub and started feeling a little bit pushy. Already? After another few contractions, in which you hear increasingly grunty vocalizations, there was no question. I knelt and reached inside. Sure enough, there was a hard round head about two knuckles deep. I felt around for a while, trying to figure out what was what. With all of the folded tissues and wrinkly baby’s head, it’s sometimes hard to tell where you end and baby begins!
Although the birth videos show only the physical side of giving birth to a baby, I was also going through an intense mental struggle. I knew that the sensations of pushing would only become more intense and more uncomfortable. Okay, let’s be honest: I knew it would hurt so much more than it already was. I dreaded it, yet I knew there was no escape. I’m not exactly fond of feeling a baby come out of my vagina, you know? It doesn’t feel good. First your butt feels like it’s going to split in half, then your vagina does. My vocalizations manifested this inner struggle, as well as the physical sensations going on in my body.
Like during Dio’s labor, I needed something to grab onto, so Eric and I “arm wrestled” during contractions. Once the baby’s head began to crown, I put my right hand down to support my tissues. I provided support against the perineum at first. Then, as the baby’s head emerged more and more, the burning and pressure moved towards the front. For the third time, I experienced the impossible-yet-inevitable sensation of a baby’s head emerging out of my body. My palm was cupped over the head. The baby was facing anterior, the smooth back of the head against my palm and my fingertips touching its face. There was a slight pause after the head was born. Then the shoulders emerged. I provided more counter-pressure in the front as the shoulders squeezed out. Another brief pause at the torso, one last little push, and the baby was born. I lifted it out of the water. We discovered we had a girl! We didn’t look at the clock until a few minutes after, so we’re guessing the baby was born at 9:12 am.
Soon after the birth, Inga lost muscle tone and color. I quickly realized that I needed to perform mouth-to-mouth. Fortunately, I became certified in neonatal resuscitation several years ago, so I knew what to do. It was tricky getting the angle right, since the cord was short. I gave her five breaths. After each breath, she coughed and perked up a bit more.
Within seconds of Inga being fully recovered, the midwife’s assistant arrived. I guess she hadn’t been debriefed about me wanting to be left undisturbed. She started bustling around and talking and asking questions and I got really annoyed. So I kicked her out of the room, saying, “I just need peace and quiet. I'm okay.” She beat a hasty retreat. This cracks me up.
One of my other favorite parts is in the middle of pushing when the phone rings and goes to the answering machine. It was an automated appointment reminder for my prenatal visit the next day!
I sat back in the tub for a few minutes to relax. It felt so good to be done!
Okay, now that you’ve read about the birth up to this point, go watch the videos. They're about 30 minutes total, from when I got into the tub until about 5 minutes after Inga was born. There’s some nudity since I don’t have a swimming suit bottom on, but it’s quite tame. Between the labor hula video and the birth video, you’ll get a really good idea of how I labor and birth. You’ll see me give birth in an upright kneeling position, provide my own perineal support and counter-pressure, catch my own baby, and narrate what’s going on. And you’ll get an earful of funky pushing noises!
Pretty intense, eh?
I rested for a few minutes, enjoying the warm water and weightlessness. The midwife arrived and helped me get settled into bed. Did I mention how good I felt? Ahhhh…I had a silky soft baby on my chest, I could finally lie on my back, and the hard work of labor was over. It felt glorious.
Inga started rooting around and pushing herself up with her feet. I wanted to let her do the breast crawl and self-attach. She started going through the breast crawl stages. But she got fussy and I was too impatient! So maybe 30 minutes after she was born, I gave her a little help and she latched on perfectly. The midwives and assistant stayed in the kitchen, entering the room only when I asked for something. It was a beautiful, quiet time spent snuggling and talking and resting.
I started feeling a bit grunty/pushy and figured it was time to get the placenta out. I called the midwife in. She held a bowl, caught the placenta, and then raved about how little blood I had lost—an estimated 10 cc (2 tsp) total! She took pictures of the birth pool and placenta bowl so that her colleagues would believe her.
About 2 hours after the birth, we did the newborn exam.
Then I showered and got my bottom half dressed. The midwife checked me for tears--just two periurethral skidmarks, so minor that they didn't even sting! Eric snuggled Inga skin-to-skin for a long time. It was fun to rest in bed together as a couple with our new baby.
After lunch, Eric brought the kids home to meet their new baby sister.
You might also want to read:
Inga's birth story, part 2
Part 3: Neonatal resuscitation
Part 4: Final reflections
.
Read more ...
I purposely didn't watch the clock, so I don't know how frequent the contractions were. But they were really intense. I listened to the Hypnobabies track "Easy First Stage" once. It was really relaxing and gave me welcome distraction from labor. I also composed a mental list of tasks for Eric to do in the morning: feed & dress the kids, drop them off at a friend's house, fill the birth pool, pick up toys, start a load of laundry, etc. Toward the end of the morning, I drifted in and out of sleep between contractions.
At 6:48 am, I got up to use the bathroom and decided that I had had enough. Time to get up and work with, rather than try to ignore, the contractions. I noticed the familiar pink-tinged mucous or "bloody show" that has heralded labor with all of my children. Soon we were all awake and getting ready. I called the midwife first thing to give her a heads-up, letting her know I'd call again when I was ready for her to come. I kept hurrying Eric and the kids on. Somehow I just knew that we didn't have the time for a leisurely morning. As soon as I got out of bed, the contractions starting coming much more frequently. I showered and dressed (bikini top & bottom, compression hose, yoga pants, & shirt) and started filling the birth pool as soon as the hot water tank had recharged. My logical brain was wondering if I was jumping the gun, but the instinctual part of me compelled me to act quickly.
By 8:15 am, Eric had returned from dropping the kids off. The pool was filling. From when I woke up until I got in the birth pool, I did "Rixa's labor hula" during contractions, as my sister-in-law calls it. This was right before I got in the pool and about 10 minutes before my body began pushing. You see me hit the button on the laptop when the contraction ends.
Eric hurried to finish last-minute tasks, then gave me a blessing. I've asked for one during each of my labors, and they have always been incredibly reassuring. By this point labor was really, really intense. I sensed the dizzy, spinny, buzzing feeling heralding the endorphins of advanced labor. But was I really that far along? I called the midwife a second time and told her to head over. I didn’t want her to arrive too early, but if my instincts were correct, things were really cooking.
I timed several contractions with Contraction Master. If this labor was anything like Dio's, I was getting close to the end based on how intense and how close together they were. These are the last contractions I had before I got into the birth pool (and in retrospect, about 30 minutes before the baby was born):
Somehow, I just knew that I would be pushing soon. There was no physical indicator, just an interior knowledge that the baby was on its way.
About 8:45 am, I got in the pool as it was finishing its final top-off. It was the perfect depth and temperature.
I was keen to film this birth, so Eric set up the video camera. I had a few contractions in the tub and started feeling a little bit pushy. Already? After another few contractions, in which you hear increasingly grunty vocalizations, there was no question. I knelt and reached inside. Sure enough, there was a hard round head about two knuckles deep. I felt around for a while, trying to figure out what was what. With all of the folded tissues and wrinkly baby’s head, it’s sometimes hard to tell where you end and baby begins!
Although the birth videos show only the physical side of giving birth to a baby, I was also going through an intense mental struggle. I knew that the sensations of pushing would only become more intense and more uncomfortable. Okay, let’s be honest: I knew it would hurt so much more than it already was. I dreaded it, yet I knew there was no escape. I’m not exactly fond of feeling a baby come out of my vagina, you know? It doesn’t feel good. First your butt feels like it’s going to split in half, then your vagina does. My vocalizations manifested this inner struggle, as well as the physical sensations going on in my body.
Like during Dio’s labor, I needed something to grab onto, so Eric and I “arm wrestled” during contractions. Once the baby’s head began to crown, I put my right hand down to support my tissues. I provided support against the perineum at first. Then, as the baby’s head emerged more and more, the burning and pressure moved towards the front. For the third time, I experienced the impossible-yet-inevitable sensation of a baby’s head emerging out of my body. My palm was cupped over the head. The baby was facing anterior, the smooth back of the head against my palm and my fingertips touching its face. There was a slight pause after the head was born. Then the shoulders emerged. I provided more counter-pressure in the front as the shoulders squeezed out. Another brief pause at the torso, one last little push, and the baby was born. I lifted it out of the water. We discovered we had a girl! We didn’t look at the clock until a few minutes after, so we’re guessing the baby was born at 9:12 am.
Soon after the birth, Inga lost muscle tone and color. I quickly realized that I needed to perform mouth-to-mouth. Fortunately, I became certified in neonatal resuscitation several years ago, so I knew what to do. It was tricky getting the angle right, since the cord was short. I gave her five breaths. After each breath, she coughed and perked up a bit more.
Within seconds of Inga being fully recovered, the midwife’s assistant arrived. I guess she hadn’t been debriefed about me wanting to be left undisturbed. She started bustling around and talking and asking questions and I got really annoyed. So I kicked her out of the room, saying, “I just need peace and quiet. I'm okay.” She beat a hasty retreat. This cracks me up.
One of my other favorite parts is in the middle of pushing when the phone rings and goes to the answering machine. It was an automated appointment reminder for my prenatal visit the next day!
I sat back in the tub for a few minutes to relax. It felt so good to be done!
Pretty intense, eh?
I rested for a few minutes, enjoying the warm water and weightlessness. The midwife arrived and helped me get settled into bed. Did I mention how good I felt? Ahhhh…I had a silky soft baby on my chest, I could finally lie on my back, and the hard work of labor was over. It felt glorious.
Inga started rooting around and pushing herself up with her feet. I wanted to let her do the breast crawl and self-attach. She started going through the breast crawl stages. But she got fussy and I was too impatient! So maybe 30 minutes after she was born, I gave her a little help and she latched on perfectly. The midwives and assistant stayed in the kitchen, entering the room only when I asked for something. It was a beautiful, quiet time spent snuggling and talking and resting.
I started feeling a bit grunty/pushy and figured it was time to get the placenta out. I called the midwife in. She held a bowl, caught the placenta, and then raved about how little blood I had lost—an estimated 10 cc (2 tsp) total! She took pictures of the birth pool and placenta bowl so that her colleagues would believe her.
About 2 hours after the birth, we did the newborn exam.
You might also want to read:
Inga's birth story, part 2
Part 3: Neonatal resuscitation
Part 4: Final reflections
.
Let's name this baby
We've decided on a first name for this baby. We wanted something Scandinavian, since many of our ancestors originate from that part of the world. I had a college classmate with a really cool name that we both liked. So our new baby girl is named...
We're still working on a middle name. I want something short, preferably 1-2 syllables. Any suggestions?
I'm feeling really good. I've gone up a cup size or two and felt a let-down for the first time this morning. Inga is nursing really well. Now that the milk is flowing more plentifully, I can clearly hear her swallowing when she nurses. She loves sleeping on my chest day and night. A sling is the perfect thing for the daytime; I can hold her and type/eat/read/nap at the same time. Inga has already had 5 poops. The last one was much, much lighter in color, so the meconium is working its way out of her system. Can't wait for that easy-to-clean breastmilk poo!
I'm uploading the last of the videos for Inga's birth story. Stay tuned--it will be coming later on today!
.
Read more ...
Inga Freeze
We're still working on a middle name. I want something short, preferably 1-2 syllables. Any suggestions?
I'm feeling really good. I've gone up a cup size or two and felt a let-down for the first time this morning. Inga is nursing really well. Now that the milk is flowing more plentifully, I can clearly hear her swallowing when she nurses. She loves sleeping on my chest day and night. A sling is the perfect thing for the daytime; I can hold her and type/eat/read/nap at the same time. Inga has already had 5 poops. The last one was much, much lighter in color, so the meconium is working its way out of her system. Can't wait for that easy-to-clean breastmilk poo!
I'm uploading the last of the videos for Inga's birth story. Stay tuned--it will be coming later on today!
.
Thursday, March 03, 2011
Postpartum belly: 1 day after
I've always wanted pictures of my shrinking postpartum belly. It's like pregnancy in rapid reverse! So here's 1 day after giving birth:
Read more ...
Wednesday, March 02, 2011
It's a girl!
Announcing the arrival of a baby girl born at home at 9:12 am! It was a surprise unassisted birth; the midwife arrived 5 minutes after she was born. She weighs 7 lbs 9 oz and is 21 1/4" long.
Birth story, super-short version:
Contractions started at 1 am. I made myself stay in bed and try to ignore them until 7 am. Two hours after I got up, I had a baby!
Read more ...
Birth story, super-short version:
Contractions started at 1 am. I made myself stay in bed and try to ignore them until 7 am. Two hours after I got up, I had a baby!
We've been nursing...
Cuddling skin-to-skin...
Getting to know each other...
And just relaxing.
Welcome earth-side, little one!
.
Tuesday, March 01, 2011
Pregnancy update: 41 weeks
So, a March baby it is!
Technically, I'm just 40.4 weeks by ovulation/conception dates...but I thought I'd stick with my pattern of using LMP and posting on Tuesdays.
My belly feels like it's going to burst open. There's so much pressure everywhere that I can only walk at a leisurely amble. I set off intending to go at a nice clip, but I literally cannot! I've been having lots of crampy contractions over the past few weeks, definitely stronger than the normal practice contractions you have throughout pregnancy. I think the baby might have turned anterior, because tonight it feels like one smooth back all along my belly, and the movements are much more muted. I should give it a listen with my fetoscope; for me, that's the most accurate way to pin down where the baby is.
It's funny--no, it's NOT funny--how all of our careful plans for the birth of this baby and for my postpartum support have fallen apart. I was supposed to have around 3 straight weeks of help from my mom and then my mother-in-law. And the baby would be a few weeks old by time Eric left on his immersion trip...
Now, we're facing a dramatic upheaval in plans. My mother-in-law flies in from Alberta in less than two days, and still no baby in sight. Eric has lined up replacements for his trip, as it is pretty obvious at this point that he will not be going. Then, after his mom leaves, my mom won't be able to come until late March, leaving me with no postpartum help for a two-week period. Yikes!
I do have a wonderful circle of friends in town who repeatedly remind me that they are here for me, that they will take my children, bring me meals, do whatever it takes to support me during this time. I am so grateful for them. Now my job is to not try to do everything on my own, but to ask for and accept their help.
I never, ever imagined the possibility of still being pregnant and hosting my MIL. Now, don't get me wrong--I really, really like her. But I do not want anyone in my space until after the baby is here and especially when I am in labor! It's nothing against my MIL; I'd feel the same way with my mom and my own sisters. I am really protective of my space until the baby is born. So I am lining up friends who can host my MIL while I am laboring, if the baby doesn't arrive by tomorrow.
Besides these concerns--and of course the normal questions that arise unbidden in my mind: "what's up with this baby? why is it taking so long? at what point should I start to worry?"--I feel a deep sense of peace and calm. Poor Eric, on the other hand, has practically given himself an ulcer. He says he's been wound up so tight the last week or two that he feels like he's going to break. He keeps asking me, "are you sure you don't want to try walking/sex/spicy food/etc to see if it will bring labor on?" Now, I'm all about those things and more, but only for the sheer pleasure of doing them. Not to try to induce labor. If I'm going to take a walk, it's because I want to go outside and enjoy the fresh air. That's it. No ulterior motives. No wearing myself out trying yet another anecdotal method of inducing labor and driving myself crazy in the meantime.
Here's me, slightly disheveled after a brief morning nap (thanks to my friends who watched the kids!):
Read more ...
Technically, I'm just 40.4 weeks by ovulation/conception dates...but I thought I'd stick with my pattern of using LMP and posting on Tuesdays.
My belly feels like it's going to burst open. There's so much pressure everywhere that I can only walk at a leisurely amble. I set off intending to go at a nice clip, but I literally cannot! I've been having lots of crampy contractions over the past few weeks, definitely stronger than the normal practice contractions you have throughout pregnancy. I think the baby might have turned anterior, because tonight it feels like one smooth back all along my belly, and the movements are much more muted. I should give it a listen with my fetoscope; for me, that's the most accurate way to pin down where the baby is.
It's funny--no, it's NOT funny--how all of our careful plans for the birth of this baby and for my postpartum support have fallen apart. I was supposed to have around 3 straight weeks of help from my mom and then my mother-in-law. And the baby would be a few weeks old by time Eric left on his immersion trip...
Now, we're facing a dramatic upheaval in plans. My mother-in-law flies in from Alberta in less than two days, and still no baby in sight. Eric has lined up replacements for his trip, as it is pretty obvious at this point that he will not be going. Then, after his mom leaves, my mom won't be able to come until late March, leaving me with no postpartum help for a two-week period. Yikes!
I do have a wonderful circle of friends in town who repeatedly remind me that they are here for me, that they will take my children, bring me meals, do whatever it takes to support me during this time. I am so grateful for them. Now my job is to not try to do everything on my own, but to ask for and accept their help.
I never, ever imagined the possibility of still being pregnant and hosting my MIL. Now, don't get me wrong--I really, really like her. But I do not want anyone in my space until after the baby is here and especially when I am in labor! It's nothing against my MIL; I'd feel the same way with my mom and my own sisters. I am really protective of my space until the baby is born. So I am lining up friends who can host my MIL while I am laboring, if the baby doesn't arrive by tomorrow.
Besides these concerns--and of course the normal questions that arise unbidden in my mind: "what's up with this baby? why is it taking so long? at what point should I start to worry?"--I feel a deep sense of peace and calm. Poor Eric, on the other hand, has practically given himself an ulcer. He says he's been wound up so tight the last week or two that he feels like he's going to break. He keeps asking me, "are you sure you don't want to try walking/sex/spicy food/etc to see if it will bring labor on?" Now, I'm all about those things and more, but only for the sheer pleasure of doing them. Not to try to induce labor. If I'm going to take a walk, it's because I want to go outside and enjoy the fresh air. That's it. No ulterior motives. No wearing myself out trying yet another anecdotal method of inducing labor and driving myself crazy in the meantime.
Here's me, slightly disheveled after a brief morning nap (thanks to my friends who watched the kids!):
 |
| 41 weeks from LMP/40.4 weeks from ovulation |
Monday, February 28, 2011
It's a boy!
Not mine though...sorry to tease you.
My youngest sister had her first baby today, a chubby 9 lb 2 oz boy! We were due within a day or so of each other. Of course we both thought I would go long before she would, given my history of early babies and her first-time status. She gave birth with the midwife practice at Mt Auburn Hospital in Cambridge and everything went as she had hoped for--a spontaneous, unmedicated birth with her husband, doula, and midwife present.
I'm so excited for her! Now let's see if my little one can get with the program and find the exit route.
Read more ...
My youngest sister had her first baby today, a chubby 9 lb 2 oz boy! We were due within a day or so of each other. Of course we both thought I would go long before she would, given my history of early babies and her first-time status. She gave birth with the midwife practice at Mt Auburn Hospital in Cambridge and everything went as she had hoped for--a spontaneous, unmedicated birth with her husband, doula, and midwife present.
I'm so excited for her! Now let's see if my little one can get with the program and find the exit route.
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Supporting your own perineum
A blog reader recently asked a question about supporting your own perineum:
Let me quote from Dio's birth story to illustrate:
During Zari's birth, she seemed to take forever to be born. On the other hand, during Dio's birth I was doing everything I could to slow the pushing stage down. So the counter-pressure was especially useful for Dio's much faster pushing stage (20 minutes versus 2 hours).
If you want to do your own perineal support/counter-pressure, make sure those attending the birth know this and are prepared for it. Every provider has their own habitual practices--some routinely massage and stretch the perineum, others provide counter-pressure, others keep their hands off entirely. Be very clear that you want no one touching you or the baby as it is crowning and that you will be putting your hands on the baby's head instead.
It also helps to be in the right birth position so you can easily reach the baby's head. Variations on a low kneel or crouch work especially well.
Sitting on the toilet also works; I did this while Zari's head crowned and emerged, then went down to a half-kneel/half-squat on the floor for the birth of her body.
I'd love links to photos or videos of women doing their own perineal support/counter-pressure!
.
Read more ...
Reading the post regarding birth plans, I came across the part where you say "I catch my own babies and support my own perineum" and it confused me a little bit. I am not a mother, never given birth. I have witnessed a few births but I still have the question... What do you mean when you say you support your own perineum? Can you explain to me exactly how you support it? If this is too personal of a question, sorry! I am just unfamiliar with this and would like to know what it is for future knowledge. My husband and I are trying for our first and I have to say that I am scared of the birthing process. Mainly because I am scared that I would tear. So you mentioning this peaked my interest.First, I should clarify that what I do is provide gentle counter-pressure against the baby's head wherever I feel too much burning/stinging, rather than touch or support the actual perineum.
Let me quote from Dio's birth story to illustrate:
The baby’s head descended rapidly. When I felt it hit my perineum, I slapped my right hand down to support my tissues while maintaining a death grip on Eric’s arm with my left hand. As I was doing this, this passage from Gloria Lemay’s article Midwife’s Guide to an Intact Perineum flashed through my mind: "The next distinct feeling is a burning, pins-and-needles feeling at the opening of the vagina. Many women describe this as a 'ring of fire' all around the vaginal opening. It is instinctive to slap your hand down on the now-bulging vulva and try to control where the baby’s head is starting to emerge. This instinct should be followed. It seems to really help to have your own hands there."
...With each contraction, the head emerged more and more. I applied counterpressure to the head, varying the pressure between the front and back depending on where I felt more pressure and stinging. As much as crowning, and pushing in general, was wild and crazy and painful, it was amazingly cool to once again support my baby’s head as it emerged out of my body. There’s nothing like feeling your baby’s head come out, bit by bit, into the palm of your hand. Every woman deserves that experience.Providing your own counter-pressure or perineal support isn't a fancy technique; it's a matter of following your body's cues. You cup your hand over the baby's head once it starts crowning and apply counter-pressure wherever it feels best to do so. Sometimes it will be in back towards the perineum; other times in front near the urethra/clitoris.
During Zari's birth, she seemed to take forever to be born. On the other hand, during Dio's birth I was doing everything I could to slow the pushing stage down. So the counter-pressure was especially useful for Dio's much faster pushing stage (20 minutes versus 2 hours).
If you want to do your own perineal support/counter-pressure, make sure those attending the birth know this and are prepared for it. Every provider has their own habitual practices--some routinely massage and stretch the perineum, others provide counter-pressure, others keep their hands off entirely. Be very clear that you want no one touching you or the baby as it is crowning and that you will be putting your hands on the baby's head instead.
It also helps to be in the right birth position so you can easily reach the baby's head. Variations on a low kneel or crouch work especially well.
 |
| "frog squat" from Sage Beginnings |
 |
| A low kneel from Laura Shanley's Bornfree site |
Sitting on the toilet also works; I did this while Zari's head crowned and emerged, then went down to a half-kneel/half-squat on the floor for the birth of her body.
I'd love links to photos or videos of women doing their own perineal support/counter-pressure!
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Women's history moment: engagement quilts
I slept and read books all day yesterday as I was recovering from the nasty stomach bug. While I was reading A History of the Wife by Marilyn Yalom, I came across a passage about engagement quilts. In her chapter on "Victorian Wives on Both Sides of the Atlantic," she writes:
And I can't leave out mention of this lovely birth quilt I linked to years ago...just because it's so beautiful.
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During the engagement period, the making of a quilt by the bride's friends gave official recognition to the betrothal. Whether they lived in the South, the North, Midwest, or West, quilters participated in a utilitarian activity that had become, by the mid-nineteenth century, a communal ritual and a fine art. First they would make certain design decisions together, such as the size and color scheme. Then each woman would make a square or "block" and sign it with her name in ink or embroidery, before all the finished blocks were sewn together to make the quilt top. A quilt backing was stretched out on a frame, covered with cotton batting, which was then covered with the quilt top. Decorative stitching through the three layers held them in place. Referred to as "engagement quilts" or "bride's quilts," they were intended to last a lifetime and to be handed down to one's descendants. (p. 209)I was struck by how similar this process was to the birth quilts I made for Dio and this new baby. It's fascinating to see how women's traditional practices become revived and reinvented--unknowingly, in my case.
Saturday, February 26, 2011
What's worse?
What's worse than a third sleepless night in a row?
A third sleepless night plus...
Puking 4 times
15+ trips to the bathroom for diarrhea
Fever and chills
Back to bed I go...
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A third sleepless night plus...
Puking 4 times
15+ trips to the bathroom for diarrhea
Fever and chills
Back to bed I go...
Friday, February 25, 2011
Need sleep
Terrible sleep issues again...can't write much because I need to get to bed and if I started, I would probably say some very mean and irrational things because I am so tired and desperate.
And I'm just a tad bit stressed out about the fact that my husband is leaving the country in a week. He's bringing a group of students to the US Virgin Islands over spring break as part of a travel writing course he's teaching. We thought the baby would be several weeks old by that point. Now I'm facing the possibility of having a baby only a few days old and no husband around. My MIL is coming that week but I am not sure I can handle it on my own, even with her help.
And let's not even mention all the ridiculous theories various people have suggested for why I'm still pregnant. I'm too stressed/not stressed enough/purposely withholding labor/caused it because of my diet.
Whatever.
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And I'm just a tad bit stressed out about the fact that my husband is leaving the country in a week. He's bringing a group of students to the US Virgin Islands over spring break as part of a travel writing course he's teaching. We thought the baby would be several weeks old by that point. Now I'm facing the possibility of having a baby only a few days old and no husband around. My MIL is coming that week but I am not sure I can handle it on my own, even with her help.
And let's not even mention all the ridiculous theories various people have suggested for why I'm still pregnant. I'm too stressed/not stressed enough/purposely withholding labor/caused it because of my diet.
Whatever.
.
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Bamboo wrap-style carrier on sale!
I saw this Earth Mom and Baby's Panda Pocket wrap-style Carrier on clearance at Baby Steals for $39.99 (normally $89.98) and wanted to pass the news along. Price last until they are sold out, which will probably happen some time today.
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Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Pregnancy update: 40 weeks
Today is the first time I’ve ever reached my “due date” in 3 pregnancies. To be really technical, I won’t actually be 40 weeks for another few days, since I have a 27-28 day cycle with a short luteal phase (I ovulate around day 16-17)…but who cares, anyway?
We had a "due date date” tonight after we put the kids to bed. There’s not much going on in our town, no good restaurants or shows right now, so we just stayed in. I rented a video—the latest Twilight, since I felt like something fluffy—and we ate popcorn. Eric was totally rooting for Team Jacob. "Enough with the weepy, moronic, emotionally abusive relationship," he said.
I don’t feel all that much different than last week. Sleep has been so-so, but that’s the reality of being at the end of pregnancy. Zari was really helpful today and let me sleep during Dio’s naptime. She played quietly by herself, helped herself to an apple, and stayed out of the room until I woke up.
I’ve already started working through my postpartum reading list. Last night, I started reading The Year My Son and I Were Born by Kathryn Soper and stayed up way too late. Then I woke up early this morning and couldn’t get back to sleep, so I finished the rest of the book before everyone else woke up. The writing itself is okay, but the story is so powerful. I cried through about half of the book, and I’m not usually the crying type.
Then this afternoon I read Free-Range Kids start to finish. Fantastic book, fast read. After Dio woke up from his nap, I brought the kids outside to play and myself outside to read--putting free-range into action, right? It was right around freezing and overcast, not really the best weather, but the kids didn’t care. It’s amazing how they can amuse themselves with puddles of water and broken tree branches.
If I don’t have the baby tonight, I’m bringing the car into the shop tomorrow. Great timing, eh? I’m pretty sure we have a fuel line leak, since our mileage has plummeted suddenly from 600+ miles/tank to less than 350. I’m borrowing a friend’s car for the day so I can go to my midwife’s appointment, and we’re hoping it the car will be fixed by the end of the day.
Read more ...
We had a "due date date” tonight after we put the kids to bed. There’s not much going on in our town, no good restaurants or shows right now, so we just stayed in. I rented a video—the latest Twilight, since I felt like something fluffy—and we ate popcorn. Eric was totally rooting for Team Jacob. "Enough with the weepy, moronic, emotionally abusive relationship," he said.
I don’t feel all that much different than last week. Sleep has been so-so, but that’s the reality of being at the end of pregnancy. Zari was really helpful today and let me sleep during Dio’s naptime. She played quietly by herself, helped herself to an apple, and stayed out of the room until I woke up.
I’ve already started working through my postpartum reading list. Last night, I started reading The Year My Son and I Were Born by Kathryn Soper and stayed up way too late. Then I woke up early this morning and couldn’t get back to sleep, so I finished the rest of the book before everyone else woke up. The writing itself is okay, but the story is so powerful. I cried through about half of the book, and I’m not usually the crying type.
Then this afternoon I read Free-Range Kids start to finish. Fantastic book, fast read. After Dio woke up from his nap, I brought the kids outside to play and myself outside to read--putting free-range into action, right? It was right around freezing and overcast, not really the best weather, but the kids didn’t care. It’s amazing how they can amuse themselves with puddles of water and broken tree branches.
If I don’t have the baby tonight, I’m bringing the car into the shop tomorrow. Great timing, eh? I’m pretty sure we have a fuel line leak, since our mileage has plummeted suddenly from 600+ miles/tank to less than 350. I’m borrowing a friend’s car for the day so I can go to my midwife’s appointment, and we’re hoping it the car will be fixed by the end of the day.
40 weeks pregnant
I love this photo because it shows Dio's silly side.
Monday, February 21, 2011
Birth Around the World: Vertical Birth
I also wanted to bring your attention to several articles and links about vertical birth.
First, read The Unnecesarean's fabulous article about the Vertical Birth Movement in Latin America. From Venezuela to Peru, from Ecuador to Mexico, hospitals and childbirth advocates are starting to adopt vertical birth as a way to increase safety and as a fundamental human rights issue.
Next, Susana of Spirit-Led Birth that birthing in an upright position liberated her from pain:
Once I learned that women can birth while sitting, standing, or on all fours I was liberated! From the bed and from pain! My first two births, (which were hospital births) were conducted in a bed. For the rest of my 5 births I never once laid in a bed. During my first homebirth I went to lie in bed, out of habit I guess, and as soon as I laid down I felt pain so I got out the bed and never got back in!She includes a link to a Spanish-language video called "Humanized Birth: Retrieving the Vertical Position." Lots of lovely upright births!
Finally, Sage Beginnings has photo illustrations of various birthing positions. These pictures, taken in a variety of birth locations, are so much more helpful than the line drawings found in many birth books!
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Postpartum reading suggestions
I need some good books to read after this baby is born. I felt so good after Dio was born that I had a hard time making myself lie down and rest. But give me a good book, and I can stay in bed for hours! I need some reading suggestions--fiction, non-fiction, fluffy, serious. Anything really, as long as it's well-written, throught-provoking, and/or entertaining.
I've already ILL'd a stack of books and made my way through a few of them, but I need lots, lots more. So please send me your recommendations!
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I've already ILL'd a stack of books and made my way through a few of them, but I need lots, lots more. So please send me your recommendations!
Friday, February 18, 2011
Make hay while the sun shines, Rixa style
We've had an unusually warm spell the past few days. True to form, I've taken advantage of it to strip the antique washstand & mirror that we're turning into our bathroom vanity. It's a beautiful piece of furniture, but the shellac was worn off in several places. It would look blotchy if I just put another coat of shellac on top. So I suited up with a dual-canister respirator, heavy-duty rubber gloves that are supposed to be impermeable to any chemical substance, and an old Army surplus shirt (which barely snapped over my belly). I wish I had a picture, because it was quite the sight.
I finished the last of the washstand today. If the baby stays put for a few more days, then I can apply the new finish (a wipe-on polyurethane for moisture protection).
Or the baby could decide to be born right away and I'll just not have a bathroom sink for another month or so. I'd be okay with that too.
My friends joke that I'll be doing a home improvement project while I'm in labor, pausing for the contractions and only stopping for good once I'm starting to push.
Probably not too far from the truth.
Read more ...
I finished the last of the washstand today. If the baby stays put for a few more days, then I can apply the new finish (a wipe-on polyurethane for moisture protection).
Or the baby could decide to be born right away and I'll just not have a bathroom sink for another month or so. I'd be okay with that too.
My friends joke that I'll be doing a home improvement project while I'm in labor, pausing for the contractions and only stopping for good once I'm starting to push.
Probably not too far from the truth.
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