Wednesday, March 05, 2014

My visit to Seattle

We're back from a fun & busy visit to Seattle! Remind me that only having one baby is easy, but crossing 3 time zones and spending a full day traveling each way with a baby is rather tiring. Especially when your baby wants to wake up at 4 am, because it's 7 am in her head!

Eric came to attend the AWP Conference and to interview candidates for his sabbatical replacement. My mom was free that week, so I decided to come along and spend time with my youngest sister, who moved to Seattle about a year ago.

Wednesday
We arrived on Tuesday evening and crashed at my sister's house in Ballard. Eric didn't have any conference obligations on Wednesday except for registering, so we spent the day together with my sister and her two little children. I had breakfast at Señor Moose Café with Sharon Muza and Kim James, the founder of Doula Match. Great food, lovely women, fantastic conversation. While I was breakfasting, Eric toured downtown Ballard with my sister.

Then we met up to visit the Ballard (Chittenden) locks. I visited Seattle when I was about 10 years old, and the locks are one of the few things I can recall.


We picked up some amazing sandwiches at Paseo for lunch. On my sister's recommendation, I chose spice level #3 but I think I could easily have gone up to a 4 or 5 (out of 5). I like it hot!

After naps for my sister's toddler, we went to Golden Gardens Park, a lovely beachfront park and playground. Ivy napped while we enjoyed amazing weather: mid-50s and sunny.


Once the children were covered in sand and (hopefully) tired out, we headed home and caught the bus downtown. Because Eric was also interviewing candidates for his sabbatical replacement, we were able to stay at a very nice hotel, the Fairmont Olympic. We spent an hour in the pool and hottub before it was Ivy's bedtime.


I nursed Ivy and ran off to meet some birth people at Café Presse in Capitol Hill. Dr. Elias Kass of One Sky Family Medicine, a recent CNM graduate (and IBCLC), and a long-time blog reader met me for a wonderful evening of conversation. I was going to walk to and from the hotel, but Elias kindly gave me rides. Thanks!!

We discovered that our "suite" at the Fairmont wasn't really a suite at all, since the 4 French doors between the bedroom and living room had no glass...just large open panels covered with sheer curtains.

If there's no door, no sound control, and no light control, it's not really a suite.

Eric had to sit with the lights off and make no noise to keep Ivy from waking up. After one night of this, I decided to put Ivy to bed at my sister's house and stay until my bedtime. It's only a 12 minute drive from her house to downtown when the traffic is light.

Thursday
Another gorgeous day: mid-50s and sunny. Seattle, what's up? My sister met me at the hotel for swimming, then we explored Pike Place Market and the surrounding shops, including Beecher's Handmade Cheese. Lots of delicious food samples....mmmm....oh, we saw the gum wall (eewwww) and walked past the original Starbucks.

Home for lunch and naps, then back outside to Carkeek Park. It overlooks the Puget Sound and has a little pedestrian bridge that crosses over train tracks down to the beach. Ivy took another outdoor nap--what a lovely thing--while we entertained the other little ones. I was eager to see a bit more of downtown Ballard, so we walked around and visited Classic Consignment. Several lovely shirts & sweaters later, I emerged. I also found an amazing antique chair but had to pass it up...sigh...Dinner was Thai takeout from Pestle Rock.

Friday
Yet another day of gorgeous sunny weather! We spent the morning at the City Center playing in several of the fountains, including the musical fountain with jets that spray to the music and an empty fountain that looks more like an ocean floor than a fountain.





We also toured the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation Visitor's Center. Amazing interactive displays on alleviating poverty, improving sanitation and clean water supplies, reversing malnutrition, and improving the quality of life for all people.

We took this picture...and then it showed up on the wall behind us!



A rural Nepalese midwife's birth kit...plastic sheets, soap, string, and basic instructions. Amazing that something so simple can make such a difference in birth outcomes.


Lunch was takeout pho...I could eat it every day. Yum. After naps, we headed to the Woodland Park Zoo. I was finally able to meet a longtime friend, colleague, and blog reader Jenne after 7+ years of correspondence. I love being able to make these connections!

Later that evening, my sister hosted a last-minute Feminist Mormon Housewives get-together. It was small, but the conversation was great. I love tackling big issues of faith, doubt, feminism, and activism.

Saturday
My sister brought her whole family for swimming on Saturday morning. Seattle decided to show its true colors, so we had cooler temperatures and rain. My sister stayed behind to take the Seattle Underground Tour with Ivy and me and Eric. The sights were mildly interesting, but the tour itself was fascinating. I love well-done entertaining history.

I finally was able to spend some time in the afternoon with Eric at the AWP Bookfair. He'd been tied up all day and most evenings going to conference sessions, while my days were full sightseeing with my sister. We checked out of the hotel and spent our last night at my sister's house again.

Saturday ended on a fantastic note with dinner at The Whale Wins. We had to wait almost and hour and a half for a table, but it was worth it. Amazing flavors and unusual combinations of ingredients. My only complaint was that the restaurant was pretty chilly. I dressed up but had to keep my coat on the whole time, and I still wasn't quite warm enough!

Sunday

Sunday was spent traveling from 7 am PST to 11 pm EST. But at least we got home in one day--another big storm system blew through and threatened to cancel flights.

Observations about Seattle
There's a definite urban-outdoorsy vibe in Seattle. I saw lots of yoga pants + running shoes, practical leather boots, down jackets, closely trimmed beards, and knitted hats & scarves. My sister says that Seattle women don't often "do" their hair, since it rains so much.

The AWP conference was full of uber-hipsters. What a collection of skinny jeans, funky glasses, asymmetrical haircuts, facial hair, and artistically draped hand-knit shawls!

Why do expensive hotels offer fewer amenities than cheap hotels? At the Fairmont, you get the privilege of paying for wifi. Breakfast is $20/person. At Motel 6/Super 8/etc, you get free wifi, free breakfast, and sometimes even free dinner. Weird. 

Of course, the best entertainment at the Fairmont was free: shredding toilet paper.


I've never lived in a big urban area, so Seattle's real estate prices were shocking. There's something fundamentally wrong with such expensive housing. I kept wondering the whole time, "How do real people with regular jobs even survive here?" In my town, some of the cheaper houses are the same price as a car. (Granted, they are not usually very nice at this price, but still...) How do those of you living in big cities make it work?
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Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Ivy is 11 months old!

Eric, Ivy and I just arrived in Seattle last night to visit my sister and to go to the AWP conference, while my mom watches the other kids. It's the first time we've left our children and gone somewhere together. I'm looking forward to good food, warmer (if wetter) weather, lots of fun sight-seeing, and best of all one-on-one time with Ivy during the day. Thanks to all my blog readers who sent in suggestions of things to do!

She does this funny scrunchy thing with her face when she smiles

Having only one child is SO EASY in comparison to four. Only one little person to get dressed and feed and clean up after and buckle into carseats/strollers and get in and out of the car...

Ivy's fourth tooth popped through yesterday, right in time for turning 11 months. She hasn't been cranky or drooly, so it took us by surprise.


Ivy's new tricks this month:
  • She says "papa" and we're pretty sure it's intentional
  • She grinds her upper tooth with her lower 2 teeth and it sounds like she's chewing on rocks. All my kids have done this
  • She says "psssss" when I bring her to the potty or make the potty sign. She's still a bit hesitant to go pee, though. When it comes out, she startles and stops peeing and look around as if to say, "uh oh, I don't think I was supposed to do that!" 
  • She can turn around and climb down the stairs by herself
  • She loves music and starts dancing any time she hears a tune or a beat
  • Her favorite thing to carry around is a tube of chapstick. Not sure why, but you'll always see one in her hand. 
  • When she's done eating, she starts throwing her food onto the floor. Then she lifts up the tray of her high chair and throws that down, too. 
  • Sleeping in her own room
Look who got into the cocoa powder and was eating it by the fistful...


I was about to say that she's sleeping pretty well. She wakes up twice a night, usually, around 2 am and 5 am. But then I realized that I'm still getting up every 2-3 hours and that's not much of an improvement over a newborn! She does have that first long stretch, but I don't really benefit from it. Ah well...some day she will sleep all night long and I will feel amazing. Some day, right?


She's tricky to get back to sleep when I nurse her at night. I usually have to nurse for a good 30 minutes or more to get her tired enough. Even then, she often wakes up and cries when I leave the room. I may be the only parent who does this, but I often crawl out of the room so she can't see me as I leave. Yeah, the things you do when you have a baby...


Ivy's other "mama" Leilani--she and her family stayed with us for 3 months


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Saturday, February 22, 2014

Seattle

Are there any Stand and Deliver readers in Seattle? If so, please send me an email :)
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Thursday, February 13, 2014

First-time mom looking for in-hospital breech catcher

I received a request from a first-time mom looking for a CNM or OB willing to attend a vaginal breech birth. She lives in Pittsburgh but is willing to relocate, if necessary, if her baby remains breech at term. Please email me if you have any recommendations!

~~~~~

I am 33 weeks pregnant (first child), and the baby has been breech since 23/24 weeks. I'm doing all of the spinning babies exercises, and planning to do acupuncture, as well as seeing an OB whom my midwives referred me to to discuss an external version. (I am seeing a group of CNMs with a freestanding birth center, but they don't deliver breech or VBAC, and neither does anyone else in the city do breech deliveries voluntarily, as far as I can tell.)

However. This baby is stubborn. Nothing has made an impact on him/her so far, and I'm concerned that it will continue to be breech. I'm hoping that you can point me towards some providers who will accept a primip trying to have a breech vaginal delivery. I live in Pittsburgh, but my husband and I would drive or fly virtually anywhere and stay there as long as necessary if the external version fails. I just don't want to find myself at 38 weeks (especially not *in labor* at 38 weeks), and have no option other than to go to the OBs, who will insist on a C-section.

I'm especially looking for CNMs who can deliver in a hospital, or OBs who are ok with breech, as I'm concerned enough about the risks of the situation that I don't really want an out of hospital birth at this point. (At least for the first one; subsequent ones, I'll be much more cheerful about "accidentally" waiting too long. ;)

I would deeply appreciate any information you can give me.
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Wednesday, February 05, 2014

We do it just to ruin your day

We lactating mothers just can't wait to bare it all. Because we're all exhibitionists at heart. And we want to ruin your day.

Sparrow-Folk have a go at breastfeeding in public in this song  "Ruin Your Day" from their debut album The Fox and the Lark.



About Sparrow-Folk:

Jules and Catherine first performed together in an improvised show and went on to play a fully improvised gig at a Chalk Board Tent in The Canberra Folk Festival in 2012. It was there the dream was hatched to start Sparrow-Folk. They began performing in backyards, at family events and even had a couple of small appearances at local venues like the Hellenic Club, and Smith’s Alternative Bookshop.

Recently, Sparrow-Folk was named the ACT winner of the ABC Exhumed competition for 2013, after playing to a packed crowd of 300+ at the Woden Southern Cross Club. They played live on 666ABC Canberra radio, and their songs have also been played on Triple J, though their premiere performance was under southern stars and a Hills Hoist.


Sparrow-Folk are passionate about music, women, fun and of course their fans, the ‘Nesties’. Their quirky style is aimed at bringing a smile through songs and commentary on the world around them.

Sparrow-Folk’s experience of the world comes through in their music; they bring whimsy, giggles, fun and sunshine through the ability to laugh at themselves and provide a real commentary on what it’s like to be women in 2013. They are both ridiculously serious, and seriously ridiculous.

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Sunday, February 02, 2014

Birth in the caul

I want to share these two stunning photographs of babies being born in the caul. The first is from a twin birth by photographer Leilani Rogers of www.photosbylei.com.*


The second photo was taken during a cesarean section and shared by Greek obstetrician Aris Tsigris.


I feel such a sense of awe and mystery when I look at these pictures. Even though I've had four children, I still wonder how they folded up inside. Seeing a baby born, yet not fully emerged, gives me a fleeting glimpse into the hidden life of the unborn baby.

This is me trying to figure out how Inga managed to fit inside of me.



*You may share this photo if you give credit and include a link to Leilani Roger's website www.photosbylei.com. 
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Friday, January 31, 2014

Things I didn't expect (when I was expecting) by Monica Dux

I caught a nasty bug yesterday and have been stuck in bed (or lying prone on the floor with 4 children climbing all over me). I started reading Monica Dux's recent book Things I Didn't Expect (When I Was Expecting) to keep my mind off the fever and chills and racking cough.


This book is hilarious. I laughed out loud every other page. I gave up highlighting my favorite passages, because about about half the book would have been marked. Not only is Monica Dux spunky, irreverent, and witty, her observations about all the crazy s*** pregnant women put up with are also spot-on. (Yes, there is an entire chapter about poo. It's fantastic.)

I've been searching long and wide for a book about pregnancy and birth that actually says something new/interesting/useful. This is the book. Here's a synopsis:

Pregnancy is natural, healthy and fun, right? Sure it is, if you're lucky. For others, it's an adventure in physical discomfort, unachievable ideals, kooky classes and meddling experts.

When Monica Dux found herself pregnant with her first child, she was dismayed to find she belonged firmly in the second category. For her, pregnancy could only be described as a medium-level catastrophe. So, three years later and about to birth her second child, Monica went on a quest: to figure out what's really going on when we incubate.

Monica explores the aspects of baby-making that we all want to talk about, but which are too embarrassing, unsettling or downright confronting. She also looks at the powerful forces that shape women's experiences of being pregnant in the west, the exploitative industries, and the medical and physical realities behind it all.

Along the way, she fends off sadistic maternal health nurses, attempts to expand then contract her vagina, and struggles to keep her baby's placenta off her hippy brother's lunch menu.

Available in Australia at MUP and Random House. and Amazon(Australia). Readers outside Australia can purchase ebook versions, including Kindle, Kobo, ibooks, GooglePlay, and more. It is definitely worth purchasing.
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Sunday, January 26, 2014

Ivy is 10 months old!

Ivy turned 9 months on Christmas, and that seems like just last week! Wow. Ever since we came home at the end of that terrible cold spell affecting much of the US and Canada, I've been preoccupied keeping our house and our rental properties warm and dry. We've had several frozen and burst water pipes, despite taking every precaution to prevent them. I've had to call our HVAC guy close to 10 times for various things. We've been outside multiple times in below zero (-20 C and colder) weather thawing frozen air intake pipes to our boiler. I am so ready for this cold weather to end!!! We have another cold wave hitting tonight through Wednesday.

Ivy got her first hairdo today...the kids were so excited. Dio proudly wore a matching topknot to church until the elastic fell out.


New developments this month:
  • Clapping her hands
  • Making fish lips
  • Mimicking everything we do
  • Learning to laugh when she's being tickled, rather than just squirm and grunt
  • Clicking her tongue
  • Blowing raspberries on my chest or belly...she loves to do this when she's done nursing
  • Sitting on her knees (well, she's been doing this for about 2 months now). She still doesn't ever sit down on her bottom. 
  • 2 bottom teeth! We had a rough time with the second tooth. She had a fever for 5 days. The tooth came through after the first night, but she still slept horribly all 5 nights. I had to keep her in bed with me in order for us to get any sleep...and now she's cosleeping much of the night. I never, ever thought she'd be back in bed with us. But I'm being pretty Zen about it. I love cuddling with her--even though half the time it's more like pinning her down so she'll stop wiggling or crawling in her sleep--and I know this time will pass too quickly.On the up side, this past week she's slept nice long stretches at first, from 7 pm - 2 or 3 am. Then she's up quite frequently and mostly in bed with me. 

Ivy is a little jokester. She loves to be in on the action when her siblings are laughing about something. She'll join in and do something funny to get them to laugh at her.


She loves to be with her papa. More than me, often. If I'm holding her and he leaves the room, she cries and throws herself towards him.


She spends hours pulling books off the bookshelf and then reading them.


And I love this picture of Inga.


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Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Currently reading

Memoirs and biographies

Finding Lina: A mother's journey from autism to hope by Helena Hjalmarsson. The subtitle ends with "hope," but I'm not sure I felt that hopeful at the end of the book. It was exhausting to read of this mother's efforts to help her daughter live with autism. I was struck by how much privilege Hjalmarsson had: her financial situation allowed her to live in New York City, hire nannies to help with her children, and devote herself full-time to intensive play and therapy with her daughter Lina. What happens to all the people without the resources or time for a myriad of therapies? Who can't afford innovative private schools? Who can't spend 8+ hours a day of floortime with their autistic child?

The World's Strongest Librarian: A memoir of Tourette's, faith, strength, and the power of family by Josh Hanagarne. Thoroughly enjoyable read by a librarian with a very, very bad case of Tourette's.








Catherine the Great: Portrait of a woman by Robert K. Massie. I had no idea what a fascinating, complex woman Catherine the Great was. Massie quotes extensively from Catherine's own memoirs. His translation makes her seem very much alive and relevant today, even though she lived over two centuries ago.






Orange is the new black by Piper Kerman. I haven't seen the Netflix series, but the book was quite fun to read.











Childbirth

Cut It Out! The C-section epidemic in America by Theresa Morris. Absoutley fantastic. While much of her subject matter is well-known to me, the way she put it all together and made sense of this huge mess that we call maternity care was brilliant. You realize that physicians are just as trapped and constrained as pregnant women are in navigating American obstetric care. You must buy a copy and read it right away!





Born At Home: cultural and political dimensions of maternity care in the United States by Melissa Cheyney











Misc

What's Mine Is Yours: The Rise Of Collaborative Consumption by Rachel Botsman and Roo Rogers. I loved learning about all the ways we're figuring out how to share our time and resources. (Of personal interest since we're currently sharing a house with a family of 10.) Felt a bit long for a book...would have been better as a long article, I think. I'd love to have a neighborhood tool library, for example, so we don't have to buy and own so many tools. At least we put ours to good use! I love the idea of car sharing, especially with all the smartphone technology that simplifies logistics.



Death, American Style: A cultural history of dying in America by Lawrence R. Samuel. Just started. Seems quite interesting.











Religion/Spirituality 

When we were on fire: A memoir of consuming faith, tangled love and starting over by Addie Zierman. A memoir of growing up Evangelical, of finding and then losing (and finding again) her faith.








Sarah the Priestess: The First Matriarch of Genesis by Savina Teubal. The Abraham/Isaac/Jacob stories make SO much more sense if you read this book and realize that Sarah was likely a priestess in a competing matriarchal culture and religion. 



If the church were Christian: Rediscovering the values of Jesus by Philip Gulley. Written about Christianity in general, but definitely applicable to Mormonism as well as other Christian denominations.








A Cultural History of the Book of Mormon (multi-volume series) by Daymon Mickel Smith. I have to admit, it's been hard going wading through the first volume. His thought processes and writing style are tortured at times, yet I'm sticking with it because I hear that it gets better in subsequent volumes and because his ideas are just so fascinating (I only wish they were easier to follow!).





The street-legal version of Mormon's book by Michael Hicks. Hilarious. Puts a fresh face on the Book of Mormon narratives by retelling the stories in modern-day language and syntax. I'm cracking up over how uber-self-righteous Nephi is. (Shout out to Michael Hicks: you need a better cover!)







By the Hand Of Mormon: The American scripture that launched a new world religion by Terryl Givens. An eloquent counterpoint to Daymon Smith's brilliant but very meandering history of this religious text. Givens looks at how various groups inside and outside the Mormon church have used, interpreted, understood, and viewed the Book of Mormon.








Fun reading

Thea Gallas Always Gets Her Man by Kristen Panzer. Loud-mouthed, pregnant lactation consultant meets murder mystery. The first of its kind, and highly entertaining.








Mercy Thompson series by Patricia Briggs (7 books out so far, 8th forthcoming next year): Moon Called, Blood Bound, Iron Kissed, Bone Crossed, Silver Borne, River Marked, and Frost Burned. Fun series with a spunky mechanic-shapeshifter heroine who's likely to be beating her foes with a tire iron, when she isn't having (mis)adventures with her vampire friend or her werewolf neighbor/lover/husband.  She'd probably laugh at the cover illustrations--she's more likely to be in a greasy t-shirt with dirt under her fingernails than lounging around looking alluring.



Circle Trilogy by Nora Roberts: Morrigan's Cross, Dance of the Gods, and Valley of Silence. Great fun. It's like Lord of the Rings, but sexy and very woman-centric.
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Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Birth control / controlling birth



Yesterday I was musing on the idea of controlling birth. Along with accusations of being selfish, narcissistic, irresponsible, horribly misinformed, or tragically brainwashed, home birthers also are accused of wanting to control their birth. Women submitting hospital birth plans get accused of this, too. You can't control birth. Birth is [fill in the blank...dangerous, unpredictable, chaotic, messy, etc.] Thinking you can control birth is delusional. Labor & delivery nurses have a common lore that the longer and more detailed the birth plan, the more likely the woman will end up with a cesarean.

Being in control was very important to me. It was probably the primary reason I chose to have all four of my children at home.

But here's what I mean when I speak about being in control:

The control comes in setting up my birth environment and the people who will be with me so that once I am in labor, the only task I have to focus on is working with the contractions. Home birth gave me the freedom to let go entirely during labor and just be in the moment.

I didn't have to fight any battles over monitoring or what I was allowed to eat or drink. I didn't have to wonder if the nurse or doctor would understand, let alone allow, my style of birthing. I didn't have to worry about any strangers coming into my space. I didn't have to be constantly vigilant to be sure my wishes were respected.  I didn't have to argue, negotiate, compromise, refuse, or accept. I just labored in peace. Being in control let me give up control entirely once labor began.

Control => autonomy

Control => freedom of thought, movement, time, and space

Control => the ability to let go entirely and to allow labor to unfold spontaneously


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Friday, January 03, 2014

Moving to France!

Now that Eric has tenure, we are making plans for our Sabbatical year. We'd like to move to France, but our plans are otherwise open-ended. Our favorite city is Nice, ideally in or close to vieux Nice. But we are open to other locations...maybe you can persuade us to stay somewhere else :)

We're open to either renting or buying a place. We'd like at least 3 bedrooms for our family of 6, but if need be we can squeeze into 2 bedrooms.

Zari, Dio, and Inga will be all in French public schools. I'll have mornings with just Ivy--such a strange thought to only have one child at home during the day!

If you have any leads or suggestions, please please let us know. We're flying into Nice on August 1st and hope to stay through August 2015, give or take a few weeks.


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