Goodbyes

Yesterday we explored downtown Toronto: walked through Kensington Market, ate Indian food for lunch, and walked through Chinatown towards the CN Tower. And yes, we went up to the top of the tower! It was our first time ever visiting Toronto so we splurged.

The CN Tower is 346 meters (1,136 feet) high. There is another viewing platform 30 stories higher but this one was good enough for us. We were so high that we could see to other side of Lake Ontario and even a few of the tallest skyscrapers in Buffalo, NY, 60 miles away! Zari's favorite thing was standing on the glass floor and looking down 336 meters to the ground.

The one photo of Zari shows downtown (right behind her), campus (center middle of the photo), and her neighborhood (the green area just left of campus).

We also walked down to the harbor front. There was a musician doing a soundcheck. We sat on some benches and listened to a girl telling her friend all about her love life in a very loud voice.

We made quick stop to look at the exterior of Casa Loma, which looks like it was plucked out of the Loire Valley and dropped on a hill overlooking Toronto. Amazing what multimillionaire oligarchs have done with their money! (not my picture) 

We had dinner at Eric's cousin's house, and then we drove Zari back to her apartment. Then came time to say goodbye. There were lots of tears, lots of hugs. Zari didn't let go for several minutes--which for someone who normally doesn't like long hugs was quite amazing. We had All The Feels as we said goodbye and went into our car and drove away.

This is a child who we've taken care of for 18 years and now we are saying goodbye and just...leaving her, in a big city, in another country. It's so weird!

Intellectually I knew Zari was going off to university but it really hit all of us last night. I've been tearing up multiple times today when I think about her being off on her own. It's great and exciting but also sad because here is this amazing person you've helped cultivate and get to know, and you really like being with them, and then they leave!

Today we had an early start and uneventful drive home, getting back in the evening. I have lots of catch up on tomorrow, between work and household stuff.

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Big changes, big city life

The past 24 hours have brought more changes to our lives than the past 11 years! It's on par with having a baby, to be honest, maybe even more in terms of life disruptions (in a good way).

We couldn't check Zari in until noon, so we first did some necessary errands: charging the car, getting her a sim card for her phone (the cheapest plan we could find!), and buying her a cart full of groceries. Then we headed downtown to see her house.

It was perfect! A professor lives on the top 2 floors with a lovely, friendly dog. She has two children, the youngest who just left for university. The main floor and basement is a separate apartment with 2 shared bedrooms and 2 bathrooms. Zari will be all by herself this week (freshman orientation) and then 2 housemates from Trinidad Tobago join her next week. She still doesn't have a roommate in her bedroom yet; it depends if her landlady finds someone else to rent.

It's on a quiet residential street with old townhomes. Out back there's a garden and patio and place to store a bike, once she gets one.

Eric looked for months on the off-campus housing listings and we couldn't be happier with this one! She's just a 10 minute walk from Trinity College on the U of T campus, and within a few blocks either way of her house there are loads of restaurants and shops.

Once we got her groceries unpacked, it was time for lunch! We ate at a nearby Lebanese restaurant and had enough leftovers for dinner. Next stop: setting up a bank account. While that was in process, Eric went to the university bookstore and bought himself a sweatshirt.

With the essential errands finished, we finally walked over to campus. While there are some ugly 1970s era buildings, many of them date to the early 1900s or earlier and are gorgeous. Zari's main building at Trinity College looks like something out of Hogwarts.

We walked all around campus and then headed to the downtown Ikea (just a few km walk away) to get everything else she needed (towels, bedding, a few kitchen items). On our way out, we saw a person in climbing gear securing two ropes attached to the top of a huge skyscraper. We thought he was going to start climbing up, but it turns out he's a window washer and was finishing his day. His last task was to secure the two ropes--probably getting ready for the next day's work. People were asking him questions while he was pulling the ropes tight and tying them to the railing. Very interesting!

We came home, ate our leftovers, and then headed out again to a nearby thrift store. Zari needed a small purse or over-the-shoulder bag and found something perfect, plus two lovely scarves to keep her neck warm in the cold weather.

We finished the day watching an episode of Mr. Robot.

It's been a fantastic day. I'm so excited for her. I wish I could start university again! She's going to have such an amazing experience in Toronto.

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Canada bound

Today is a momentous day: driving Zari up to start university at the U of Toronto! Adding in charging the car and crossing the border, it took us 11 hours. My parents are watching the other kids, so they all said goodbye--with some tears, especially from Ivy--before we left this morning.

The drive went by quickly. It's fun to have a captive audience in the car. We did a lot of talking about her upcoming year and Big Important Life Things.

We're staying with Eric's cousin, who lives about 20 minutes east of downtown. Zari's apartment will be ready tomorrow at noon. We have lots of things on our to-do list: get a SIM card, open a bank account, move Zari in, stock her kitchen with groceries, and move her in. Then we'll spend some time exploring the campus and the surrounding city.

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More milestones!

As a new parent I always thought of milestones as something for little children (first teeth, crawling, walking, getting rid of diapers, riding bike, swimming...). It's fun to realize that "big" kids still have milestones, too!

Zari passed her driver's license test this morning with only one error (stopping at a green light while turning left). Otherwise her examiner praised her for having "excellent technical skills." Eric and I have been swapping stories about how both of us failed our tests the first time so it was amazing that she passed on the first go!

Our local BMV didn't have any spots open for several weeks, so we went to another BMV about 35 minutes away in an even smaller town. It turned out to be a blessing since there was very little traffic and it made the driving test less stressful for Zari. I think we may use this BMV branch again for future children :)

She also received an acceptance letter & partial first-year scholarship to the University of Ottawa! This was for a program starting in January so she's not entirely sure she'll start then. More likely she'll defer until the fall. But it's great to start having options.

I love Tuesday mornings because it's the end of my 36-hour fast and it's the only day I eat breakfast. I had an absolutely delicious leftover tamale for breakfast and another one for lunch (just as delicious).

What else? Dio had practice about an hour away tonight, as usual. We all watched one episode of Arcane Season 2. It's amazing so far!

While going through my computer files, I found this photo of me and Eric when I was about 21 and him about 25. I made that costume as a final class project (it was that or write a paper--I'd much rather do a creative project!). Who'd imagine that 25 years later I'd still be using that costume?

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Zari is an adult! 18 years old!

Wow, I can't believe it's already happened. 18 years since she was born and I first became a mother. It doesn't feel that long ago.

She dressed up for school as a fang-less vampire (the fangs wouldn't stick!). She was worried that she would be the only one at university dressed up, but we assured her that a lot of the students and faculty dress up.

I picked her, Dio, and her boyfriend up after school so we could all go trick-or-treat together. Inga went to a friend's house before I could take a picture! So for the first time ever, we are short one photo.

Dio was Kaz again from Shadow and Bone, but he couldn't find his fedora hat. He still cut a striking figure.

Ivy graduated into Inej's character (worn by Inga last year).

Inga was a Canadian, wearing every bit of Canadian gear we could find: socks, gloves, t-shirt, hoodie, scarf, and flag.

Eric was a "lazy wizard" because he threw on a cloak (one I made years back for myself) and grabbed a staff. Instant wizard!

I pulled out a costume I made back in my university days for a class project, a reproduction of a dress from the 1770s. I haven't worn it for ages.

We ran into one of Inga's friends, who I had made a leather bustier for last time she was over. I love how she accessorized it!

Once we got back, we ate a delicious dinner that Eric cooked and then had birthday cake (made by me and decorated by the kids as a team).

We read Zari's birth story as we were gathered around the table. Her boyfriend got the entire unedited version, complete with placentas and breastfeeding and guttural pushing noises.

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Happy 17th birthday Zari!!

These birthday posts are always bittersweet and nostalgic. Zari's birth seems simultaneously like it just happened, but also as if I can barely remember it.

Halloween was freezing...literally! It was snowing when we went out the door to take pictures. We put on as many layers as our costumes would allow but still came home with numb noses and fingers.

Zari = The Darkling / The Black Heretic / General Kirigan

Dio = Kaz Brekker

Inga = Inej Ghafa

Ivy = Toothless (from "How To Train Your Dragon")

Ivy's costume was the only recycled one; I made it for Dio several years ago. The rest were Freeze Family Originals from Shadow and Bone! Except for the decorative elements, all materials were thrifted or repurposed. Most I found during the $0.75 sale and a few I had to custom order (Zari's black tunic sweater, Dio's black button-down shirt) from secondand clothing sites. Inga's overcoat was made from a tablecloth.

Zari and Dio begged me for a ride to school this morning. I relented because Zari wanted to wear her costume to school, and biking with her long wool coat would have been tricky. We're still driving around on our spare tire as we wait for the new tires to arrive.

After trick-or-treating, we came back and had a delicious birthday dinner cooked by Eric, then birthday cake made by me. Zari was a bit puzzled why I made a cat flag (from "Our Flag Means Death") but I think it made more sense when she opened her presents and saw a custom hand-printed t-shirt, made by a friend of our family's. She also got two nice shirts from Eric and a jeweler's loupe from my mom. I have a few more presents for her on the way, somewhere in the postal system.

We had time to watch one episode of Star Trek and then measure all of the kids. Zari has only grown 1/8" since last year. She is officially done growing. The other kids are still going up up up!

And if that weren't enough for one day, Dio shaved for the first time today! He had a good amount of long moustache fuzz so he asked Eric to show him how to shave. STOP GROWING UP SO FAST!

If you want to go waaaay back and read Zari's birth story, it's here: https://rixarixa.blogspot.com/2006/11/birth-story.html. Be warned that you will see a (gorgeous IMO) post-birth picture!

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Happy 16th birthday Zari!!

What a day! I sent Zari off to school in her mage costume. We didn't have time to do anything fancy with her hair. Having her almost knee-length hair down would have made a stunning addition to the outfit...but hey, we do what we can, right?

I baked her birthday cake while she was away and started decorating it when the kids came home from school.

Trick-or-treating started at 5 pm, and we had a lovely time. It's the one day per year that people are actually out en masse walking around our town (in contrast, that's normal life every day for us in Nice). I very much miss wandering around outside amidst crowds of people, running into people I know every few minutes. Americans don't know what they're missing!

We had a quick healthy dinner of peas, carrots, & bacon; zucchini fritters, and scrambled eggs. Dio exclaimed, "The best time to eat healthy food is after eating too much candy!" He had had so many sweets that he couldn't even eat a bite of birthday cake.

I have a splitting headache, so instead of hunting down old pictures of Zari, I will refer you to my blog archives. You can read her birth story and see pictures and videos of her just a few minutes old.

I had a moment this evening when the four kids were walking around in their costumes and enjoying themselves, just being amazed at these beautiful human beings we have created. I feel so lucky and grateful to have them in my life and to have become a mother 16 years ago today.

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