40 weeks pregnant

Time to come out, baby! I'm not going to evict you, but I'm ready whenever you are.

I'm pretty confident of which month I got pregnant, but I could be off my several days within that cycle. Since I likely conceived following an early miscarriage, I don't know exactly when to start counting the new cycle. I spotted for a week (when I would normally have had my period), then bled heavily for 9 more days. I'm counting my cycle as beginning when the heavy bleeding began--1 week "late" for my period. I also took a pregnancy test that day and it was negative...but of course it's an inexact science! I had a spot of bright red bleeding (implantation bleeding perhaps?) 19 days into my cycle, then 3 days of spotting starting at 28 days in. I confused this at first with a period, but retrospectively I don't think it was one.

All this meandering detail to say: I might be 40 weeks along...but I could be 39 and change or some other number close to 40. Not really sure!

I'm sleeping super well, and that has made a remarkable difference with this pregnancy compared to Inga's. I wake up about every hour to flip over, but I fall back asleep right away. I've also been taking naps most afternoons. I feel deliciously well-rested. With Inga I was going crazy with sleep deprivation the last two months.

So my Excel spreadsheet loving self made a graph of my fundal height and weight gain this pregnancy. You can clearly see the growth spurt in my 2nd trimester.

Here's the real-life belly:

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38 weeks pregnant

Am I ready for the big stretch? I would have said no a week or two ago. But my living room is done. My kitchen is also redone (thanks to some help from my little brother, who was here over the long weekend while Eric was away). My birth space is set up and the birth pool is inflated. I feel mentally open to the idea of laboring. I don't know if you can ever be totally prepared for birth, because you don't know what labor is going to throw at you. But I'm about as ready as I can be.

So want to hear some of the worries I have late in pregnancy? Of course there's the worry whether or not the baby will make it. Will the baby be born healthy? Will it have a major health problem or malformation? What if I have a persistent posterior presentation and need to transfer/have an epidural/a cesarean/whatever? (I only think about this last one because this baby loves to hang out posterior. Of course, so did Dio and Inga and I had zero problems with positioning or pushing during their labors.) 

Eric just got back from his conference this evening, so I can have the baby any time now. Eric said, "tonight would be great; I'd really love to cancel class tomorrow!"

My belly just started showing from side to side over the past 2 weeks. It's still really cute and compact, sticking straight out. Total weight gain is around 22 lbs. I'm measuring exactly on target at 38 cms. Blood pressure is still low (last reading was around 95/65). I wonder if that's why I get dizzy so easily, especially when I'm painting on a stepladder with my arms above my head. Once my brother got here, my mom made me promise to have him go on the ladder. I complied (mostly).

We still haven't found a car. The nice thing about living in the middle of town is that we really don't need a new car right away. It's pretty rare that we all drive somewhere together, except to go to church. We're still looking for a manual Mazda5, but they are almost impossible to find. We also discovered that the 2011 and newer Kia Sorentos were redesigned and get even better gas mileage (21/30 mpg) than the Mazda5. They come with optional 3rd row seats. What we're trying to find out--and none of the dealerships can give us a clear answer--is whether you can install 3rd row seats on the manual Sorentos. The manuals were never sold with the option of 3rd row seats. Is there a structural difference between the automatic and manual models? So far, no one can give us a good answer.

Still, I'm super frustrated at the lack of real choices for 6-7 passenger vehicles. Did you know that VW was going to sell their Touran here, but decided not to? It's a minivan that gets up to 61 mpg combined? And this is just one of many other 6-7 passenger vehicles that get between 45-55 mpg. The Chevy Orlando--sold in Canada but not in the US--comes in a diesel version overseas that gets up to 47 mpg on the highway. (How? diesel technology + manual transmission.) Count yourself lucky if you live in Europe or the UK--or anywhere outside North America, for that matter.
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36 weeks pregnant

I'm almost 37 weeks now, but we've been crazy busy with home renovations, working on some of our rental units, and dealing with sick kids.

Pelvic instability has hit. I can feel my joints loosening, especially the symphysis pubis. Whenever I get up from sitting or lying down, I have to do belly dance hip circles before I can move. I also ran into major sleep issues about 10 days ago: inability to fall back asleep after 3 or 4 am. I finally gave in and started taking a half dose of Unisom 3 days ago, and it's made a tremendous difference. I feel like a normal, functional person again. I haven't had any of the weird breathing issues I had during Inga's pregnancy, thank goodness.

Eric was gone all last week doing book readings and classroom workshops. He has another trip scheduled for the end of next week, getting back March 10th, and I've been realizing more and more how much I do NOT want him to be gone. He's had this trip planned for a year now, and back when I was barely pregnant, having him leave for a few days didn't seem that big of a deal. After all, I've barely come to mental grips that I'm actually having a baby. I'll be almost 38 1/2 weeks when he gets back. I had Zari at 38 weeks, so it's entirely possible for me to have a baby when he's away. I've expressed very strongly how I would really rather he not be gone, but I have to accept the reality of his being away. I just called my younger brother, and he said he could come down and help out while Eric's gone. Then my mom found out and said, "There's no way you should be alone this far in your pregnancy! I will come help out while Eric is gone." (I hadn't even thought to ask her, since I figured she'd be too busy with work.)

All I can do now is hope and pray that I won't have the baby until he gets back.

The baby has been hanging out ROT/ROP recently. Still quite active and tons of movement up front and/or stretching my belly from side to side. Zari and Dio love to feel the baby squirm and kick and hiccup. Inga knows to say that there's a "baby inside Mama belly"--not sure how much of that she really understands, though. She found a container full of newborn socks and soft fabric shoes, and she's been carrying them around all day, exclaiming in a high-pitched voice, "baby shoes! baby socks!"

One of the big stressors I had to deal with while Eric was gone was evicting a family from one of our rentals. They moved in and didn't pay another penny of rent, ever. So we went through the whole eviction process...and then they didn't move out on the designated day.They gave excuse after excuse, but still they wouldn't leave. Finally I got them out 2 weeks past their eviction date and went by to pick up the keys. They had already left the apartment by time I arrived, probably because they had completely trashed the apartment in just 3 short months.

I hauled out almost 10 huge trash bags full of oozing garbage (mainly dirty diapers), slipping on the kitchen floor several times from the liquid nastiness. They left behind rooms full of old furniture. The carpets were covered in a thick layer of dirt and dried up food. Worst of all, every wall in the house was ruined. They had let their kids draw all over the walls with permanent marker, crayon, pen, and nail polish. They had thrown raw eggs and melted wax against the walls and on the carpets. They had also tossed cups full of soda and kool-aid onto the walls and let the liquids drip down and dry, leaving sticky streaks everywhere. And imagine the insect infestation as a result of them living like that...

It felt like a slap in the face, since we had just renovated the apartment from top to bottom. I've spent hours and hours scrubbing down walls, carrying down furniture, vacuuming carpets, and smashing bugs, with Dio and Inga in tow. Ugh. Ugh. I CANNOT understand how people can live like that. We've had to completely repaint the apartment--no small task in a 3-bedroom, 1,000 square foot space. (We hired someone, since I've been too busy painting and tiling at our own house.) It's almost done now. Next up: having the carpets deep cleaned.

I'm sorry, but having 3 small children is NO excuse for treating an apartment like that. For the place to be that badly damaged, the parents had to be not only allowing this behavior, but encouraging it.

~~ deep breath ~~

I really need some cheering up after that fiasco. How about sending me something for my virtual Blessingway? It's not too late, and you can always send it by email as well as snail mail. Here's the invite again, in case you missed it the first time. I'd love to hear from you :)

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34 weeks pregnant

Some days I feel huuuuuuge! I'm not actually that big, though. My belly sticks out a good amount, but from side to side it's quite narrow.

I've been sleeping well, yet I'm still exhausted much of the time. I'm used to being capable and active, so my desire to lie on my side all day and do nothing at all frustrates and surprises me. I've found that getting out for a walk helps restore my energy. Don't know why that is!

I'm hitting that turning point in pregnancy when having a baby goes from seeming very far away to unnervingly close. I haven't really integrated the reality of another labor and birth. But I have my home visit scheduled for next Saturday, so I had to gather all of my birth and postpartum supplies. I did a final shopping trip last night, and now I have everything organized in a central location, from diapers and pads to hydrogen peroxide and witch hazel to herbal salt baths and tinctures for bleeding and afterpains.

It's easy to gather supplies for a baby, but preparing emotionally is more complex. I can never entirely relax until the baby is safely earthside. I have enough friends and acquaintances--in person and online--who have lost babies or who have had children with severe health problems that I can't take a healthy baby for granted. And even after my children are born, I still worry about their survival. I am sure I'm not the only parent who checks to be sure their kids are still breathing at night! Not all the time of course, but sometimes I just have to pop into their bedrooms and listen to their soft snores.

I'm also painfully aware that there are people out there in internet-land who are circling, waiting for a tragedy to strike me or my baby so they can pick apart my life and triumphantly proclaim that "see, home birth kills babies!" or "see, Natural Birth Advocates(TM) are so stupid and ignorant!" I would never, ever dream of capitalizing on someone else's sorrow. So I have both public and private demons to wrestle.

I'm also feeling a bit lonely in this pregnancy. I'd love to have an awesome blessingway (like this one) but if it's going to happen, I'll have to organize it myself. That's depressing. I loved Dio's blessingway that my friend Julie put together...then I had to do Inga's on my own. And let's be honest, some of my friends would love it while others would probably feel waaaaay out of their element. If only I could somehow bring all my long-distance friends together from across (and beyond) the country...
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32 weeks pregnant

Zari finally got her turn in a pregnancy silhouette! She's not quite this tall--she was standing on a small step stool. Don't you love her outie? It was even more pronounced when she was little.

Things have been going really well with my pregnancy. My sacrum/sciatica hasn't been bothering me  except for a few small twinges. I'm sleeping reasonably well.

I've started the Birth Relaxation Kit, a birth hypnosis program similar to Hypnobabies (only at 1/3 the cost). I'll be writing up a full review of it after this birth. I'm pleased with the product so far. It's created by a husband-wife hypnotherapist team. Dr. Mavi Gupta is also a family physician, and her husband Jeremy is a musician. You can read their birth story here.

My only complaint: I cannot stay awake during the hypnosis sessions! I had the same problem when I did Hypnobirthing and Hypnobabies. I usually can make it all the way through the first time, but after that...ZZZZZZZZ! However, I always wake up right at the end of the track, so I hope the hypnosis is doing its job. In theory it's supposed to work even if you fall asleep. Or maybe I am just really, really good at going deep into hypnosis :)

Eric has been in Calgary for an academic trip, leaving me on my own with the kids. Every time he leaves, I realize how much admiration I have for single parents. It's hard enough being on my own for a few days at a time. The worst is the late afternoon/early evening, when I just need a few minutes to myself but cannot get it, ever. Dio and Inga have been waking up multiple times most nights, which is unusual. On top of everything else, Inga has been really sick. When she woke up this morning, her whole crib was covered in vomit--sheets, blankets, herself, even some of the carpet. She's been puking and having diarrhea all day and developed a fever this evening. Poor girl. Despite it all, she's been acting really happy and calm. We caught her last puke in a bowl, once I learned how to read her signs (if she whines and cries out of the blue, I have 5 seconds to grab a bowl).

I started removing the kitchen backsplash. I'll be posting a how-to DIY about removing old tile and re-tiling. I'm going back and forth between a modern mosaic and a more classic white marble subway tile. I'm leaning towards the marble tile. If I get ambitious, maybe I'll do a herringbone pattern.

Inga likes to measure her belly and listen to herself with my fetoscope. (Here's Zari listening to Dio back in 2011.) I measured 34 cms today, so only 2 cms ahead, rather than 5-6 cms ahead like I was measuring earlier.

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30 weeks pregnant

Dio had to have his turn in the pregnancy silhouette series. It ended up being almost the exact same pose as last time, just with a different child!

A week ago I had a major sciatica flareup. For a few days I could hardly move or walk; I would be grabbing onto furniture or walls, hobbling from place to place. Not funny, even though I was laughing at myself because I looked so ridiculous. I've always had some discomfort in this exact same location (right to the left of my sacrum), but it was mild with previous pregnancies.

A visit to a chiropractor immediately fixed the spasms that kept me from walking, although the overall pain has taken much longer to subside. But I am mobile now, so that's great. I'm going to see him again next Monday. He also happens to be our city counselor, so I gave him the run-down on the crossing guard situation at Zari's elementary school. He's very supportive of walking to school and has been seeing what strings he can pull.

Measuring 33 cms at 30 weeks along. Weight hasn't changed this past month. BP is great and baby is moving and kicking a lot. I feel lots of big kicks near the top of the fundus and smaller wiggles and hiccups near the pubic bone.

We had a nice afternoon playing outside and then dancing. The purple dresses are from my mom. I put on music I danced to growing up: Blue Danube waltz by Strauss, Polovtsian dances by Borodin, and Night on Bald Mountain by Mussorgsky.

Dio was sad that he didn't get a dancing dress, so I pulled something out of the closet for him.
 

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28 weeks pregnant

Isn't this a fun silhouette? I love how a toddler pot belly + outie belly button looks so much like a pregnant belly. After Inga climbed up on a stool next to me, all the kids wanted to get their belly profiles taken. Soon we had three naked kids running around in our bedroom posing in front of the camera!

My crazy growth spurt has slowed down...I'm measuring about the same fundal height as 3 weeks ago (around 31 cms), so I don't think there are twins! At my last visit, my midwife a few large pockets of fluid. The baby was also floating way, way above the pelvis. We'll see how things look at the next visit and decide if I want to pursue an ultrasound or just leave things be. 

Because I was measuring ahead, she suggested I make sure my blood sugars were normal via either a GTT or a few days of checking fasting and postprandial blood sugars. I opted for the latter. They're low (82 fasting, 110 an hour after dinner), so we can rule out GD as a possible culprit.

I've been able to stay pretty active lately, going on walks, repainting several rooms, and hanging new light fixtures. We're starting our kitchen renovations this week: take out the old backsplash and install new mosaic tiles, repaint trim & walls, replace light fixtures, and buy a new oven. This last item was unplanned; our double wall oven just broke, and the part we need is no longer available. So we have to shell out mega bucks to buy a new one. (Hint: Sears Outlet is a fantastic place to shop for scratch & dent, floor model, and new-in-box discounted appliances.)
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26 weeks pregnant

My weekly pregnancy silhouette has turned into a biweekly one! The weeks go by too quickly to get a picture taken every time.

Inga at 28 weeks
Dio at 26 weeks
Zari at 27 weeks (25 weeks gestation)

Now some details for those of you who care:

I've been measuring ahead for as long as I could take reasonably reliable measurements. There was some uncertainty about dates initially, but it was in the other direction (i.e., possibly being 22 weeks at this point rather than 26). With my 3 other pregnancies, I have always measured spot-on for dates, no matter how much or little I was showing. So here are some figures from this pregnancy:

• 18 weeks: fundus at umbilicus
• 21.3 weeks: 25 cms
• 24 weeks: 27/28 cms (I sometimes measure twice, keeping my eyes closed so I'm not "cheating")
• 26 weeks: 31/32 cms

This is making me go "hmmmmm....is there just one baby in there or two?" I have my next prenatal visit on Monday and we'll discuss possible causes. I'm not opposed to having an ultrasound if there's a sound reason.

Everything else is looking good. Weight gain is similar to other pregnancies (+14 lbs). Blood pressure is nice and low. Baby is nice and active. I've been sleeping reasonably well and hope that trend continues.
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24 weeks pregnant

I'm starting a weekly photo series of my pregnancy...with a little twist.

How to make a pregnancy photo silhouette:

• Stand in front of a large window during the day and have someone take a photo. Wear a swimsuit, tight-fitting clothing, or your birthday suit for best results. (I wore a bikini for this photo. Since Eric doesn't usually come home until dusk, I set a tripod on top of a steamer trunk at the foot of my bed. I stood in front of our bedroom window and coaxed Dio, my 3-year-old, into taking several photos.)
• Use the pen tool in Photoshop to create a vector silhouette. It's faster to simply do image>adjustments>threshold, but the results will look sloppy.
• Find a digital picture frame. The frame I used was originally from a real photo, so the edges aren't as smooth as a vector photo frame. Turn the frame into a new layer so you can put your silhouette "inside" (underneath).
• Insert your silhouette.
• Using the text tool, type any numbers or text you'd like to appear on the frame.
• If you're going to do a series of images, save your work first as a Photoshop document so you can reuse the photo frame. Simply delete the old silhouette layer and add the new one each week or month. 

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Postpartum belly: 4 weeks after

This will probably be my last postpartum belly shot for a while. I'm pretty much back to normal except for a slightly squishy belly.

Lots of crazy things happening around here, but it's super late. I will save that for another day. Let me leave you with some now-and-then pictures of Inga. She is getting so chubby! She definitely has lost that newborn look. I can't believe she is already one month old. Sigh...

1 week old

4 weeks old

2 1/2 weeks old

4 weeks old

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Postpartum belly: 2 weeks after

Postpartum belly 2 weeks after giving birth

And some Inga cuteness...

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Postpartum belly: 6 days after

I stopped taking belly pictures after day 6, since Eric is out of town. He ended up going on the last half of his immersion trip to the US Virgin Islands. It felt like a good compromise; we've settled into a routine and Eric's mom has figured out how to get the kids to bed, where everything is in town, etc. He phoned me this evening to say the weather is lovely and the snorkeling fantastic. Lucky him!

6 days after giving birth

I've gone through an obscenely large pile of books over the past few weeks. Basically all I do during the day is take pictures, blog, eat dark chocolate, nurse, and read with Inga lying on my chest. And sometimes take long baths in the evenings. I wish there were a way to slow time down. I know from having had two other children that this newborn stage passes so quickly. As much as you try to capture these moments in your memory, you forget so much.

Inga is a calm, snuggly, content baby. As long as she is on my chest or in the sling, she is the happiest thing ever. It's made nights a bit tricky because she does not like lying on her back or being swaddled. She's been sleeping on my chest or in the crook of my arm most of the time. She's so strong that she wiggled herself out of her swaddling blankets when she was just a day old! But being strong and coordinated also has its advantages. She can latch herself on in the dark with pretty much no help from me--something my other kids couldn't do until they were at least a month or two old.

I switched over to cloth diapers yesterday, but it's been so overcast and gloomy outside that I haven't taken the obligatory picture with her Canadian diapers. Maybe tomorrow. I feel like I'm coming down with something, so it's off to bed for me.

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How did she fit in there?

This is how Inga used to fit inside of me, more or less. Both she and Dio loved to hang out ROT.

And lots of Inga photos because she's just too cute.

My favorite newborn shirt. It says "la tête dans les nuages" (head in the clouds).

On Dio's birth quilt.

Sucking her thumb for the first time

Nursing yesterday...and this was AFTER the engorgement was on its way down!

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Postpartum belly: 4 & 5 days after

4 days after giving birth

5 days after giving birth

Zari wanted a "picture with the belly"

morning snuggle

Zari's turn

Dio thinks Inga is pretty neat

He loves to give hugs

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Postpartum belly: 2 & 3 days after

2 days after giving birth

3 days after giving birth

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Postpartum belly: 1 day after

I've always wanted pictures of my shrinking postpartum belly. It's like pregnancy in rapid reverse! So here's 1 day after giving birth:

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Pregnancy update: 41 weeks

So, a March baby it is!

Technically, I'm just 40.4 weeks by ovulation/conception dates...but I thought I'd stick with my pattern of using LMP and posting on Tuesdays.

My belly feels like it's going to burst open. There's so much pressure everywhere that I can only walk at a leisurely amble. I set off intending to go at a nice clip, but I literally cannot! I've been having lots of crampy contractions over the past few weeks, definitely stronger than the normal practice contractions you have throughout pregnancy. I think the baby might have turned anterior, because tonight it feels like one smooth back all along my belly, and the movements are much more muted. I should give it a listen with my fetoscope; for me, that's the most accurate way to pin down where the baby is.

It's funny--no, it's NOT funny--how all of our careful plans for the birth of this baby and for my postpartum support have fallen apart. I was supposed to have around 3 straight weeks of help from my mom and then my mother-in-law. And the baby would be a few weeks old by time Eric left on his immersion trip...

Now, we're facing a dramatic upheaval in plans. My mother-in-law flies in from Alberta in less than two days, and still no baby in sight. Eric has lined up replacements for his trip, as it is pretty obvious at this point that he will not be going. Then, after his mom leaves, my mom won't be able to come until late March, leaving me with no postpartum help for a two-week period. Yikes!

I do have a wonderful circle of friends in town who repeatedly remind me that they are here for me, that they will take my children, bring me meals, do whatever it takes to support me during this time. I am so grateful for them. Now my job is to not try to do everything on my own, but to ask for and accept their help.

I never, ever imagined the possibility of still being pregnant and hosting my MIL. Now, don't get me wrong--I really, really like her. But I do not want anyone in my space until after the baby is here and especially when I am in labor! It's nothing against my MIL; I'd feel the same way with my mom and my own sisters. I am really protective of my space until the baby is born. So I am lining up friends who can host my MIL while I am laboring, if the baby doesn't arrive by tomorrow.

Besides these concerns--and of course the normal questions that arise unbidden in my mind: "what's up with this baby? why is it taking so long? at what point should I start to worry?"--I feel a deep sense of peace and calm. Poor Eric, on the other hand, has practically given himself an ulcer. He says he's been wound up so tight the last week or two that he feels like he's going to break. He keeps asking me, "are you sure you don't want to try walking/sex/spicy food/etc to see if it will bring labor on?" Now, I'm all about those things and more, but only for the sheer pleasure of doing them. Not to try to induce labor. If I'm going to take a walk, it's because I want to go outside and enjoy the fresh air. That's it. No ulterior motives. No wearing myself out trying yet another anecdotal method of inducing labor and driving myself crazy in the meantime.

Here's me, slightly disheveled after a brief morning nap (thanks to my friends who watched the kids!):

41 weeks from LMP/40.4 weeks from ovulation

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Pregnancy update: 40 weeks

Today is the first time I’ve ever reached my “due date” in 3 pregnancies. To be really technical, I won’t actually be 40 weeks for another few days, since I have a 27-28 day cycle with a short luteal phase (I ovulate around day 16-17)…but who cares, anyway?

We had a "due date date” tonight after we put the kids to bed. There’s not much going on in our town, no good restaurants or shows right now, so we just stayed in. I rented a video—the latest Twilight, since I felt like something fluffy—and we ate popcorn. Eric was totally rooting for Team Jacob. "Enough with the weepy, moronic, emotionally abusive relationship," he said.

I don’t feel all that much different than last week. Sleep has been so-so, but that’s the reality of being at the end of pregnancy. Zari was really helpful today and let me sleep during Dio’s naptime. She played quietly by herself, helped herself to an apple, and stayed out of the room until I woke up.

I’ve already started working through my postpartum reading list. Last night, I started reading The Year My Son and I Were Born by Kathryn Soper and stayed up way too late. Then I woke up early this morning and couldn’t get back to sleep, so I finished the rest of the book before everyone else woke up. The writing itself is okay, but the story is so powerful. I cried through about half of the book, and I’m not usually the crying type.

Then this afternoon I read Free-Range Kids start to finish. Fantastic book, fast read. After Dio woke up from his nap, I brought the kids outside to play and myself outside to read--putting free-range into action, right? It was right around freezing and overcast, not really the best weather, but the kids didn’t care. It’s amazing how they can amuse themselves with puddles of water and broken tree branches.

If I don’t have the baby tonight, I’m bringing the car into the shop tomorrow. Great timing, eh? I’m pretty sure we have a fuel line leak, since our mileage has plummeted suddenly from 600+ miles/tank to less than 350. I’m borrowing a friend’s car for the day so I can go to my midwife’s appointment, and we’re hoping it the car will be fixed by the end of the day.

40 weeks pregnant

 I love this photo because it shows Dio's silly side.

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Belly picture: 39 weeks

39.1 weeks...

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Belly pictures: 34 weeks

34 weeks and change with baby #3

34 weeks with Dio

33 weeks with Zari:

I grouted the marble tile all day until dinnertime. I finished the shower and floor areas and have the small area surrounding the tub left. We can finally install our toilet tomorrow. If I get up the energy, I'll finish the grout tonight. Now that I'm sitting down, though, I am feeling a bit less motivated! Next renovation task: sanding the final coat of drywall mud, priming, and painting.

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