How to get a father on board with your birth plans

My college friend Jane of Seagull Fountain has been working her way through the stack of books I sent her. Her reading prompted a blog post Does it matter how you give birth? You'll enjoy joining in the conversation over at her blog.

I've written a few things recently about this topic in Thinking, no conclusions yet and Why does birth matter? (guest post). The comments sections in both posts are definitely worth reading.

Jane emailed me yesterday asking how to get her husband on-board and supportive of her plans for a natural birth. She's had three children, three epidurals (not super great ones, possibly because of her mild scoliosis), and two inductions. This time she wants to do things differently. Here's what she wrote:

So, I am getting sucked into these books. I read Baby Catcher first and thought it was fantastic! Then I tried Pushed and got bogged down in negative details. So I switched to The Thinking Woman's Guide, and loved how simple and informative it was. Now I wonder if I need a doula, and I have a bunch more questions for the midwife I just met (and liked) today; it's a midwife (8 of them)/OB (4 of them) practice and deliver in the hospital's birth center.

But my pressing question tonight is -- do you know of any natural childbirth podcasts and/or other resources for a father who doesn't seem very interested in or committed to supporting the laboring woman (me)? I will probably never succeed in making him understand why this is so important to me, but I wonder if you have any suggestions, because I need his unconditional support, even if he never truly understands.

What would you suggest for someone in her situation?

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