Zari's baptism

Zari was baptized today.

It was one of Those Days where everything goes awry and you somehow pull through. We spent much of yesterday baking cookies and cakes to share afterward. I finished sewing the sash for her baptismal dress last night at 10 pm. And of course, I *had* to come down with fever, chills, sore throat, stuffy nose, and achy body. Great timing. And Ivy decided to wake up 4-5 times.

Also our printer broke so I had to borrow our downstairs neighbor's printer last night to print the program and the violin-piano duet that my mom and I played. This meant that we weren't able to practice the music until today during church.

The biggest craziness today was a major plumbing problem at the church: the hot water ran out after just a few minutes, so the water in the baptismal font was cooooold. Several men formed a bucket brigade and were heating pots of water on the stovetop and pouring them into the font. It turned the water from ice-cold to just kind-of-cold. Zari was a trooper, though, and didn't fuss despite the cold dunking! "It wasn't quite as cold as the ocean!" I warmed her up afterwards with a hair dryer.

In the end, it was a lovely day for our family. My mom and I both gave short sermons (mine was en français, bien sûr!) before our duet. We sang my all-time favorite hymn "Souviens-toi, mon enfant." And we feasted on Lebkuchen cookies (my German grandma's recipe) and brown butter pumpkin cake (sugar cut in half for the cake batter).

Because I am a birth nerd, I worked in some stuff about birth. Baptism is, after all, a symbol of re-birth...emerging from the water and from darkness into the air and light. It's not every day that you get to talk about amniotic sacs at church! Haha!

[Sermon text below]

Je suis très fière de toi, Zari. D’être baptisé est une décision très sérieuse parce que c’est le début d’un long voyage. C’est le début d’etre discple de Jésus. C’est le début de ta nouvelle famille quand tu prend sur toi le nom de Christ.

Après ton baptême, tu va toujours faire partie de notre famille Freeze, mais tu vas aussi faire partie de la famille de Christ. C’est à dire que tu fais partie de tous ce qui habitent dans cette terre.

Tu sais que nous sommes tous les frères et les soeurs, même si on a les parents différents, parce que nous avons les mêmes parents Célestes. C’est pour ca que Jésus nous a dit que les 2 grands commandements sont d’aimer Dieu et d’aimer ton prochain.

Je sais que tu as beaucoup étudié, tu as beaucoup pensé, et tu as beaucoup prié pour savoir si le baptême était une bonne décision pour toi. J’espère que tu a les mêmes désirs d’aider et d’aimer les un des autres que le peuple dans Mosiah chapitre 18, versés 8-11 :

8 Et il arriva que [Alma] leur dit...puisque vous désirez entrer dans la bergerie de Dieu et être appelés son peuple, et êtes disposés à porter les fardeaux les uns des autres, afin qu’ils soient légers;
9 oui, et êtes disposés à pleurer avec ceux qui pleurent, oui, et à consoler ceux qui ont besoin de consolation, et à être les témoins de Dieu en tout temps, et en toutes choses, et dans tous les lieux où vous serez, jusqu’à la mort, afin d’être rachetés par Dieu et d’être comptés avec ceux de la première résurrection, afin que vous ayez la vie éternelle —
10 Or, je vous le dis, si c’est là le désir de votre cœur, qu’avez-vous qui vous empêche d’être baptisés au nom du Seigneur, en témoignage devant lui que vous avez conclu avec lui l’alliance de le servir et de garder ses commandements, afin qu’il déverse plus abondamment son Esprit sur vous?
11 Et alors, lorsque le peuple eut entendu ces paroles, il battit des mains de joie, et s’exclama: C’est là le désir de notre cœur.

Maintenant je vais parler un peu du symbole du baptême. Qu’est-ce que c’est qu’un symbole ? C’est quelque chose qui nous rappelle de quelque chose d’autre.

Le baptême est un symbole de 3 choses à la même fois. Premièrement, le baptême est un symbole de la naissance. Comment ?

Zari, quand tu était un bébé dans mon ventre, tu grandis dans un sac d’eau. Quant tu était née, tu est sortie de l’eau et tu t’est trouvée dans l’air. Aussi, tu est sortie de l’obscurité et tu t’est trouvée dans la lumière. C’est la même avec le baptême—tu sors de l’eau et tu entres dans l’air est dans la lumière.

Le baptême est aussi un symbole de la mort—mais pas seulement de la mort. C’est un symbole de la mort et de la résurrection. Quand on est mort, notre corps est atterri dans la terre—dans l’obscurité. Nous croyons, nous espérons que, à la résurrection, nous serons ressuscité. C’est à dire, nous croyons que nous allons avoir un nouveau corps, que nous allons sortir de l’obscurité et rentrer dans la lumière.

Donc le baptême est un symbole de la naissance, de la mort, est de la résurrection. C’est un symbole de l’espoir que notre vie n’arrête pas a la mort mais que nous allons continuer a vivre après cette vie sur la terre.

Pour finir, je veux te dire, Zari, que je trouve le symbole du bapteme extremement émouvant et précieux, parce que c’est un symbole d’un acte essentiellement féminin. C’est seulement les femmes qui peuvent donner la vie aux autres.

Quand Jésus a choisi ce symbole, il a montré qu’il apprécie les femmes autant que les hommes. Souviens-toi qu’après sa mort et sa résurrection, Jésus est apparu premièrement à une femme, Marie, et que Jésus a enseigné les femmes dans un temps quand c’était interdit. Après avoir eu des enfants et devenue mère, j’ai gagné une nouvelle compréhension du symbole du baptême.

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Breastfeeding history moment: Mormon artist CCA Christensen

Around the turn of the 20th century, Danish artist C.C.A. Christensen painted scenes of early Mormon history and Book of Mormon events. I highlighted another of his breastfeeding scenes in this post about the Mormon handcart pioneers.

This painting, Father Lehi Blesses His Children, shows a mother nursing her baby. She is in the center of the gathering, her shirt opened and her breast bared.

Here's a closeup:

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Blessing Ivy

My mom visited us this October. Right before she left, we remembered that we still hadn't blessed Ivy, who was 6 months old at the time. We called the bishop of our local LDS (Mormon) congregation to let him know we wanted to bless Ivy at home and to see if anyone else needed to be present. He checked and said: "the manual says that 'normally' another priesthood holder is present, which I interpret to mean that it isn't required. Go ahead and do it."

So we gathered in our living room. I held her in my arms while my husband blessed her. One of the advantages of doing a baby blessing at home: you can do what you want and don't have to ask permission! Little Ivy was super wiggly. As soon as the blessing started, she tried to escape and see what was going on.

Luckily, I had a secret weapon: The Boob. Out it came. She latched on and nursed through the whole blessing. She popped off a few times to check out the action, but mama's milk was just too good to pass up.

(Yet another benefit of doing it at home. I have no problems nursing in church, but I imagine some people in the audience might have passed out had I "Whipped It Out" in front of them all during the blessing).

After everyone was in bed, Eric and I were talking about the blessing. At one point, he blessed Ivy to find joy in the body that her Heavenly Father had given her. He told me that as he was saying this, he felt an overwhelming impression that her body was also a gift from her Heavenly Mother. But, for some reason, he hesitated in saying it. He wasn't sure why--maybe because my mom was there? (To be fair to my mom, I don't think it would have fazed her.)

He had a definite impression that Ivy possessed a powerful intellect and intelligence, something he doesn't remember the same way with our other children.

When he gives our children baby blessings, he gets glimpses into the people that they are, something he otherwise doesn't have through his day-to-day interactions with our children.

I'm glad that we can do baby blessings at home. I've done two at home (Zari and Ivy), one at church (Dio), and one at a relative's house after my sister's wedding (Inga), when all my extended family were gathered together. I definitely like non-church blessings the best.

It was really lovely nursing Ivy while my husband blessed her. I was pouring all my love and heart into her through my breasts while he poured his love onto her through his hands.

~~~~

Now a brief explanation of how Mormons do baby blessings.

At church, the father or other male friend/relative gives the blessing, surrounded by any other males invited to participate. It looks like this:

Or like this:

In some congregations, women are allowed to hold their babies during the blessing. In others, they are forbidden from doing so. It depends on how the local leadership interprets church policy manuals. Many of us wish women could have a more active role in baby blessings. Maybe some day they will look like this:

This is why I do them at home.

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Look what came in the mail...

The book project that I've been involved with! If you preordered a copy of The Gift of Giving Life: Rediscovering the Divine Nature of Pregnancy and Birth, yours should arrive soon. It's definitely worth every penny. Buy yours here. More info about the book here.

Some blurbs:

“The diverse and profound perspectives of childbearing women are detailed in this remarkable book, The Gift of Giving Life. . . . As you read this book and reflect on its contents, you will never view giving birth as you did before.” ~Lynn Clark Callister, PhD, RN, FAAN (foreword, The Gift of Giving Life)

“A fascinating book. In it we hear the voices of over two dozen women. Taken together, they provide evidence of the creativity and determination of contemporary women in The Church of Jesus Christ Latter-day Saints. They raise important questions about gender, generativity, and imitation of Christ.”  ~Anna Harrison, National Endowment for the Humanities Winner, Professor of History of Christianity, Loyola Marymount University

“This is a beautifully and sensitively written book that speaks to the divine nature of conceiving and bearing children. The authors have insightfully imparted the beauty and joy, and the faith and trust, that is inherent in becoming a mother.” ~ Carole Thorpe, Hypnobabies VP and Director of Marketing & PR

 “The Gift of Giving Life is more than a book about babies. It’s a celebration of love, hope, and the surprises that come with creating families.” ~Tamara Duricka Johnson, Author of 31 Dates in 31 Days

“The Gift of Giving Life is a collection of tender personal journeys in birthing and nurturing new life that provide moments of profound meaning to this common yet mystifying experience unique to women.” ~Bonnie Baliff-Spanvill, Former Director of The Women’s Research Institute, Brigham Young University

Inga turned 14 months today, but it's past my bedtime...more coming tomorrow. 

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God Was My Midwife: My Interview with Shifra Mincer

Last week, I spoke with Shifra Mincer, who runs the Jewish birth site Layda Birth. She had intended to interview me about my dissertation findings on unassisted birth, but our conversation soon took a more personal turn. We spoke about why I chose to give birth unassisted the first time--and why I did not for my subsequent two babies. We also discussed the LDS understanding of the Feminine Divine (a.k.a. Heavenly Mother) and how I found strength and wisdom from turning towards her in my first pregnancy. We ended with my thoughts on feminism's near silence on birth issues. If you're interested to read more, please read God Was My Midwife.

An excerpt:

A Mormon, Freeze has the practice of speaking to God directly through prayer and meditation. Mormons have the concept of God the Father and God the Mother, a kind of Godly husband and wife, she said.

When she was pregnant with her first child, Zari, Freeze said she found herself reaching out more than ever before the Divine Mother, asking her for guidance. “I did find myself, during my birth and pregnancy, connecting to my Heavenly Mother. I was like, okay Father, I need to talk to Mother." Then I would tell her, "I need your help and guidance, I need you to be there with me for this process. I need a female presence to guide me through this process.”

As she meditated and listened to hypnobirthing CD’s before the birth, a visualization kept coming to her: “My pregnant self was walking down this long hallway next to Heavenly Mother, this serene Mother who led me down to the room where I would give birth. There I had to do it myself. And then after I gave birth, I came out another door where I saw these crowds of women who had gone through this before.” Throughout the meditation she said felt a sense of real closeness with the Divine Mother and of “needing her with me. I really relied on that heavily during my first pregnancy.”

Read the rest here.

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Breastfeeding history moment: Mormon handcart pioneers

In 1900, Danish artist CCA Christensen painted "The Handcart Company." From 1856 to 1860, around 3,000 Mormon (LDS) pioneers crossed the Great Plains on foot, pulling handcarts behind them for 1,400 miles. (Incidentally, the handcart companies departed from Iowa City, where I did my PhD. The town has a Mormon Handcart Park and holds an annual celebration honoring the pioneers.)

In this painting, you see a woman nursing her baby uncovered in mixed company. She is sitting on the left side of the painting near the wagon. Her dress is unbuttoned, exposing the breast. While this painting is not necessarily a snapshot of breastfeeding norms in the mid-1800s, it does reveal cultural attitudes towards nursing in public around the turn of the 20th century.

Full painting:

 Zooming in:

Full zoom:

I wish I had a better quality image of the mother & child. If anyone had access to it, please send it my way.

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A butterfly birth

To end off the year, I wanted to share a lovely birth story from one of my blog readers, Brieanne. She lives in rural California, is LDS, and has three children. This was her second unassisted birth and third unassisted pregnancy. 

A few hours after Annelise's birth, once it was light enough to take a picture

I woke up on the morning of August 16 feeling a bit sad, as this was my daughter's fifth birthday. How time flies! This particular day I was also 12 days past my due date. This was not uncommon for me, as my first was 16 days late and my second was 17 days. We started the day by asking the birthday girl what she would like me to cook for her birthday dinner. She said she wanted a roasted chicken and potatoes, with loads of gravy, and an apple crisp.

After I made my shopping list we all packed into the truck and went to the chiropractor for my bi-monthly adjustment. The chiro made a comment that he would "help me get things started." In my head I thought it was cute he could think he would make any of my babies be born if they weren't ready. Not in this family! I thanked him and told him I hoped I would not be back in two weeks. He agreed.

Our next stop was the grocery store. I picked up all the ingredients to make my daughter's dinner, and then we came home. I put groceries away and then Eric and I sat down to place our food co-op order. Eric was annoying me by opening every page of the website to look at every single item. I had a weird sense of urgency, but was having a hard time relaying this to him without thinking I would hurt his feelings. I finally went outside to call our landlord to see if I could borrow her oven to roast a chicken. She said it was fine, although it was over 100 degrees that day and would make her kitchen hot. I told her I would be up in a bit.

Once I gathered up my items we all piled in the truck again and drove the minute to her house. I preheated the oven, and started prepping things. As she and I were discussing the birth, I felt a click in my uterus and felt a trickle down my leg. I looked down at the white floor and noticed whatever came out of me was yellow. I am sure my face flushed red because for a second I thought I peed on myself. I must have gasped because she asked me what was wrong and I told her that I thought my water broke. We both went to the bathroom and I took off my pants and sniffed, but there was no odor. I knew then it must have been amniotic fluid.

Eric was upstairs fixing a toilet for the landlord, and just as I came out of the bathroom he was coming down the stairs. I told him my water broke, and he smiled really big and looked very happy. I told him I needed help because I anticipated a fast birth, and he agreed. Once we started cooking I had an enormous contraction, which was about 45 minutes later. The time was 7:45 at this point. I knew I had better get down to the house and start preparing for a baby, since my last birth was only 3 hours. We got everything in the oven and then Eric took the kids and I back to the house. He told the landlord he would come and get the food when his phone timer went off.

Back at our house I cleaned up the yard, had Eric set up my tent as this was an outside birth, and got blankets and my birth basket in the tent. At one point I looked out and saw my kids helping Eric put up the tent, and realized what a beautiful picture it was of the whole family helping prepare for our new baby. My daughter then came in and asked if I had put on my blessingway beads yet. I thanked her for reminding me, and then went to put them on. While I was placing them around my neck I dropped one side of the string and all the beads slipped off. My 3 year old scrambled around picking up each bead and then carefully placed each one in my hand with his chubby little fingers. I will never forget this little detail in all my life. It was so symbolic! Here is my former baby helping me prepare for the new one. It brings tears to my eyes every time I think of it.

It was around this time my contractions were pretty steady, but were not very painful nor did they require my attention. Eric left to get our food, and when he came back I fed everybody. After dinner we all gathered around holding hands while Eric gave me a blessing. I felt the Holy Spirit telling me all would be beautiful, and not to worry one bit. During my pregnancy I had butterflies follow me around whenever I thought about the upcoming birth. It started when there were 3 in my blessingway tent just weeks before, and then almost every day after, up until the birth. My husband's grandma even called one day to tell me a butterfly was following her around, and it made her think of me and the birth. She had known nothing of my similar experience prior to calling me. I could see my Heavenly Father's hand in all of this, and I was so at peace during the Priesthood blessing.

After the blessing I laid in bed with the kids and attempted to read them a book, but the contractions got too strong and I had to let Eric take over. After the kids fell asleep I stood in the front doorway looking out and my contractions got really strong and regular. I decided at this point to go outside in the tent. It was a beautiful summer night. The weather was really warm and the owls were flying around, like grey ghosts in the sky. We live on 22 acres, in a pretty rural part of California. Going outside was making the decision to join nature in something only nature does the best: giving birth. At this point I let go of all tension and entered my tent. This was a kitchen tent, which was just screen on all four corners, that zipped up so that flies and mosquitoes couldn't get in. Eric was in the shower, so I labored all alone for about 20 minutes. I really got into the flow of labor while he was gone, so when he came in the tent to tell me he was coming in and to ask if I wanted a chair, I felt a bit disturbed. I agreed to the chair, but couldn't bear to tell him I didn't want him coming into my space. When he came in he set my chair in front of me with a towel on the seat, to put my head on, I was on my knees so this was perfect for me. He then set his chair in a corner and just sat there, silent as a mouse. I could see him in the moonlight, and he looked so peaceful there, just watching me. I decided then it didn't bother me too much. Every time I focused on breathing through a contraction, I would look up and see exactly half a moon in the sky, and and then feel so centered.

After doing some pretty hefty labor dancing, I got back on my hands and knees and started pushing. I didn't feel "pushy" at all, but something deep inside told me to just push. When I did I felt the baby come down and then felt pushy. I ripped my shirt off and announced I was hot, so Eric grabbed a book out of my birth basket and started fanning me. I heard a pack of coyotes all howl in unison, and I felt so in touch with myself and with my Heavenly Father's creations. Finally I felt her head crowning, and after screaming at the top of my lungs into a towel, I lifted up one leg and our baby slipped out. The time was 12:41 am. Oh how easily I forget how painful the crowning part is!

Since Eric had made the decision to fan me instead of catching the baby, it gently unfolded onto the blanket. We had only the light of the moon by which to see, so when I turned around to pick up the baby, I swept my hand over it's bottom and didn't feel some parts I expected to feel, since I thought for sure it was another boy. I told Eric she was a girl, and he said he had known all along. I held her close expecting to hear her cry, but she just kind of made some little tiny noises. I felt in the dark and realized the cord was wrapped around her neck, so I gently unwrapped it. She then let out a tiny cry, but not much more than before. She was perfect in every way, but just didn't feel like crying I guess. In the moonlight I could see she looked exactly like my daughter! She was also born 41 minutes after her birthday.

About a minute after she came out, I felt what I thought was the placenta come sliding out, so I immediately wondered why the placenta came out so fast. I had Eric get his headlamp and shine it on the mass. It turned out to be a huge bunch of blood clots! I was confused about this part, but obviously we were both fine, so I didn't worry. I am still a bit curious to know exactly what these were and why they were so big. I didn't experience this with my previous births. About 20 minutes later I tried to push out the placenta, but it only partly came out, so I left it alone for a bit longer.

The baby started to vigorously suck her fist, so I nursed her thinking I would take a shower when she was through, but every time I tried to unlatch her to quickly clean myself off, she would start crying. I ended up sitting there cross-legged, nursing her in the dark, for almost three hours straight! Finally she was through, and so I had Eric cut the cord and pushed out the rest of the placenta. I "rushed" to the shower inside to get clean, and then got dressed and took the baby. All this time the kids had been asleep, so it was actually pretty romantic spending time with my husband, and now just the three of us.

After a few days we decided to name her Annelise Farfalla. Farfalla means "butterfly" in Italian. I want her to always remember how much her Heavenly Father watched over the two of us on our journey through the pregnancy, and then the birth, and how spiritual and wonderful her birth was.

Annelise with her two siblings

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Feminism & Mormonism: A Conversation with Kathryn Soper

We're having a great conversation over at Patheos about Mormonism & Feminism. On the heels of Kathryn Soper's essay As Sisters in Zion: Mormon Feminism and Sisterhood, several people were invited to submit short-essay responses. I've included mine below. (Not surprisingly, I couldn't resist mentioning birth & breastfeeding.)

Come join the discussions!

~~~~~

A Tale of Two Women 

by Rixa Freeze

Woman #1: Married at age 20, she is the mother of two young children and pregnant with her third baby. She is a wife and stay-at-home mother. She breastfed her children through toddlerhood and beyond, often nursing one baby while pregnant with the next. She sews baby slings as a side job and enjoys cooking and gardening. Her husband works full-time while she is home with the children, so most of the household responsibilities (meal planning, shopping, cooking, cleaning, laundry) fall to her unless she specifically requests help. In her free time, she blogs about pregnancy, birth, and mothering.

Woman #2: A scholar and musician, she studied violin from age 5 and planned a career in music until an overuse injury made her change paths. She was accepted into Harvard, Princeton, and other undergraduate schools with full tuition scholarships and won presidential fellowships for both her master's and Ph.D. programs. During her graduate student years, she and her husband -- a fellow Ph.D. student -- renovated a historic Victorian house, doing almost all the work themselves. They also worked for nine summers in France directing study abroad programs. She does the family's finances and tax returns. She continues to conduct research, publish, and attend conferences.

Which of these women is a feminist? And which is a faithful Latter-day Saint?

You might be surprised to know that woman #1 is a feminist and is married to a man who considers himself a feminist. You might also be surprised to learn that woman #2 is a life-long, faithful member of the [LDS] Church who is passionate about motherhood, childbirth, and breastfeeding.

You'd probably be most surprised to learn that woman #1 and woman #2 are the same person:

Me.

I've never fit any of the typecasts that come with being an LDS woman and mother, with being a feminist, or with pursing advanced education. In academic settings, my husband's colleagues shy away from my (increasingly visible) role as mother and seem relieved when we turn the conversation to my scholarship. At church, my multiple degrees and later entry into motherhood (at the old age of 28!) make me the odd woman out at times.

But I like these contradictions. I like living with one foot in both worlds. In fact, I don't see these two "women" as living separate or conflicting roles. And thanks to the efforts of my feminist foremothers, I have the freedom to choose my life's path -- or rather, paths.

I love that my academic interests and my commitment to mothering mesh together seamlessly. My main areas of graduate study were childbirth, maternity care, and breastfeeding. At the same time, I was actively involved in these fields outside of school as a doula, as a home birth midwife's assistant, and then as a childbearing and lactating woman.

Like the two "women" who comprise myself, my childbearing experiences could be seen as both ultra-traditional or ultra-radical. I gave birth to my first child at home unassisted, with no midwife or doctor present. My second child was born again at home, this time with a nurse-midwife in the background. I experienced the empowerment of stepping outside the medical system to have a baby -- no arbitrary rules or timelines, no one telling me what I could or could not do, the freedom and autonomy to follow my body's inner wisdom.

Kathryn Soper's comment resonated strongly with me: "It's a good time to stop worrying so much about who's a feminist and who's not, and instead focus on how women who care about gender issues can better cooperate by emphasizing similarities and respecting differences." I have found a remarkable degree of cooperation among those dedicated to supporting freedom of choice in childbearing -- freedom to birth at home (or any place of women's choosing), freedom from coercion or manipulation during prenatal care and childbirth, and freedom to breastfeed anytime, anywhere without harassment. Conservative Christian moms, lesbian moms, working moms and stay-at-home moms -- even Democratic and Republican legislators -- have united to protect the rights of pregnant & breastfeeding women.

Giving birth and nurturing my children at the breast are the most empowering, fulfilling, and radically transformative acts I have ever engaged in. It doesn't really matter whether these choices are feminist or traditional, conservative or radical. What matters is that I could choose.

For more responses to Kathryn Soper's As Sisters in Zion, click here.

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High-res images (updated)

Below are several high-resolution images of the 1871 LDS Sacrament Meeting I posted about a few days ago. The last two come from the original illustration and explanatory text in Harper's Weekly, Sep 30, 1871.

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Breastfeeding history moment: LDS Sacrament Meeting, 1871

My sister-in-law (remember her from her birth story Failure to Progress or Failure to be Patient?) took this picture for me at the LDS Church History Museum. It's an illustration from Harper's Weekly of an 1871 Sacrament Meeting in the Mormon Tabernacle in Salt Lake City, Utah.

The Harper's Weekly text reads:

The double-page illustration which we give this week shows the administration of the "Sacrament," large pewter vessels, of which several may be seen in front of the pulpit, being used for the purpose. All present, men, women, children, and babies in arms, partake.

On the left side, you can see two women breastfeeding. (Click on images for a high-res version.)

From this illustration I learned several things about the culture and practice of breastfeeding at this time (late 1800s), place (Utah), and culture (Mormon):

1) Public breastfeeding was accepted as normal in mixed company and during worship services.
2) LDS women breastfed in public without a cover or blanket.
3) The norms of dress at the time meant women unbuttoned their dresses at the chest area to nurse. In the closeups below, you'll see dress opened, exposing the nursing breast.

The illustrator seems familiar with the techniques of breastfeeding (or was just good at reproducing what he/she saw). Notice the woman supporting her breast while her baby nurses, something I often do myself.

The engraving originally appeared in Harper's Weekly.Text describing the illustration is on the upper left column.

Other posts about nursing & LDS culture:
Breastfeeding History Moment: Mormon Handcart Pioneers
Breastfeeding in Church

Other people's posts on this topic:
Breastfeeding at church: now and then at Life Inspired
Breastfeeding and LDS Church at Improves With Age
Several posts from TopHat: Modesty and Breastfeeding, Sacrament Meeting 1871,  & Inquisition Monday

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Call for LDS pregnancy, birth, and postpartum stories

If you are LDS and have stories/insights to share about your pregnancy, birth, or postpartum experiences, please contact Felice Austin at The Gift of Giving Life. She's writing a book "to encourage women of [the LDS] faith to make conscious choices about pregnancy, birth, and beyond." I'm honored to be collaborating with her on this project. Your stories can be long or short and can cover a range of topics. Please send in your stories soon; she'd like to receive all stories by the end of January.

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Breastfeeding in church

I come from a religious culture that is fairly breastfeeding-friendly (Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, or LDS/Mormon for short). No one bats an eye at large families. (I come from a family with 5 children, and my husband is the oldest of 7. There were 8 children in my mom's family and 6 in my dad's.) Many more women in our church breastfeed than is average for North America.

Our meetinghouses usually have a room called a "Mother's Lounge," a place for women to go to nurse their babies or calm crying children, etc. I've seen some really nice mother's rooms with several comfy rockers, a changing table, and a sink. I've also seen some fairly cramped and unpleasant ones. The building in my town has a tiny room that was recently converted into a makeshift mother's room. It has an old padded armchair and a small side table. The last place I lived, the mother's room was off in a far corner of the church. The furniture was from the 1970s and I tried not to think about the numerous body fluids that had been spilled onto the old overstuffed couch. It was icy cold and always smelled strongly of poop and pee. I didn't go in there unless I really, really needed to take a nap along with my daughter! Some church buildings do not have mother's lounges at all.

Although I am glad that we have mother's lounges, I feel strongly that we shouldn't be expected to only nurse there and nowhere else. I almost always nurse in the pews, unless my baby is particularly loud and fussy. Then I go into the lobby to nurse until they have quieted down. Jane of Seagull Fountain just wrote a post about this, actually, feeling that mother's lounges can quickly become "ghettos" where women are supposed to go to do unmentionable stuff like, say, feed a child from their own breasts. Read her post You don't need an inner city to have a ghetto.

I've never got any grief about nursing in public from other church members, although I have heard of women in other LDS congregations who have. I guess because some churchgoers "immodest" or "indecent" or "licentious," somehow. TopHat, another LDS mama, discusses why she doesn't think breastfeeding in church is immodest. Jane of Seagull Fountain wrote this in Comfort Zone:

let me share my joy [about breastfeeding] without thinking I’m criticizing you or diminishing you.

Unless you think breastfeeding is something that should be hidden or something weird or something to be done under cover, in that small room, or only as long as “nothing shows” or no one is inconvenienced.

Then I am criticizing you, and I’m saying you’re mistaken.

And this includes people who are afraid that exposing (young) men to women breastfeeding will somehow harm them morally. I can’t even believe I typed that sentence. It is completely illogical. Letting young men see what breasts are for will LET THEM SEE WHAT BREASTS ARE FOR.

What have your breastfeeding experiences been like at your church? Where do women usually nurse their babies? Do you have special rooms set aside for nursing or for noisy children? Is it expected that you go to these rooms, or do you feel welcome to nurse wherever you want to? Have you ever received praise or criticism for breastfeeding your babies in church?

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Watching, listening, and reading

Today I am watching a montage about one woman's journey to a VBAC. I'm enjoying it of course--it's made to inspire and motivate. But the academic part of me is also intrigued by this video in particular, and birth videos/montages in general. There's a definite formula to this type of media--the narration about a woman's journey to birth, intersersed with photos and sometimes videos in rough chronological order, the background music that becomes more upbeat as it gets closer to the moment of birth.

My Journey to a VBAC from Lindsey Meehleis on Vimeo.

I'm listening to an interview with Jill of The Unnecesarean about Informed Consent and Informed Refusal. Well, technically I'm downloading it right now.

And I'm reading NieNie, a blog I first learned about thanks to Jane of Seagull Fountain. (Her dad is cool, too!) She, like me, is LDS and a mother of several young children. She survived a near-fatal plane crash a year ago and spent several months in a coma. She was burned terribly and is learning to live with a new body and a new face (and her kids, too, had to become re-acquainted with their mother). I just found out today that she is also a home birth mama--how cool is that? Anyway, she'll be on Oprah tomorrow and I'd really like to watch it. I don't have cable or antennas, so I'll have to see if I can watch it online.

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LDS blessing rituals for childbirth

Several readers have asked to know more about the blessing rituals that LDS (Mormon) women used to hold as they prepared for childbirth. By time they reached the Great Basin in the late 1840s, LDS women frequently conducted washing, anointing, and blessing ceremonies in each others' homes; most often, this was done for a woman preparing to give birth. The practice lasted for about a century. I have found two articles that delve into the origins and eventual abandonment of these practices:

Linda King Newell. "A Gift Given: A Gift Taken: Washing, Anointing and Blessing the Sick Among Mormon Women." Sunstone Vol. 22 (1999): 30-43.

John Sillito and Constance L. Lieber. "'In Blessing We too Were Blessed': Mormon Women and Spiritual Gifts." Weber Studies Vol. 5.1 (Spring 1988): 61-73.

The modern Blessingway originated around the 1970s, when midwives used the Navajo Blessing Way ritual as inpiration for recreating a meaningful ceremony to honor a pregnant woman's transition into motherhood. Nowadays, secular Blessingways bear little resemblance to the original Navajo ceremonies.

I feel it's important to remember our spiritual and cultural practices that so often go forgotten. Until I came across these articles when I was a PhD student doing research for a history of medicine class, I had no idea that women of my own faith used to hold these kinds of gatherings. Below is an passage from pages 37-38 of the Sunstone article, parts of which I read at my Blessingway. The excerpts come from the minute book of the Oakley Idaho Second Ward Relief Society. Evidently they felt it was important enough to record word for word. As far as I can tell, this was written down around 1909.

The first two blessing follow each other closely with only minor changes in the wording here and there. The blessings were specific and comprehensive.

We anoint your spinal column that you might be strong and healthy no disease fasten upon it no accident belaff [befall] you, your kidneys that they might be active and health and preform [sic] their proper functions, your bladder that it might be strong and protected from accident, your Hips that your system might relax and give way for the birth of your child, your sides that your liver, your lungs, and spleen that they might be strong and preform their proper functions, . . . your breasts that your milk may come freely and you need not be afflicted with sore nipples as many are, your heart that it might be comforted.

They continued by requesting blessings from the Lord on the unborn child's health and expressed the hope that it might not come before its "full time" and that

the child shall present right for birth and that the afterbirth shall come at its proper time . . . and you need not flow to excess. . . . We anoint . . . your thighs that they might be healthy and strong that you might be exempt from cramps and from the bursting of veins. . .

The document combines practical considerations, more common to women's talk over the back fence, with the reassuring solace and compassion of being anointed with the balm of sisterhood. The women sealed the blessing:

Sister ___ we unitedly lay our hands upon you to seal the washing and anointing wherewith you have been washed and anointed for your safe delivery, for the salvation of you and your child and we ask God to let his special blessings to rest upon you, that you might sleep sweet at night that your dreams might be pleasant and that the good spirit might guard and protect you from every evil influence spirit and power that you may go your full time and that every blessing that we have asked God to confer upon you and your offspring may be literally fulfilled that all fear and dread may be taken from you and that you might trust in God. All these blessings we unitedly seal upon you in the name of Jesus Christ Amen.

The tender attention to both the women's psychological and physical state is an example of loving service and gentleness. That this widespread practice continued in similar form for several more decades is illustrated by the account written by a Canadian sister.

In the years from the early 1930s on, in the Calgary Ward R.S. under presidents--Bergeson, Maude Hayes, Lucile Ursenbach, the sisters often asked for a washing and blessing before going into the hospital for an operation or childbirth. In this ordinance two sisters washed the parts of the body, pronouncing appropriate words of prayer and blessing, . . . and at the conclusion put their hands on the head of the recipient and, in the name of the Lord pronounced a further blessing.

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Guest Post #1

This first guest post comes from Sheridan Ripley, a proud VBAC mom of 3 busy boys, Loving Lactivist, Positive Birth Story Collector, Hypnobabies Instructor and Hypno-doula. She has several websites and blogs: Orange County Hypnobabies, Positive Birth Stories, and a Birth Blog.

I invited Sheridan to write a guest post because of some of the comments about LDS birth choices. At least one commenter asserted that TopHat and I were fanatical homebirthers and that we were not practicing what we preach when we chose unassisted births. I assert that, by following spiritual guidance and seeking Priesthood blessings for our pregnancies and births, we were definitely practicing what we preach. Sheridan's birth stories--as different as they are from my own--show how she also followed spiritual promptings.


Each birth is different and unique. Our views of birth change over time and with our experiences. Birth is unpredictable and that is part of its beauty. I have had 3 very different birth experiences. Each taught me something important and each changed me as a women and a mother. I learned that my intuition (or the promptings of the Holy Ghost) is one of my most powerful tools as a mother. This has proven to be true not just during my pregnancy and births, but also as I continue to raise my boys. The first part of my post focuses on my pregnancies and births.

My Births

Devon: I was hoping for a NCB (natural childbirth) with my first baby. I took a Bradley class and things were moving along nicely when suddenly I ended up on bedrest at 25 weeks for pre-term labor (PTL). I wasn’t able to finish my classes, but was still hoping to have a NCB. I ended up changing care providers at 27 weeks because I felt my OB was not listening to me and my concerns. I was in and out of the hospital 7 or 8 times. One day while driving, Rob and I started talking about why I this was happening, and we both felt there was a BIGGER reason than just the PTL. We might never know why, but it was important I was experiencing this. That brought me a lot of comfort, as it was pretty mind-numbing being on bedrest.

I woke up one morning at 34 weeks and noticed the baby wasn’t moving. I knew the importance of being aware of your baby’s movements from a TV show I had watched years ago. (I think this is the reason I was on bedrest; I doubt I would have noticed so fast the decrease in movement if I hadn’t been on bedrest.) I drank some juice and still nothing. I suddenly KNEW in my heart something was wrong with the baby. I really thought I had lost him. I called the OB who had me drink more juice and told me to call back an hour later.

I “obeyed” and after about 30 minutes with still no movement, I woke my husband up (he is a late sleeper) and was crying and told him something was wrong and we were going to the hospital no matter what they said when we called back. We got ready to go, called and they set up an appointment at 1:30 pm for a NST (non-stress test). I still wish I had truly followed my intuition and just gone in right then, but we waited.

My husband gave me a blessing to help calm me down. In it he blessed that Devon would be ok and that he would come when he was ready. As soon as he said he would be ok, I felt a large weight come off of my shoulders. I KNEW that the baby was going to be ok. The blessing brought me a lot of comfort.

We got to the NST place early but had to wait until they got back from lunch. They got me on the monitors; there was his heartbeat, and I thought everything was fine. They used a little noisy vibrator on my belly to try and wake him up. Devon kept on sleeping, but it made me have contractions, which made his heart rate drop. (I didn’t understand the significance of that at the time.) A new nurse came in and said we would be having our baby that day. I thought she was in the wrong room. Quickly it became apparent that there was a problem and it was safer for the baby to be out NOW.

We headed across the street to the hospital. Rob wanted to know if I wanted another blessing. I said I didn’t need one; the first one said he would come when he was ready, so I trusted that he was ready. My NCB dream was shattered. I was thrust into this emergency cesarean situation. I am grateful I was able to have a spinal so I was awake when Devon was born. He was 4 pounds 3 ounces. It was a very surreal and scary situation. I had been lying in bed for 9 weeks so the baby wouldn’t come early, and now I was having a surgery to get him out early.

I got to see him for a few minutes, and then Rob went to the NICU with him. I was left alone in the recovery room in a lot of pain and feeling so empty. It was not the birth I had hoped for, but the farthest thing from it. It took years to really get over it. But I knew it was a life-saving operation for Devon, so I was never angry. I always say that day was the scariest and happiest day of my life.

It is amazing what a mother will do for her child. If I said to you, “will you lie in bed for 9 weeks and then have a major surgery to help somebody you have never met?” odds are you would think I was crazy. But if it was for your baby of course you would.

So from this birth I learned that birth is unpredictable; we can plan for one thing and get something totally different. That there are moments in time that will be seared in our memory. That scary things can be happy things. That with sadness there can be joy. The most important thing I learned is that our intuition can save lives and we must listen to it and follow as we are led.

Carson: I had a lot of baggage from the first pregnancy and birth. I was scared, but I didn’t want fear to motivate me in my choices. My husband had seen a Dateline show on hypnosis and birth and suggested I look into it. I found a HypnoBirthing class an hour away and we took the class. I found it very healing, I was able to let go of my fears about carrying full term and about my ability to have a vaginal birth. I moved forward in this pregnancy with faith in my body. I think that had I not had these tools, I would have remained very fearful of pregnancy and birth, and that would have in turn affected my pregnancy and birth.

I was of course highly aware of Carson’s movements. I chose to have biweekly NSTs from 34 weeks on; they gave me a level of comfort that I needed. My goals for this birth were to go full term, to have a vaginal birth, and to double Devon’s birth weight, so I was shooting for an 8 pound 6 ounce baby. While I knew birth could be unpredictable and of course if an emergency arose I would do whatever needed to be done for my baby, I still wanted to focus on what I WANTED—my ideal birth.

I was pregnant for 42 weeks with Carson, 8 weeks longer than I had been with Devon. After Devon I had said, “I will never complain about getting big or going over.” Well, I had a lot of chances to prove it that was possible. I did get HUGE. I might have complained a bit, but overall I was content. I was hoping to go un-medicated for this birth. But after 14 hours of comfortable labor I lost focus and was having back labor, so at 17 hours I chose to get an epidural. This was the right choice for me at the time and I never regretted getting it.

After 21 hours of birthing time with almost 3 hours of pushing, my 9 pound 4 ounce baby boy was born vaginally. I felt exhausted but thrilled. I had done it! Carson was in my arms and I was so proud. It was a healing birth in so many ways.

Bryson’s pregnancy: I wanted to use hypnosis again, because I knew it could work, but I wanted more tools, so I found Hypnobabies. My main goal for this birth was an un-medicated vaginal birth. I knew I could do it.

At my 33 week appointment I said I wanted to get my NST scheduled. My OB said I didn’t need it; all was well. I wasn’t sure why, but I really insisted I get it scheduled. My intuition said I needed that. I pointed out a weird rash on my leg and my stomach was itchy. She brushed it off and said to go to my primary care physician. This led into the most challenging section of any of my pregnancies. Yes, it was even harder than bedrest!

I had PUPPS, a pregnancy-related rash, which care providers don’t seem informed about or really care about because there is “no medical effect” on mom or baby. Well, let me tell you it rocked my world and stressed me out to no end, and that surely had an effect on my baby. It took prayers, blessings and that NST to help me survive.

Labor Day weekend was coming up and that Friday I went to my first NST. I almost didn’t go because putting clothes on was painful. I knew the baby was ok, so I was tempted not to go. I really felt I should (intuition again). I got there and the nurses saw my belly, which by now was a red inflamed horrific sight. They quickly got the high risk OB, who diagnosed me with one of the worse case of PUPPS he had ever seen. I was thrilled that someone was finally listening to me and caring. He gave some prescriptions.

Now, I typically do not take even a Tylenol when pregnant. Each situation is different and I have learned not to judge others, because, let me tell you, I ran to the pharmacy and slathered that cream on my belly and popped a pill in my mouth. I was at the point where I would have signed up for a repeat cesarean at 37 weeks to make this rash end. Though I have since learned that birth does not always end PUPPS, I have also since learned of more natural remedies that can help PUPPS moms, including acupuncture, which I would certainly try first if I had it again. This is a great example of how limited information affects your choices. The medical establishment has one answer and that is drugs or intervention. When a woman is fearful or uncomfortable she makes that choice, because it seems to be the only one.

That night I had another blessing and continued with my prayers. The medicine helped, I still had PUPPS the rest of my pregnancy. I slept with socks on my hands, so I wouldn’t scratch myself to bleeding while sleeping. I was naked (well, loose PJs, no underwear) for the majority of the days, dressing only when I had to leave the house. But I was able to handle that compared to what it had been. I carried Bryson to 41.5 weeks. I only wish I had taken pictures. I still have scars on my legs. I can only imagine had I not gone to that NST I would have ended up in the ER over Labor Day weekend for a mental breakdown of some sort.

Bryson’s birth itself was the most amazing experience of my life. (You can read the complete story here or see the video here.) I had my husband, a doula, a good hospital with a supportive nurse, and my Hypnobabies tools. I had a completely unmedicated COMFORTABLE birth.

I woke up at 1 in the morning with pressure waves that would shock me out of sleep. I popped in a Hypnobabies CD and was able to “sleep” as long as a CD was on. It kept me aware enough that I could stay relaxed if a pressure wave came and I could stay comfortable. This allowed me to stay well rested. In the morning I just wanted to be left alone, so we got the boys off to school or with friends. I hung out, puttering around, wondering if this was really the day. (I had had days of prodromal labor.)

By 10:30 am I decided this was it. I was settled into my hospital room with my husband and doula by my side by 1 pm. I was comfortable and walking the halls, chatting between pressure waves. At 4:30 pm I choose to have my water broken, as I was still 5cm with a bulging bag of waters (which I had been at noon). Things quickly progressed and I was ready to start pushing around 6:45 pm.

I really loved pushing. I felt like a lion roaring my baby out. It was so powerful and amazing. I was still comfortable. The OB said, “You are going to feel the ring of fire now.” I remember thinking, “I haven’t felt any pain yet; no need to now.” And I bounced her comment right off my bubble of peace. (Hypnobabies tool.) I felt only pressure through the whole birth.

Bryson was in my arms at 6:59 pm, and he didn’t leave them for almost 2 hours. Here is what I wrote about it that night…

That was amazing, beautiful, a miracle. Everything I wanted and more. I feel so empowered that I gave birth, completely un-medicated to a healthy 9 pound baby boy. He came straight from inside me—onto my chest, where he stayed undisturbed for over an hour. The first 20 minutes or so his eyes stayed closed and he just hung out snuggled to my chest. Then he started rooting around. Someone helped me get him latched on—it is funny you forget how to do these things, he has a STRONG suck—he went to town—then slowly he started opening his eyes—looking around at the world—at me, his mom. It was honestly almost surprising to see a BABY laying on me. I actually have another baby of my own. I am so blessed. He looks like his own little person.

Bryson’s birth showed me the power of my mind and the power of my body. It was such an empowering experience. It has changed the way I think about myself and birth. I wish every mom could experience a birth like that.

My thoughts about birth as a spiritual event

Birth is a spiritual event in our lives. (At least it can be.) Pregnancy and Birth are an amazing time where a spirit is making this step of his journey into this mortal world. I know that the Holy Ghost can guide us as we plan our families, comfort us as we deal with losses, warn us if something is wrong, reassure us if all is well.

I think that it is a gift that not enough people use or trust. It can be a HUGE help as we plan our births, it can let us make the best choices for OUR family and THIS birth, even if it is different than what we planned or what we had chosen for our other births. We need to do our research, we need to make our choices, but the spirit can confirm if it is a good choice for us. It isn’t for me to judge what the best choice for others is. I am happy to share information and encouragement, but I will support them in what they chose is best for them. I can’t know what is best for their family, it isn’t my birth, it is their birth!

Birth is a learning event in our lives. (At least it can be) It has taken me 3 births and reading a lot of books to get to the point where I would feel comfortable having a homebirth. This comfort level also has a lot to do with what I have seen as a doula. Watching a birth as an observer rather than the birthing mom is very eye opening. It really shows how a mom in a hospital is just on a conveyor belt of institutionalized care, getting one size fits all care. It is sad and scary to me to see all that goes on in hospitals and how a lot of the routine interventions they do actually cause problems.

I also know that if I were planning a homebirth, but felt the need to switch to a hospital birth, I would follow that impression. I would trust that Heavenly Father would guide me in my next pregnancy and birth as He has guided me through my first three. I would trust that if I listen and respond to the impressions I receive, all would end like it was meant to.

It is important to respect others’ birth choices. The more I learn and have experiences the more I realize it is such an individual thing and all I can do is offer information and support. Three years ago if a friend told me she was planning an unassisted birth, I would have thought something along the lines of "that is crazy." I hope I would have been kind enough to say, "that is your choice and I wish you well." But today I can understand it and respect it. I would probably ask some questions and see what her motivation is. If she isn’t aware of supportive care providers, I would give her some names. Then I would support her in her choice. Since I have had fantasies of having an unplanned unassisted birth in my kitchen…I would probably share that with her. :)

Unassisted birth wouldn’t be my first choice for a future birth. But I know that if I were in a location where I couldn’t find a care provider to support me in a VBAC, I would choose an unassisted birth over a repeat cesarean. It would take a lot of prayer and blessings to be comfortable with that, but I personally couldn’t choose to have an elective cesarean if it was not medically necessary.

In the past I have had the same gut reaction of "that is crazy" to moms telling me they were planning cesareans. But today I ask questions and share information and then support them in their choices. It is such a hot topic and very emotionally charged. I have a whole series of posts on moms choosing cesareans on my blog.

So, this has been a very long post about birth choices and how each and every birth is different. We can learn from our own and from others’ choices. The most important part is that we can receive guidance from our intuition throughout our pregnancy and birth. If we trust birth, trust ourselves and make the best choices we can, the journey will be an empowering one.

Sheridan recommended a few birth stories that show the power of a mother's intuition:

Here is a GREAT birth story about a mom who was planning a home birth and early in her birthing time she knew she needed to go to the hospital.

Another great story, planned homebirth, but mom doesn’t feel right about it when things start, so she goes to the hospital. Turns out baby is breech, but she has a vaginal breech birth, with a doctor who keeps his cool and supports mom in her choice.

FAST planned homebirth story, midwife didn’t have time to get there. There is a scary moment of baby getting stuck, BUT mom listened to her intuition and it ended great.

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Short survey about LDS breastfeeding culture

If any of you are LDS (Mormon) and have children, please take the time to complete this short survey about breastfeeding.

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Souviens-toi, mon enfant (Remember, My Child)

This is a song from the French LDS hymnal--it is my favorite. I am not sure why our English version does not have it. It is sung to the melody from Dvorak's "New World Symphony." The English translation is courtesy of yours truly.

Souviens-toi, mon enfant
Souviens-toi, mon enfant: Tes parents divins
te serraient dans leurs bras, ce temps ne’st pas loin.
Aujourd’hui, tu es là, présent merveilleux,
ton regard brille encore du reflet des cieux.
Parle-moi, mon enfant, de ces lieux bénis
car pour toi est léger le voile d’oubli.

Souviens-toi, mon enfant des bois, des cités.
Pouvons-nous ici-bas les imaginer?
Et le ciel jusqu’au soir, est-il rose ou gris ?
Le soleil attend-il la neige ou la pluie?
Conte-moi, mon enfant, la couleur des prés
et le chant des oiseaux d’un monde oublié.

Souviens-toi, mon enfant : A l’aube des temps,
nous étions des amis jouant dans le vent.
Puis un jour, dans la joie nous avons choisi
d’accepter du Seigneur le grand plan de vie.
Ce soir-là, mon enfant, nous avons promis
par l’amour, par la foi, d’être réunis.

Remember, My Child
Remember, my child : not long ago,
your divine parents held you in their arms.
Today you are here, marvelously present.
Your gaze still shines with the reflection of heaven.
Talk to me, my child, about that blessed place,
because for you the veil is still thin.

Remember, my child, the forests, the cities.
Can we down here imagine them?
And the night sky, is it rosy or gray?
Is the sun waiting for snow or rain?
Describe to me, my child, the color of the meadows
and the birdsongs of a forgotten world.

Remember, my child: at the dawn of time,
we were friends playing in the wind.
Then one day in joy we chose to accept
the Lord’s grand plan of life.
That night, my child, we promised through love,
and through faith, to be reunited.

To those who are unfamiliar with LDS (Latter-Day Saint, aka Mormon) theology, I'll briefly explain a few things that this hymn mentions:
1: Pre-mortal existence: we believe that we are eternal beings and that we existed before earth life. We chose to come to earth to obtain physical bodies, to gain experience and knowledge, and to prove to God whether or not we would remain true to the things we had accepted in our premortal existence. Hence the references to knowing our earthly children before this life and the wistful yearning for the world in which we used to live.
2: Heavenly Parents: unlike other Christian faiths, we believe that we also have a Heavenly Mother, that God does not exist without a Goddess alongside him. Eliza R. Snow, one of the most well-known LDS poets, penned these lines that summarize our idea of a Heavenly Mother. (The poem was later set to music and included in the LDS hymnal):
“In the heavens are parents single?
No, the thought makes reason stare.
Truth is reason, truth eternal
Tells me I’ve a Mother there.”

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