Sunday, February 02, 2014

Birth in the caul

I want to share these two stunning photographs of babies being born in the caul. The first is from a twin birth by photographer Leilani Rogers of www.photosbylei.com.*


The second photo was taken during a cesarean section and shared by Greek obstetrician Aris Tsigris.


I feel such a sense of awe and mystery when I look at these pictures. Even though I've had four children, I still wonder how they folded up inside. Seeing a baby born, yet not fully emerged, gives me a fleeting glimpse into the hidden life of the unborn baby.

This is me trying to figure out how Inga managed to fit inside of me.



*You may share this photo if you give credit and include a link to Leilani Roger's website www.photosbylei.com. 
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Friday, January 31, 2014

Things I didn't expect (when I was expecting) by Monica Dux

I caught a nasty bug yesterday and have been stuck in bed (or lying prone on the floor with 4 children climbing all over me). I started reading Monica Dux's recent book Things I Didn't Expect (When I Was Expecting) to keep my mind off the fever and chills and racking cough.


This book is hilarious. I laughed out loud every other page. I gave up highlighting my favorite passages, because about about half the book would have been marked. Not only is Monica Dux spunky, irreverent, and witty, her observations about all the crazy s*** pregnant women put up with are also spot-on. (Yes, there is an entire chapter about poo. It's fantastic.)

I've been searching long and wide for a book about pregnancy and birth that actually says something new/interesting/useful. This is the book. Here's a synopsis:

Pregnancy is natural, healthy and fun, right? Sure it is, if you're lucky. For others, it's an adventure in physical discomfort, unachievable ideals, kooky classes and meddling experts.

When Monica Dux found herself pregnant with her first child, she was dismayed to find she belonged firmly in the second category. For her, pregnancy could only be described as a medium-level catastrophe. So, three years later and about to birth her second child, Monica went on a quest: to figure out what's really going on when we incubate.

Monica explores the aspects of baby-making that we all want to talk about, but which are too embarrassing, unsettling or downright confronting. She also looks at the powerful forces that shape women's experiences of being pregnant in the west, the exploitative industries, and the medical and physical realities behind it all.

Along the way, she fends off sadistic maternal health nurses, attempts to expand then contract her vagina, and struggles to keep her baby's placenta off her hippy brother's lunch menu.

Available in Australia at MUP and Random House. and Amazon(Australia). Readers outside Australia can purchase ebook versions, including Kindle, Kobo, ibooks, GooglePlay, and more. It is definitely worth purchasing.
Read more ...

Sunday, January 26, 2014

Ivy is 10 months old!

Ivy turned 9 months on Christmas, and that seems like just last week! Wow. Ever since we came home at the end of that terrible cold spell affecting much of the US and Canada, I've been preoccupied keeping our house and our rental properties warm and dry. We've had several frozen and burst water pipes, despite taking every precaution to prevent them. I've had to call our HVAC guy close to 10 times for various things. We've been outside multiple times in below zero (-20 C and colder) weather thawing frozen air intake pipes to our boiler. I am so ready for this cold weather to end!!! We have another cold wave hitting tonight through Wednesday.

Ivy got her first hairdo today...the kids were so excited. Dio proudly wore a matching topknot to church until the elastic fell out.


New developments this month:
  • Clapping her hands
  • Making fish lips
  • Mimicking everything we do
  • Learning to laugh when she's being tickled, rather than just squirm and grunt
  • Clicking her tongue
  • Blowing raspberries on my chest or belly...she loves to do this when she's done nursing
  • Sitting on her knees (well, she's been doing this for about 2 months now). She still doesn't ever sit down on her bottom. 
  • 2 bottom teeth! We had a rough time with the second tooth. She had a fever for 5 days. The tooth came through after the first night, but she still slept horribly all 5 nights. I had to keep her in bed with me in order for us to get any sleep...and now she's cosleeping much of the night. I never, ever thought she'd be back in bed with us. But I'm being pretty Zen about it. I love cuddling with her--even though half the time it's more like pinning her down so she'll stop wiggling or crawling in her sleep--and I know this time will pass too quickly.On the up side, this past week she's slept nice long stretches at first, from 7 pm - 2 or 3 am. Then she's up quite frequently and mostly in bed with me. 

Ivy is a little jokester. She loves to be in on the action when her siblings are laughing about something. She'll join in and do something funny to get them to laugh at her.


She loves to be with her papa. More than me, often. If I'm holding her and he leaves the room, she cries and throws herself towards him.


She spends hours pulling books off the bookshelf and then reading them.


And I love this picture of Inga.


Read more ...

Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Currently reading

Memoirs and biographies

Finding Lina: A mother's journey from autism to hope by Helena Hjalmarsson. The subtitle ends with "hope," but I'm not sure I felt that hopeful at the end of the book. It was exhausting to read of this mother's efforts to help her daughter live with autism. I was struck by how much privilege Hjalmarsson had: her financial situation allowed her to live in New York City, hire nannies to help with her children, and devote herself full-time to intensive play and therapy with her daughter Lina. What happens to all the people without the resources or time for a myriad of therapies? Who can't afford innovative private schools? Who can't spend 8+ hours a day of floortime with their autistic child?

The World's Strongest Librarian: A memoir of Tourette's, faith, strength, and the power of family by Josh Hanagarne. Thoroughly enjoyable read by a librarian with a very, very bad case of Tourette's.








Catherine the Great: Portrait of a woman by Robert K. Massie. I had no idea what a fascinating, complex woman Catherine the Great was. Massie quotes extensively from Catherine's own memoirs. His translation makes her seem very much alive and relevant today, even though she lived over two centuries ago.






Orange is the new black by Piper Kerman. I haven't seen the Netflix series, but the book was quite fun to read.











Childbirth

Cut It Out! The C-section epidemic in America by Theresa Morris. Absoutley fantastic. While much of her subject matter is well-known to me, the way she put it all together and made sense of this huge mess that we call maternity care was brilliant. You realize that physicians are just as trapped and constrained as pregnant women are in navigating American obstetric care. You must buy a copy and read it right away!





Born At Home: cultural and political dimensions of maternity care in the United States by Melissa Cheyney











Misc

What's Mine Is Yours: The Rise Of Collaborative Consumption by Rachel Botsman and Roo Rogers. I loved learning about all the ways we're figuring out how to share our time and resources. (Of personal interest since we're currently sharing a house with a family of 10.) Felt a bit long for a book...would have been better as a long article, I think. I'd love to have a neighborhood tool library, for example, so we don't have to buy and own so many tools. At least we put ours to good use! I love the idea of car sharing, especially with all the smartphone technology that simplifies logistics.



Death, American Style: A cultural history of dying in America by Lawrence R. Samuel. Just started. Seems quite interesting.











Religion/Spirituality 

When we were on fire: A memoir of consuming faith, tangled love and starting over by Addie Zierman. A memoir of growing up Evangelical, of finding and then losing (and finding again) her faith.








Sarah the Priestess: The First Matriarch of Genesis by Savina Teubal. The Abraham/Isaac/Jacob stories make SO much more sense if you read this book and realize that Sarah was likely a priestess in a competing matriarchal culture and religion. 



If the church were Christian: Rediscovering the values of Jesus by Philip Gulley. Written about Christianity in general, but definitely applicable to Mormonism as well as other Christian denominations.








A Cultural History of the Book of Mormon (multi-volume series) by Daymon Mickel Smith. I have to admit, it's been hard going wading through the first volume. His thought processes and writing style are tortured at times, yet I'm sticking with it because I hear that it gets better in subsequent volumes and because his ideas are just so fascinating (I only wish they were easier to follow!).





The street-legal version of Mormon's book by Michael Hicks. Hilarious. Puts a fresh face on the Book of Mormon narratives by retelling the stories in modern-day language and syntax. I'm cracking up over how uber-self-righteous Nephi is. (Shout out to Michael Hicks: you need a better cover!)







By the Hand Of Mormon: The American scripture that launched a new world religion by Terryl Givens. An eloquent counterpoint to Daymon Smith's brilliant but very meandering history of this religious text. Givens looks at how various groups inside and outside the Mormon church have used, interpreted, understood, and viewed the Book of Mormon.








Fun reading

Thea Gallas Always Gets Her Man by Kristen Panzer. Loud-mouthed, pregnant lactation consultant meets murder mystery. The first of its kind, and highly entertaining.








Mercy Thompson series by Patricia Briggs (7 books out so far, 8th forthcoming next year): Moon Called, Blood Bound, Iron Kissed, Bone Crossed, Silver Borne, River Marked, and Frost Burned. Fun series with a spunky mechanic-shapeshifter heroine who's likely to be beating her foes with a tire iron, when she isn't having (mis)adventures with her vampire friend or her werewolf neighbor/lover/husband.  She'd probably laugh at the cover illustrations--she's more likely to be in a greasy t-shirt with dirt under her fingernails than lounging around looking alluring.



Circle Trilogy by Nora Roberts: Morrigan's Cross, Dance of the Gods, and Valley of Silence. Great fun. It's like Lord of the Rings, but sexy and very woman-centric.
Read more ...

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Birth control / controlling birth



Yesterday I was musing on the idea of controlling birth. Along with accusations of being selfish, narcissistic, irresponsible, horribly misinformed, or tragically brainwashed, home birthers also are accused of wanting to control their birth. Women submitting hospital birth plans get accused of this, too. You can't control birth. Birth is [fill in the blank...dangerous, unpredictable, chaotic, messy, etc.] Thinking you can control birth is delusional. Labor & delivery nurses have a common lore that the longer and more detailed the birth plan, the more likely the woman will end up with a cesarean.

Being in control was very important to me. It was probably the primary reason I chose to have all four of my children at home.

But here's what I mean when I speak about being in control:

The control comes in setting up my birth environment and the people who will be with me so that once I am in labor, the only task I have to focus on is working with the contractions. Home birth gave me the freedom to let go entirely during labor and just be in the moment.

I didn't have to fight any battles over monitoring or what I was allowed to eat or drink. I didn't have to wonder if the nurse or doctor would understand, let alone allow, my style of birthing. I didn't have to worry about any strangers coming into my space. I didn't have to be constantly vigilant to be sure my wishes were respected.  I didn't have to argue, negotiate, compromise, refuse, or accept. I just labored in peace. Being in control let me give up control entirely once labor began.

Control => autonomy

Control => freedom of thought, movement, time, and space

Control => the ability to let go entirely and to allow labor to unfold spontaneously


Read more ...

Friday, January 03, 2014

Moving to France!

Now that Eric has tenure, we are making plans for our Sabbatical year. We'd like to move to France, but our plans are otherwise open-ended. Our favorite city is Nice, ideally in or close to vieux Nice. But we are open to other locations...maybe you can persuade us to stay somewhere else :)

We're open to either renting or buying a place. We'd like at least 3 bedrooms for our family of 6, but if need be we can squeeze into 2 bedrooms.

Zari, Dio, and Inga will be all in French public schools. I'll have mornings with just Ivy--such a strange thought to only have one child at home during the day!

If you have any leads or suggestions, please please let us know. We're flying into Nice on August 1st and hope to stay through August 2015, give or take a few weeks.


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Wednesday, December 25, 2013

Merry Christmas and 9 months for Ivy!

A cold, snowy day in Minnesota made a lovely Christmas.






Ivy turned 9 months old today. Her biggest milestone this month is eating solid foods. She began with little tastes a few weeks ago, and now she's an enthusiastic eater. We do solid foods the lazy way and feed babies little bits of whatever we're eating. No mushing or pureeing, no nasty flavorless prepared baby foods. It's easy and exposes young children to a large range of flavors right away.

Here's a peek at what she ate today:

Breakfast: homemade waffles, strawberries, pineapple, cantaloupe, blackberries, grapes
Lunch: vegetable chowder, homemade bread, clementine, lebkuchen (German spice cookie)
Dinner: bell pepper, cracker, pomegranate seeds (I popped them inside her mouth to get the juice out), homemade macaroni & cheese, roast beef, sparkly grape juice (because it's Christmas!), more fresh fruit

She loves having cousins and grandparents around. She's super mobile and cruises the furniture very quickly. We don't have smartphones or tablets at home, so she's enthralled with all the electronic devices her relatives have. Touchscreen technology is amazing and so intuitive. Maybe some day we will get a tablet or a fancy phone...maybe...

Read more ...

Friday, December 20, 2013

Looking for people who attend outdoor births

I've been corresponding with a documentary producer who would like to feature outdoor births. They're looking for people with some experience attending or facilitating birth outdoors--midwives, doctors, birth centers, etc. More information below:

~~~~~

I work in project development Matador, a television production company in Los Angeles whose founders have produced series such as NBC’s The Biggest Loser, Discovery’s Storm Chasers and Dual Survival. We are primarily focused on creating documentaries and unscripted television series for a wide variety of cable channels and media outlets, and have funded series and projects with A&E, Discovery Channel, Lifetime, CNN, and NBC, amongst other networks.

We're currently developing a documentary series with a female-skewing cable channel about DIY birth practices- most notably, outdoor births in unique locations. We're currently looking for experts in this field to potentially consult on the project, or help offer guidance on production. Be it midwives, physicians, doctors, birthing centers, etc, anyone who has some experience with outdoor births, we would love to speak with them. We're still formatting the arc of the documentary series, but the basic idea is to follow the journey of one mother/father team as the prepare to have a child in their 3rd trimester of pregnancy. Wanting to get away from the confines and experience of giving birth in a hospital, we would document their experience of taking on this process themselves, and eventually having the child outdoors. Documenting this in a "fly on the wall" approach, we would be very hands off, and attempt to simply follow and respectfully document these expecting parents as they take on this incredible journey in unique settings that much of America hasn't experienced before.

In order to take this project to the next level, we need to identify some experts in this field and speak with them about how to go about this. If there is ANYONE who has experience with this practice, and would be willing to chat briefly, I would LOVE the opportunity to connect. My contact information is below.

Happy Holidays!


Sam Brown | Director, Development| Matador

—————————————————————————————

1041 N. Formosa Ave., Writers Bldg. Suite 11

West Hollywood, CA | 90046 | 818-261-5689 OR 323-850-3100

sam@matadorcontent.com | www.matadorcontent.com
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Monday, December 16, 2013

Recovering from varicose vein surgery

My right leg 5 days post-op:


This leg had EVLT on the top half (see the line of bruises going towards the groin) and ambulatory phlebectomy on the bottom half.

My left leg doesn't look as bad. I had some sclerotherapy behind the knee, which is much less traumatic than pulling out the veins with a hook or zapping them with a laser.

I've learned that ibuprofen is my friend. I've been more tired than usual and have to avoid jarring/jumping/vigorous walking.
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Thursday, December 12, 2013

Post-surgery fun

I'm recovering from having my varicose veins removed yesterday. I had EVLT and ambulatory phlebectomy one one leg and sclerotherapy on the other. My legs are wrapped in layers of bandages. I have to wear them for 3 days and then I can finally take a shower. So excited for that shower tomorrow night!!! I also am curious to see the battle scars...

Anyway, I found a few things of interest:

Home Birth Dads Calendar

A fun article in the Huffington Post explains the origins of the Home Birth Dads 2014 calendar, produced by clients of InnerBirth.



New version of Home Birth: An annotated guide to the literature

This bibliography, authored by Saraswathi Vedam and colleagues, is offered as a resource for clinicians, researchers, educators and policy makers, who must, within their own context for work, assess the quality of the available evidence on planned home birth. This may be for the purpose of clinical decision making or policy development in response to the international debate on safety, access, ethics, autonomy, or resource allocation with respect to birth place.

This is an open source document.

The bibliography is updated annually and the most recent version (as well as the document saved in booklet format for printing) can always be found at the following website: http://midwifery.ubc.ca/research/research-activities/home-birth-an-annotated-guide-to-the-literature.
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Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Mama Midwife: book review and giveaway!

Author and illustrator Christy Tyner has written a new children's book, Mama Midwife: A Birth Adventure. It's about about life when mom is a midwife. Christy's partner Michelle is a homebirth midwife, and their two children ages 4 and 5 are used to birth talk.


Why write a children's book about when mom is a midwife? Christy explains:

Growing up with positive messages about birth will hopefully reduce the fear created by the flawed model I grew up with. I was exposed to birth the same way most people are - through movies and television, where unfortunately most birth scenes are excruciating emergencies in a hospital that requires intervention. By contrast, my kids hear stories firsthand about whole families that participate in birth, where siblings are woken up in the middle of the night to come witness the birth of their baby brother or sister. They hear stories about the mom reaching down with her own hands to guide her baby out, about birth by candlelight in a warm birth tub, about babies that are placed immediately on the mother’s chest, and about dads and partners that provide amazing support, catch the baby and stay by the mother's side. And of course a perfect birth isn't always the case, but we talk about the transfers, too. I think they have a more realistic sense of the spectrum of birth experiences that are possible. Every time a baby is born, Michelle texts me a picture of the baby with his family. I show the kids, and we all celebrate. Their association with birth is joy.

Mama Midwife is populated with charming, whimsical animal characters. Miso the Mouse has a midwife mother. Miso watches and learns and plays midwife. She even gets to come along with her mom one special night. Here's a sample page from the book:


Zari was really excited to help me with this book review. In this short movie, she reads the first few pages and then gives her thoughts about the book. (Isn't it amazing that this grown-up girl was once a tiny baby...and now she's reading? sniff...)



To learn more about Christy Tyner, the book's origins, and Christy and Michelle's birth stories, visit the "About the Author" page.

Mama Midwife is available in both hardcover and paperback in English, Spanish, and Finnish. Click here for a complete list of distributors (US, Canada, UK, Finland, France, Germany, Spain, and Italy).

Now for the fun part...a giveaway!

To enter, visit www.mamamidwife.com and read more about author/illustrator Christy Tyner. Then come back here and leave a comment.

Open to U.S. residents. Giveaway ends at 5pm EST on Saturday, December 14. 
Read more ...

Thursday, December 05, 2013

Jim Gaffigan on home birth and life with 4 kids

This had me laughing out loud:



"We had all our babies at home, just to make you uncomfortable."

Read more ...

Wednesday, December 04, 2013

Blessing Ivy


My mom visited us this October. Right before she left, we remembered that we still hadn't blessed Ivy, who was 6 months old at the time. We called the bishop of our local LDS (Mormon) congregation to let him know we wanted to bless Ivy at home and to see if anyone else needed to be present. He checked and said: "the manual says that 'normally' another priesthood holder is present, which I interpret to mean that it isn't required. Go ahead and do it."

So we gathered in our living room. I held her in my arms while my husband blessed her. One of the advantages of doing a baby blessing at home: you can do what you want and don't have to ask permission! Little Ivy was super wiggly. As soon as the blessing started, she tried to escape and see what was going on.

Luckily, I had a secret weapon: The Boob. Out it came. She latched on and nursed through the whole blessing. She popped off a few times to check out the action, but mama's milk was just too good to pass up.

(Yet another benefit of doing it at home. I have no problems nursing in church, but I imagine some people in the audience might have passed out had I "Whipped It Out" in front of them all during the blessing).

After everyone was in bed, Eric and I were talking about the blessing. At one point, he blessed Ivy to find joy in the body that her Heavenly Father had given her. He told me that as he was saying this, he felt an overwhelming impression that her body was also a gift from her Heavenly Mother. But, for some reason, he hesitated in saying it. He wasn't sure why--maybe because my mom was there? (To be fair to my mom, I don't think it would have fazed her.)

He had a definite impression that Ivy possessed a powerful intellect and intelligence, something he doesn't remember the same way with our other children.

When he gives our children baby blessings, he gets glimpses into the people that they are, something he otherwise doesn't have through his day-to-day interactions with our children.

I'm glad that we can do baby blessings at home. I've done two at home (Zari and Ivy), one at church (Dio), and one at a relative's house after my sister's wedding (Inga), when all my extended family were gathered together. I definitely like non-church blessings the best.

It was really lovely nursing Ivy while my husband blessed her. I was pouring all my love and heart into her through my breasts while he poured his love onto her through his hands.

~~~~

Now a brief explanation of how Mormons do baby blessings.

At church, the father or other male friend/relative gives the blessing, surrounded by any other males invited to participate. It looks like this:


Or like this:


In some congregations, women are allowed to hold their babies during the blessing. In others, they are forbidden from doing so. It depends on how the local leadership interprets church policy manuals. Many of us wish women could have a more active role in baby blessings. Maybe some day they will look like this:


This is why I do them at home.
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Friday, November 29, 2013

Is milk sharing like playing Russian Roulette?

Zari admiring some donor milk I'd just pumped

I was listening to an NPR report a few days ago on how the booming demand for donated breastmilk has raised safety issues. I'm always happy to hear topics such as milk banks and informal milk sharing on a national stage. However, the reporting made me all jumpy. I almost talked back to the radio.

Quick synopsis: more women want to breastfeed, and those who can't are turning to milk banks and informal milk sharing. Milk banks are swamped by high demand and can only give it to babies who need it the most. So many mothers have turned to milk donors/sellers. But milk sharing is dangerous! Don't forget, formula isn't that bad.

I've donated milk to many families after Zari and Ivy were born. It's not that hard to ensure that donor milk is safe. If the mom has tested negative for certain communicable diseases (HIV, syphilus, hepatitis, etc.) and follows commonsense precautions like freezing the milk right away, then it's not "playing Russian roulette with your child's life," as Kim Updegrove, president of the Human Milk Banking Association of North America, suggested.

To give Updegrove some credit, she was specifically referring to breast milk sold online through anonymous sellers. I'd be wary of buying milk online, too. I value the person-to-person contact involved in milk sharing.

I also take issue with the assertion that every ounce of milk donated informally or sold online is one less ounce to a milk bank. I don't have time or desire to drive my milk to the nearest bank, which is a 2 hour drive roundtrip. And while I think that milk banks are fantastic, the cost of milk is over $4/oz, sometimes much more. That's over $100/day for an average baby! I love that I can help other mothers out for free.

What bothered me the most, though, was how the report pushed formula at the very end:

In the meantime, even nursing proponents like Updegrove and Tucker maintain that when nursing fails emphasize that formula remains a good and safe choice for full-term, healthy babies. They say donor breast milk should be preserved for the babies who need it most: babies who are premature, allergic, or have digestive problems.

"Formula sometimes doesn't have to be the four-letter word," Tucker says. "Sometimes it's necessary and that's OK. And sometimes we need to let moms know that's OK, you're still doing the best you can do."


Informal milk sharing isn't a zero sum game. Milk is a free-flowing resource, and milk sharing can be very safe. Women who seek donor milk feel strongly that formula is not as "good and safe" as it's made out to be--that's why they're looking for alternatives to formula in the first place!

If you're looking to donate or receive donor breast milk, you can try:



Read more ...

Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Ivy is 8 months old!

I know these updates are probably more exciting to me than to anyone else, but it's so fun to have a record of my childrens' babyhood.

Ivy is busy getting into everything: pulling open cabinet drawers, opening doors (if they're not latched shut), climbing up stairs, pulling dirt out of my houseplants and then eating it if I'm not fast enough, climbing underneath and through the kitchen table and chairs in search of every stray crumb of food. She loves to pull the toilet paper off the roll, rip it into pieces, and stuff it into her mouth. She loves taking baths and showers. She has also acquired some new tricks: waving "hi" at people and shaking her head as if she were saying "no."

She likes to crawl fast...it's hard to get good pictures because she's always on the move.



With a little help with water and a comb, Ivy's hair stands up in a mohawk. Dio has now started asking for the same hair style.

She's become really attached to Eric and will often fuss when he leaves the room, even if I'm there. She does the same for me, too, but I like that she cares about her Papa :) She's become more accustomed to our houseguests. She will happily play with them and walk around in their arms...most of the time.

Sleep is getting better! I don't know why it happened or what I did/didn't do...but Ivy has started sleeping longer stretches. Many nights she wakes around 12 am, 4, and 6:30 (or 1, 5, and 6:30) and is up for the day around 7 am. If she wakes up before I am in bed, I let her fuss. It's worse if either of us go in to help her, and she's done pretty well at lying herself back down and going back to sleep. Usually, though, she doesn't wake up until well into the night. If she wakes up soon after I've nursed her, I bring her into bed with me and snuggle her in the crook of my arm or lay her next to me and hold her hand. She gets really mad and cries for a few minutes, then conks out.

I haven't started feeding her solid foods yet, but she's pretty intrepid about finding morsels on her own. If they're safe, I might let her eat them. She's started getting carrot sticks, celery sticks, and apples to suck on.

Here's a video of her growling. She hasn't done it as much the past few weeks. Inga loves to say, "I love that Ivy!" as if there were another Ivy and she had to point out which one she meant.



And one of her crawling



And one of Dio "reading" a book to Inga


Read more ...

Saturday, November 23, 2013

Participants needed for alternative breastfeeding study

I just received notice that a researcher is looking for women to interview about their "alternative" breastfeeding experiences. Details below!

Alternative Breastfeeding Study 

I'm seeking to interview all kinds of folks breastfeeding in "alternative" ways:
  • co-feeding
  • milk donors and recipients
  • adoptive parents breastfeeding
  • lesbian couples breastfeeding
  • re-lactators (e.g., older aunts, grandmothers breastfeeding)
  • trans breastfeeding
I am interested in interviewing folks who are currently nursing or who did so in the past or who are considering it right now (because a pregnancy or adoption is in process) or considered it seriously in the past. The interviews are confidential, take about an hour and a half, and the results are completely anonymous. I have ethics board approval and research ethic certifications.  If interested in volunteering, please email or text krwilson@cabrillo.edu, 831-334-2258.

Kristin J. Wilson, Ph.D.
Program Chair, Anthropology
Author of "Not Trying: Infertility, Childlessness, and Ambivalence," forthcoming from Vanderbilt University Press, Fall 2013
Read more ...

Monday, November 18, 2013

Birth Relaxation Kit: a complete birth hypnosis program

On last month's post about my experiences using birth hypnosis, I mentioned that I used the Birth Relaxation Kit during Ivy's pregnancy and birth. The company's founders, a husband-wife team of certified hypnotherapists, generously donated the program for me to test out and review.

Dr. Mavi Gupta, a board-certified physician and hypnotherapist, created the Birth Relaxation Kit along with her husband Jeremy Dyen, a musician and hypnotherapist. They combined their medical, musical, and hypnosis training to create an effective, affordable birth hypnosis program.

When Mavi was pregnant with her first baby, she had originally planned a hospital birth with an epidural. However, exposure to birth hynposis helped her and Jeremy look into other options, and they ultimately decided to have a home birth with a midwife. She writes:
On February 7th, in the middle of winter, our daughter Anjali was born at home with our midwives and doula in attendance. The birth of our daughter turned out to be a beautiful, blissful and amazing experience.  It was the most intense experience of my life, yet I did not experience pain. I birthed Anjali on the day I envisioned and labored at the time I had envisioned as well, in the peacefulness and privacy of my own home. We felt truly blessed.

After the birth, my husband Jeremy and I became inspired to train in hypnosis so that we could develop our own hypnobirthing methods and empower women who want to have a natural birth process without fear.  We each became certified in hypnosis, accredited by the International Certification Board Of Clinical Hypnotherapy (ICBCH).  Our continued work in this field combined with the feedback we have received over the years help us continually refine our program.

Unlike most other hypnobirthing programs, we offer extensive experience in medicine and music in addition to hypnotherapy. I am a board certified physician with extensive pain training and Jeremy has over 20 years experience composing music for meditation and yoga. We have blended this experience along with our personal experience using these techniques to bring you a quality program that will change your life.

The Birth Relaxation Kit is a complete birth hypnosis program and comes in three different packages: Basic ($49), Plus ($79), and Deluxe ($499).


The Basic package has everything you need to learn and practice hypnosis techniques for your labor and birth.

If you'd like personalized one-on-one support, you can order the Deluxe package ($499). It includes all the materials from the Plus package, as well as a personalized hypnosis mp3, 2 phone consultations, and 2 phone or Skype hypnosis sessions.

I reviewed the Plus package while it was in the final stages of development, so I received everything except the sleep and postpartum mp3s.

~~~~~

I highly recommend the Birth Relaxation Kit. Mavi narrated all of the hypnosis tracks, and her voice was soothing and calming. (Sometimes the narrator of the Hypnobabies program got on my nerves, so I was really picky when testing out the BRK).

Jeremy composed all of the music for the BRK. I'm a trained musician, and I cannot focus on anything else if the background music is too loud. Fortunately, the Birth Relaxation Kit's music was at the perfect volume: audible but never dominant or distracting. I sensed rather than heard the music when Mavi was speaking. Exactly how it should be.

I found the Birth Relaxation Kit incredibly relaxing during pregnancy. I've used hypnosis for all my labors during the early stages. However, the main value of hypnosis, for me, came in the daily deep relaxation during the final months of pregnancy. Hypnosis pulled me through the normal worries of pregnancy, terrible bouts of sleeplessness, and anxiety over various concerns (Dio's breech presentation, possible GD during Inga's pregnancy, etc.).

If you are looking for an affordable alternative to hypnosis classes or self-study programs such as Hypnobabies, the Birth Relaxation Kit is exactly what you need. 

 ~~~~~

I've been reflecting on Ivy's birth. Every new detail I remember leads me to suspect that she was posterior the entire labor and for most of pushing. I never felt the amazing, pleasurable high between contractions that I was used to experiencing from my three previous labors. I could tell that the endorphins and other hormones were still there, but they manifested as dizziness rather than as "la-la-ahhhhhh" goodness. I never felt a complete break between contractions. The intensity and pain lessened, but never faded away entirely. I also had constant rectal pressure for most of my labor.

Ivy's labor was definitely my most challenging, although not the longest or the shortest. I wonder how much more intense the birth might have been, had I not done daily hypnosis sessions with the Birth Relaxation Kit.

~~~~~


To end the review, I want to include some of my correspondence with Jeremy. We were discussing our motivations for using hypnosis. I mentioned that my main goal wasn't to avoid pain; it was to embrace every sensation without judgment. He responded:

That you touch on the fact that your goal was not to avoid pain or have a "comfortable" birth, and that those goals are contrived, is so honest....I love that you want to "let birth be what it will be" and "to accept every sensation without judgment, fear or anxiety." I think undoing the fear and anxiety are the most important elements of our program (and, if I may speak for Madhavi, my wife, her birth experience). But to say you "accept every sensation without judgment, fear or anxiety," is so eloquent and speaks directly to birthing itself, not just the fear and anxiety that is felt during pregnancy.

~~~~~

The Birth Relaxation Kit is available as an instant download here.
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Monday, November 11, 2013

Sleep update

Thanks for all your advice and, better yet, your expressions of sympathy and solidarity. I haven't made any decisions about what my strategy will be--or if I even have a strategy besides wait until it gets better.

Ivy has skipped her 1 am waking several times since I posted last. Here's to hoping the trend continues! On the downside, she's getting speedier at standing up as soon as she wakes. Not good.

I think it would help to put her in a separate room, but that isn't logistically possible right now. Maybe I'll try rearranging everyone in a few months. It would mean moving Inga in the same room with Zari and Dio. Inga is a wild card (remember we have to lock her in her room so she doesn't get out 20 times a night?). Putting her with her siblings might not be a great idea until she's a bit older.

Eric just had a good idea: move Inga into our bedroom so Ivy can sleep in a separate room. Inga is a pretty sound sleeper, so we won't disturb her nearly as much as we disturb Ivy. Brilliant...I might have to try it sooner rather than later!  

~~~~~

Lots of people had questions or suggestions that I'll answer here.

Is Ivy overtired? Does she nap well? What about changing nap times or bedtime?
Ivy naps twice during the day, morning and afternoon. I think she's getting plenty of sleep overall, and her naps come when she needs them. She gets 2-3 hours of naps during the day and around 12 hours at night. In this regard, she's on the same schedule as my other kids at the same age.

Someone suggested moving her bedtime several hours later to coincide with my bedtime, but that would be a total nightmare for us. She really is ready to sleep at 7 pm, and I need those evening hours to prep for class. It's the only time I have during the day.

Food allergies or sensitivities?
I highly doubt this is a culprit. Ivy's sleep pattern has been pretty consistent for months, with slight fluctuations or gradual changes. Nothing in her overall behavior or health points to food sensitivities or allergies. I also haven't changed anything in my diet or introduced new foods.

No-cry sleep solution
I read it a few years ago. I probably should revisit it in case there are useful suggestions that I haven't thought of. I remember it being okay, but not revolutionary. (Edit: I looked back through older posts and found it very helpful when Dio was little...so my memory is not all that reliable!)

Pacifier/soother/dummy
She thinks they're a cool chew toy, but she's never figured out how to suck on one.

Teething?
Don't think so. But I've never been able to tell my kids were teething until the tooth popped through!

Change the sleep environment (different PJs, temperature, white noise, etc)
The room is fairly cool in the winter, so I dress her warmly in two layers plus a blanket swaddled around her torso. I think that's just about right for her. I just switched our noise machine to ocean sounds. I'm not sure it made much of a difference, but I was getting tired of the plain white noise!

Eating solids yet?
Nope. Except for stuff she scrounges off the floor. You know, yummy things like paper and dirt :) She'll start eating "real" food soon enough, but I like waiting until my kids are very insistent.

Hotel night or sleep doula?
I don't think I could do that (hotel night) to Ivy yet. And I've never even heard of a sleep doula...

~~~~~

I've gone through periods of desperation with all of my kids, usually in the 6-12 month stage. It gets better, then worse, then better, then worse, and finally one day your child sleeps all night long. Amazing.

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Wednesday, November 06, 2013

Help

Remember how in Ivy's 7-month update I mentioned that sleep was still an issue, but that I was dealing with it?

Well, I take that all back. I think I am going to go crazy. I've never had such a bad sleeper, and I can't think of anything that would make it better. Everything we try makes it worse.

Last night, for example, she woke up around 11 pm. I nursed her and put her back in the crib. 15 minutes later, she woke up again. I asked Eric to help, since I was just so tired. He patted her on the back for an hour. She was still wide awake, so I swaddled one of her arms and snuggled her in bed with me. She cried for more than an hour. Finally at 2 am, she fell asleep--for only 5 minutes. When she woke up again, I finally gave up and nursed her so I could get some sleep. Even with being awake for several hours and therefore exhausted, she woke up again to nurse at 5:30 am. (And then my alarm accidentally went off at 6 am, and I didn't get back to sleep after that. Curses. It was a terrible night.)

Ivy's basic pattern is to sleep from 7-11pm. From then on, she wakes up every 1-2 hours all night long. The ONLY thing that will settle her back down is nursing. Sometimes she wakes up just 10-15 minutes after I've nursed her, and the craziness starts all over again.

If she wakes up before 11 pm, she will usually fuss herself back to sleep. She's never once gone back to sleep without nursing after 11 pm. Never.

Anything we do (short of me nursing her) makes it so much worse. Patting...rocking...snuggling her in bed...bouncing...singing...swaddling...not swaddling...all terrible. She works herself into a frenzy no matter what we try. She also stands up in her crib if we don't get her right away. Then she's wide awake and either really mad or ready to have a party.


Ivy is a super light sleeper. When I creep into the room at night, I often wake her up. I slide ever so slowly into bed, moving the covers carefully so they don't rustle. I try to avoid any squeaky spots in the floor. She has a white noise machine next to her crib going all night long. But still, she wakes with just about any movement we make.

Because we have 10 extra people living with us right now, I can't put her in another room.  Plus the thought of having to get out of bed, walk down the hall, nurse her, and then come back to bed 5-6 times a night is too terrifying to contemplate.

I wish cosleeping would solve the problem, but I had to put her in the crib next to my bed a few months ago. She became so wiggly that no one was sleeping well. Plus she sleeps better in the crib on her stomach than next to me in bed.

I could just keep nursing her every single time she wakes up, but sometimes it reaches point of ridiculousness. I'd also like her to not be entirely dependent on nursing at night to settle down. Most of the time? Sure. But not every single time.

But if I don't nurse her, it's 100 times worse. I would like her to sleep more than 1-2 hours at a time. I don't think she's waking up that often because she's hungry. It's habitual, and I don't know what her reset button is. I'm not even asking for her to sleep through the night. Just 3-4 hours at a time. Even having one 4-hour stretch of sleep would be positively amazing. Is that too much to ask?

The most depressing thing is that no matter how much I declare that I've had it, that something has to give, I can never give up. I can't put a pillow over my head or go sleep in another room. I'm the only one who can help her. Believe me, if Eric tries, it's a disaster for all parties involved. Nothing but nursing will settle her down.

So, help? Please?

ps-- thanks for slogging through my long rant. I'm not necessarily expecting any useful advice, because frankly I don't see how anything could help right now.
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