Inga's weaning party

With both Zari and Dio, we celebrated the end of their nursing years with a "nursing cake." Zari, at 3 1/2, chose a strawberry cake from a patisserie (we were spending the summer in Nice, France). Dio, just over 3, wanted a Lightning McQueen cake.

Inga weaned herself relatively early at just over 2 years. Before Ivy was born, she wasn't nursing much, maybe 10-15 seconds at naps and bedtime. Her latch had become really lazy. I wondered if she would remember how to nurse once my milk came in after Ivy was born. After the birth, Eric put Inga down for naps and bed, so we didn't even get to try.

After a few weeks, I started putting her down for naps, and she asked to nurse. She put the nipple in her mouth, made a few half-hearted sucks, then just sat there. She had forgotten how. When my milk let down, she stopped sucking, like "what on earth is going on here?"

She nursed maybe a few other times--if you can even call it that. She never really asked, and I didn't offer. I don't know exactly the last time she nursed...maybe 2 months ago?

So it was time to make her a nursing cake. We baked the cake on Sunday, frosted it on Tuesday, and finally ate it tonight. Inga has been talking about it all week: "My eat nursing cake. Nursing cake for me."

Zari's nursing cake

Dio's nursing cake

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In search of the perfect pajamas...Majamas

Next in line in my search for the perfect pajamas was this set from Majamas, the Blossom nursing pajama set. These pajamas are now discontinued, but it's similar to the Majamas Genna line.

What I like about these pajamas:The fit and cut are pretty much perfect. The top hugs my curves nicely, so I don't feel frumpy (there's nothing worse than feeling frumpy in your pajamas). The fabric has the perfect amount of give. The pants fit just right everywhere.

I purposely bought something with a pattern, because solid fabrics show breastmilk and spit up stains too easily. I like that this pattern hides just about everything. 

What I don't like:
The fiber content is 92% polyester / 8% spandex. Why oh why would anyone ever make pajamas out of synthetic fabric? I didn't realize these were polyester, or I probably wouldn't have bought them. I don't like sleeping in polyester; it feels like you're always sweaty.

I looked at the new Genna line of pajamas. They're made with a new fiber called Modal, which is made from cellulose that comes from beech trees. I imagine it would be much more breathable and absorbent than polyester.

What puzzles me:
These weird circular cutouts in the inside of the top.

I have no idea what they're for. My best guess is that they're holes for holding nursing pads? But that would only work if you're not wearing a sleep bra, and I always wear one for the first 6-9 months or so, maybe even longer. (The new Genna line says it has "discreet inner nursing panels," so they must have re-engineered the top's design. I still think it's way easier to just pull the neck aside than to fuss with nursing panels.)

Even though I dislike the polyester fabric, I still wear these a lot during cooler nights. I like that they cover enough to be comfortable around houseguests.

Retails for $62. I bought mine at Zulily for $35.
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Ivy at 3 1/2 months

I am interrupting my pajama series to give you some uber cute pictures of Ivy. I took these this morning on my bed with my Nikon portrait lens (f2.2, iso 400, shutter speed around 80-100). I am limited on what angles I can shoot at since I don't have a backdrop.

It's been super hot here. We've been swimming at friends' pools almost every day and playing in the sprinkler most afternoons. It's been really dry but is still very humid. That has never made sense to me.

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In search of the perfect pajamas...Leading Lady Nursing Chemise

[Continued from Part I: Angel Sleep Nursing Tank Nightie]

My next pajama purchase was a Leading Lady Nursing Chemise in Azalea.

It's like a nursing tank--built-in shelf bra that unclips just like a nursing bra does--but it's long enough to be a nightgown. The hem hits mid-thigh.

We're in the middle of hot, humid summer weather, and this nursing chemise is fantastic. Just enough fabric to cover the essentials. I love how cool a true tank top style nightgown is. I've always worn scrubs/yoga pants and shirts for pajamas. Removing all that extra fabric feels fantastic.

It's also really nice not needing to wear a sleep bra with this chemise. The fabric is soft, absorbent and very stretchy with 92% cotton and 2% spandex.

Definitely a thumbs-up!

I should add that when I first wore this to bed, Eric was like "oooooooh Rixa!" and scooted closer to snuggle. So who knew that a nursing tank = lingerie?

I bought this nursing chemise on Zulily for $16.99. Normally retails at Leading Lady for $34.

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In search of the perfect nursing pajamas...Angel Sleep Nursing Tank Nightie

I don't ever remember buying myself proper pajamas. I've always worn old scrubs or secondhand yoga pants. When I was pregnant with Ivy, I decided that I deserved a really nice nightgown or pajamas. Problem is, I live in a small town that has basically one clothing store: Walmart. No thank you. I was stuck buying things online and hoping I liked them.

Today's review is about the Angel Sleep Nursing Tank Nightie in charcoal/pink, made by Breast is Best. I bought it at Zulily for $25; normal retail is $36. The fabric is a soft and stretchy 92% cotton 8% lycra.

I really like the nightgown. It's soft, comfortable, and cool in hot, sticky summer weather.

But it has one big flaw: a neckline that's easily stretched out. Breast is Best advertises that "the gentle elastic in the crossover top is pulled aside to nurse with ease." Well, there's no elastic in the neckline at all, just the knit edge binding. It's stretchy, but it's not made of elastic. And here's the result after just one night of use:

Pardon the gray, threadbare, stretched-out nursing bra peeking out underneath! The nightgown was this stretched out after just one night. After the second night, my breasts were basically hanging out.

Fortunately, I am skilled with a sewing machine. I spent a few hours taking apart the entire neckline, gathering each side with narrow elastic, and then reapplying the knit edge binding. I took 8" total off the neckline, 4" on each side. It looks much better now.

I wrote in to Breast is Best's customer service with my detailed feedback; they responded that they will "look closely into the neckline and hope that we can make it better. I have been selling this nightie for many years and this is the first negative feedback I have received."

It's really too bad the neckline isn't more resilient. I like everything else about this nursing nightgown, and I still wear it a lot.
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What do you like about your body?

You might have noticed the recent silence here--I've been busy going on long road trips to visit family. We got back from a 2-week trip to Minnesota and Wisconsin and left town a few days later to drive to northern Ohio.

I was invited to give a presentation about body image and visual media to a group of 120 teenage girls. They were on a week-long campout and had to be evacuated yesterday evening to a nearby church building due to tornadoes and flooding. I gave my presentation this morning, after they'd spent the night sleeping on the floor of the church. Here's an overview of what we talked about:

First, I did a really fast tour through 200 years of Western women's fashion, including Regency, Civil War, and Victorian eras, the Flapper girls of the 1920s, Christian Dior's post-WWII "new look", the lean and leggy 1960s, and current-day supermodels. I displayed pictures of both undergarments and outer clothing to show the girls how drastically the ideal female body has morphed from decade to decade. We looked at average heights and weights of the ideal female body early in this century, compared to today.

We also looked at what body types are marketed to females (uber-slim supermodels) and to males (curvy, busty women with small waists) versus the average American woman. I highlighted some issues raised by former Vogue editor Kirstie Clements; over the past two decades, she has seen models' bodies dramatically slim down, to the point that today's models often faint multiple times during photoshoots and spend a lot of time in hospitals due to near-starvation. I discussed how the majority of American females are dissatisfied with their bodies, due in large part to unattainable beauty ideals.

Next, we discussed our exposure to visual media and how extensive digital manipulation and photoediting is. I used the brilliant site Beauty Redefined for this segment of my presentation, particularly their before and after photoshop exposes. This segment was super, super fun--the girls really got into comparing the before and after images. I also showed some still photos from the Dove Evolution commercial (I didn't have video capability so had to do everything on Powerpoint).

After looking at these images, we talked about how to counteract the sea of visual media that we swim in every day. I showed them this photographer's project: "I like my body because it's magic!" She asked 4-9 year old girls what they liked about their bodies. Their answers were fascinating--they all discussed their bodies in terms of what they could do and experience, not in terms of what they looked like.

I suggested that if we can learn to dislike our bodies and to relate to them primarily in terms of what they look like, we can also deliberately unlearn and reject those attitudes. I emphasized that we need to learn to love our bodies for what they can DO, CREATE, and EXPERIENCE, not for what they look like.

I had so much fun giving the presentation. The girls were very lively and were practically jumping out of their seats to make comments or ask questions.

I know how hard it is to truly feel positively about your body. I've taken multiple graduate courses on these very topics, learned the tools to analyze and break apart visual media and advertising, and yet I still have more negativity than I'd like towards my body. So I get it. It's not just as simple as deciding you'll love your body and poof! you're done.

I shared with the girls that I am 35 years old and I still have many moments where I get frustrated with my body. I don't like how fluffy and bulging my stomach is right now, 3 months postpartum. I have to remind myself that that same body grew four new lives, brought four babies into the world, and nursed four babies. And that's really, really amazing. I had Ivy with me, so they were able to coo over her afterwards.

I'd like to hear how you relate to your body, what you've done for yourself or for your children to counteract the damaging media culture we live in. What has helped? What resources do you like? How can we stay sane when we see an average of 600 photoshopped images per day?

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NüRoo Pocket (babywearing shirt)

When Ivy was 4 weeks old, NüRoo founder Daniela Jensen sent me a NüRoo Pocket to test out and review.

I was super excited when I found out that babywearing shirts existed. I'd been searching for something that would hold my baby skin-to-skin and keep me clothed at the same time.

The NüRoo Pocket consists of a stretchy wraparound shirt with 3/4 length sleeves and velcro closures, plus a separate adjustable support belt (optional, used when you're walking or standing). The front of the shirt has a little pocket for the baby's lower legs. It is made of a wicking 90% polyester and 10% spandex and feels similar to UnderArmor fabric. It worked well in cold weather, but the shirt was definitely warm and sweaty once the hot, humid summer weather began. A short sleeve or tank top option would be a great addition to the NüRoo line, I think!

I received a M/L size, and I'd definitely recommend choosing the smaller of two sizes if you're in between. I'm a solid medium (US size 10, sometimes 8) and if I were any smaller, I'd choose the smaller size.

To put the baby in, you put your arms in the sleeves, place the baby in the pocket, and close each side. Then attach the support belt to secure the baby's weight. Like this:

NuRoo Pocket: Demo Video from NuRoo Baby on Vimeo.

I really, really wanted to fall in love with the NüRoo Pocket. I love babywearing and I love doing skin-to-skin with my newborns. I liked it, but I also had some frustrations with the shirt. After a while, the support belt gave me a backache. It pulls all the weight forward onto your lower back. Ivy would also gradually slip down, no matter how far I tightened the belt or how tight I fastened the shirt.

I think the biggest drawback is the timing of when I received the NüRoo Pocket. By 4 weeks postpartum, I was fully back into my normal, active life. The NüRoo Pocket is best for those early, snuggly weeks when you're (ideally) resting and keeping off your feet. I would have used it every day right after Ivy's birth.

Here's a picture of Ivy snuggled into the NüRoo. I took it last week. I'm guessing she's at the upper limit of what the shirt can carry. She's nice and chubby :) Sorry for the picture quality--I had to cajole Zari into snapping photos while we were packing for vacation.

I found that you can also use a sash or scarf of your own in lieu of a support belt--a great way to change the look of the NüRoo!

Retails for $59.99 at Babies R Us. 
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Interview with NüRoo Pocket founders

As co-founders of NüRoo, Hope and Daniela have 8 kids between them, are certified by the US Institute for Kangaroo Care (USIKC) and passionate about attachment parenting. Hence the tagline of their brand, "Closest to Mom. Best for Baby."

Hope, Daniela, and their eight children

Q: Tell us about you..

Our path to parenting couldn't have been more different. Hope struggled with conceiving and found her way through IVF, adoption and in the end natural child birth. Daniela became a mom to her husband's 1, 4 and 6 year olds prior to delivering their last two daughters. Our families are big, boisterous and nothing short of inspiring. Among the madness, we found each other and found NüRoo from our shared passion for the tie between mom and baby. Society does a good job making us second guess our intuition, and ironically medicine has further complicated the natural process. Instinctively, innately, we KNOW how to care for our babies, and our bodies are equipped with all the tools needed to do so.

Q: What made you think to create the NüRoo Pocket?

Hope: I was introduced to the practice of skin-to-skin contact by a nurse midwife at my time of delivery. Following the birth of my daughter, Elle was immediately placed on my chest, and my midwife began telling me all of the amazing physiologic benefits that skin-to-skin offers. I learned that in order to give and receive all of these advantages, she needed to be on my skin for an uninterrupted 60 minutes. That seemed reasonable until I arrived home and was greeted by my two very excited three-year-olds. I needed something that could help me give my baby the benefits of skin-to-skin, but allowed me to be active with my family.

Daniela: When Hope shared her thoughts for the Pocket, I couldn't stop spouting off ideas. I too practiced Skin-to-Skin for the benefits offered to me and my babies but not nearly as much as I wanted to. I loved the promise of the product and envisioned a brand designed to offer early advantages and foster the bond between mom + baby.

The NüRoo Pocket helps baby transition from the womb to the outside world.

Q: How did you go from concept to finished product?

Over the course of a sleepless 9 months, we conducted countless test fits with moms and newborns, using their feedback and working with a seamstress to perfect our design. We took the final prototypes to an industry veteran to help us land at the right factory . There are so many things to consider (price, standards compliance, labeling, quality of construction, turn around time, duty fees, etc.) that working with someone to guide you through this process is invaluable. To those mompreuners in the making, if you don’t have existing relationships that can help with this, seek out a sourcing agent who can see you through.

Q: You refer to Skin-to-Skin Contact as a "practice" -- why is that? 

Believe it or not, there's a right and wrong way to do it. The benefits of skin-to-skin are derived from stimulating the c-afferent nerves. There are a lot of misconceptions around this. Not all skin-on-skin contact delivers the same benefits (i.e.: baby across mom's belly or their cheek to her chest). Because there's a proper position and suggested duration of time, skin-to-skin Contact is intentional and thus said to be a "practice."

Simply by holding baby vertically on your bare chest, you enhance your baby's immunity, improve sleep and weight gain, and stabilize their heart rate and breathing, all while speeding your own recovery time, reducing your risk for postpartum depression and increasing your milk supply. The benefits begin immediately with less crying/colic and temperature regulation. During the 60 minutes after the birth, skin-to-skin contact accelerates your baby's brain development.

The newborn stage is coined the 4th trimester because of how immature baby is. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends skin-to-skin immediately after birth until the first feeding and throughout the postpartum period. 40 years of research tells us that skin-to-skin should happen for as often, as long, and as frequently as possible.

Q: With 40 years of research behind the practice, why now?

As you've said, "institutional inertia" is all too common. (Daniela): "With my delivery in 2009, baby was separated immediately after birth for routine procedures then placed skin-to-skin until the first breastfeeding. The benefits of Skin-to-Skin weren't talked about. Thankfully, with the baby friendly initiatives, the surgeon general's call to action and the CDC's recommendation for Skin-to-Skin, hospitals are finally implementing new protocol. After the birth of my youngest in 2011, my baby was immediately placed on my chest and the benefits of skin-to-skin were explained in the mom + baby unit."

In an effort to drive awareness, we're on a mission to educate both moms and providers. We're attending key national organization conferences (ILCA, ACNM, USLCA, etc.) and have met and spoken with amazing women doing tremendous things for the well-being of mom and baby. We're collaborating with those trying to evoke change. There is a direct correlation between skin-to-skin and breastfeeding rates in relation to initiation, duration and exclusivity ties. The research speaks volumes, and finally our nation is responding. Every mom wants what is best for her baby. Once she has the knowledge, the product gives her the time.

Stay tuned for my review of the NüRoo Pocket in a few days!

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Ivy is 3 months!

We're enjoying grandparents and cousins for the next week and a half. Zari, Dio, and Inga are collapsing at night, exhausted from full days of riding bikes and scooters, jumping on the trampoline, catching butterflies (Zari), and playing nonstop with cousins.

Ivy is such an alert, curious, and interactive baby now. She smiles and vocalizes and has made some noises that are getting close to laughs.

She is super strong and super wiggly. A few nights ago, I woke up to nurse her. She was on the floor next to the bed (not enough room on the queen bed at my parent's house). She had wiggled down a few feet, turned 90 degrees, flipped over onto her stomach, and somehow put a blanket over her head. All while secured snugly in her straightjacket swaddle wrap. And I had placed rolled-up towels on either side to keep her from rolling over!

She always wants to stand up and watch what's going on. Some of the cousins were watching Planet Earth today. I sat her in the corner of the couch, and she stared at the screen, transfixed. Now she knows a lot about penguins and polar bears.

She definitely knows who her parents are! She fusses if I hand her over to my sister (which is hilarious, because she also has 4 kids and adores babies). First Ivy will get a pouty face, then her lips will quiver, and then she will start crying. As soon as Eric or I scoop her back up, she's fine again. 

She's started grabbing onto things: hair, clothes. She also clings on to me. I love her little "hugs." She loves taking baths, often in the kitchen sink and sometimes with her siblings. She loves sitting on our laps, too. 

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Review of Ameda & Medela breast pumps

Until recently, I've been using an Ameda Purely Yours double electric breast pump. It's an old hand-me-down pump from a friend, loaned to my sister for a while, and then mailed back to me. Despite its age, it still performs perfectly.

I have the no-frills pump only version that retails for around $160. You can also buy the pump with a backpack or carryall; both come with lots of accessories. A One-Hand Breast Pump adapter (around $20) lets you turn the pump into a hand pump.

The Ameda Purely Yours pump runs on AC power and does not have battery backup. You can adjust both the suction and the cycle frequency. The cycle frequency can be set at 30, 40, 50, or 60 cycles per minute. (Cycle frequency, or how many times the machine pumps per minute, turns out to be crucial in expressing milk efficiently. More on this later.)

The Ameda breast pump has a sealed system. It has a silicone diaphragm that slips inside the top of the flange part. This means that no liquids, mold spores, or bacteria can get from the pump into the tubing/motor or vice-versa.

You can unplug one of the tubes and pump just one breast at a time. I sometimes did this during morning pumping sessions when Ivy is nursing on the other side. I now double pump right before I go to bed.

The Ameda pump has very few parts and is easy to clean: silicone diphraghm, pump flange, valve, and bottle. You can machine wash the flange and bottle. I usually hand wash the valves.

One of the pump flanges started to crack last month. Not bad considering many, many years of use.

Pros of the Ameda Purely Yours:

• Reliable design that lasts for many years (my own anecdotal experience and from talking with other women who've used it)
• Easy to clean with few parts
• Sealed, hygenic design to prevent contamination
• Could be a multi-user pump (not FDA-approved for this purpose, but I would be comfortable doing so)

Cons

• Cycle frequency, even at the highest setting, is fairly low

After Ivy was born, I took advantage of the new health insurance regulations that mandate breast pump coverage. I had no choice about which model or brand I received. I tried to get a Hygeia EnJoye ($239 and up), since I've heard such good things about them (very durable, FDA-approved for multiple users) but had no luck despite many phone calls to my insurance company.

I ended up receiving a Medela Personal Double Pump. It's similar to the Medela Pump In Style Advanced ($239 and up), except you can adjust the suction but not the cycle frequency. (FYI, you can't find the Personal Double Pump on the Medela website. It's sold only through medical supply companies, usually via health insurance plans. There's also an "Advanced" model of this pump that lets you select the cycle frequency.)

I tried to find a retail price for this specific pump, but had no luck. It's only available through medical supply companies and not sold directly to consumers. I've seen some listed on Ebay for around $150.

The Medela pump has slightly more parts than the Ameda, but it's still fairly simple to clean (unlike the Avent Isis manual pump, which I tried once. It had about 200* different small parts and was its own jigsaw puzzle.)

When I started using the Medela Personal Double Pump, I immediately noticed that I could pump super quickly and express a lot more volume during each session. Was it the vacuum pressure? The cycle frequency? The way a Medela pumps compared to an Ameda? I did some experimentation and concluded that it boiled down to cycle frequency.

The Medela Personal Double Pump comes pre-set at approximately 75 cycles/minute (by my highly scientific method of counting while watching a clock!). I called Medela to confirm cycle frequency, but they were unable to quote me an exact number. Ameda's customer service confirmed that cycle frequencies are 30, 40, 50, and 60 cycles/minute. I'd been pumping at 50 cycles/minute with the Ameda and hadn't thought of adjusting cycle frequency.

FYI: the Pump In Style Advance model offers a two-stage pumping action. The first stage has a range of 50-200 mmHg and 120 cycles/minute, then the second stage has 100-250 mmHg and 54-78 cycles/minute.

The Medela pumps are not sealed systems, so any number of fluids or bacteria can travel through the tubing and into the motor...and then back out into your breastmilk. This is the biggest drawback to any Medela pump. I'm still using it more than the Ameda because the higher cycle frequency is so much more effective at getting my milk to let down. But if I had a pump that offered both a sealed system AND higher cycle frequency, I'd jump on it.

Pros of the Medela Personal Double Pump:

• Motor and plug come in a carrying case
• Higher cycle frequency than the Ameda (75 cycles/minute); more efficient at expressing milk

Cons

• Not a sealed system; potential for contamination via tubing and motor
• Not suitable for mulitple users
• Cannot adjust cycle frequency, only vacuum pressure

Overall, I don't have a clear preference for one over the other. I definitely like a faster cycle frequency and wish the Ameda offered a higher range. On the other hand, I really dislike that Medela's pumps are not sealed. Either of these will do the job, so if your insurance only provides one or the other, you will be fine. But I'm still on the search for a pump that gives me both higher cycle frequencies AND the assurance that my milk will not be contaminated. Any recommendations?

* slight exaggeration

Disclosure: I was not paid to write this review, and I did not receive either of these pumps as review items. The Ameda was a hand-me-down and the Medela was provide through my insurance company. 

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"Birth Story" giveaway winner

Liz (comment #75) won a copy of the documentary Birth Story! If you didn't win, head to the website and buy your own copy. I think you'll enjoy it :)

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360 ounces

I donated a large grocery sack full of pumped milk to my CNM's practice. I've been pumping for about 2 months and getting around 6-8 oz/session. That's at least 360 fluid ounces or close to 3 gallons/12 liters. I finally have freezer space again!

I pump once a day. I used to pump in the morning, but just switched over to pumping right before bed. Ivy has a long stretch when she first goes down at night, so it keeps me from getting too engorged.

Even though I have a lot going on, I really wanted to donate breastmilk this time. And since I'm not planning on getting pregnant again, I could probably keep pumping & donating for a long time if I wanted to (my milk supply plummets when I'm pregnant).

Here's Ivy on 2 1/2 months of breastmilk. I love her big button eyes.

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If I were to have another baby...

...I'd have someone make a professional birth video. Like this one by Ceci Jane:



It makes me want to do it all over again. Except, as Eric reminds me, "babies grow up and you have to take care of them." Oh yeah.

What are some of your favorite birth videos? Please share!
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Review and giveaway of the documentary "Birth Story: Ina May Gaskin and the Farm Midwives"

I finally had the chance to watch Birth Story: Ina May Gaskin and The Farm Midwives last night. It was such a pleasure. I came away with the impression--sappy as it might seem--that we really need more love and gentleness in this world.

The DVD follows the development of the Farm in Summertown, TN and the growth of Ina May Gaskin and other midwives at the Farm. It combines contemporary footage of Ina May's work as a midwife, wife, and globe-trotting activist with amazing archival footage of life and births at the Farm.

I knew a lot about the history behind Ina May and the Farm, yet I learned so much from watching this. I loved watching the "old" births back in the early days of the Farm. So much hair everywhere! Huge beards, waist-long braids, and of course body hair :)

The movie closed with a lovely modern-day birth attended by Ina May and another younger midwife from The Farm. I watched the mama push our her baby in the tub, almost exactly as I did with my last three children, and remembered all over again the sensations of birth. It made me want to do it all over again.

The DVD is available for $19.95. You can also access it online and as a HD download for $12.99. If you buy the online version for any amount over $13.99, you will receive extra bonus content!



I'm thrilled to offer a giveaway of this DVD to any North American resident! If you'd like to enter, leave a comment below. If you've already seen the film, please share your impressions and reactions.  If not, tell me why you'd like to see it. Be sure to leave contact info in case you are the winner.

Giveaway ends Friday, June 14 at 5 pm EST.

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Upcoming reviews

I've been testing out all sorts of items with this last pregnancy, birth, and postpartum period since it probably is the last time . . . sniffle . . . Some I bought, some were passed down to me, and others were given to me to review.

Here's a peek at the things I'll be reviewing over the next several weeks:

Nursing pajamas and nightgowns
Leading Lady nursing chemise in Azalea Pink
Breast is Best Gray Angel Maternity & Nursing Nightgown
Eliseo Satin Rosabella Nightgown
Majamas Blossom Nursing Pajama Set

Leading Lady nursing bras

Books & DVDs
Memoirs of a Singing Birth (ebook)
Bumptabulous: 20 Moms Expose Pregnancy (book)
The Face of Birth (DVD)
Dance of the Womb (DVD)
Birth Story; Ina May Gaskin & The Farm (DVD)

Breast Pumps
Medela double electric breast pump
Ameda Purely Yours breast pump

Postpartum belly wraps and hip stabilizers
Shrinkx Hips Post Pregnancy Belt
Vespa & the Ladybird Post Pregnancy Belly Wrap

NuRoo Pocket babywearing shirt

The Birth Relaxation Kit
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Climbers

What do you do about climbers (otherwise known as 2-year-olds who climb out of their cribs and come downstairs at night multiple times when they should be sleeping)? It might be time to put Inga in a real bed, since she can easily climb in and out of her crib. But still wouldn't solve the not-staying-in-bed issue.

What do you suggest? Lock her door from the outside? Put a child-proof cover over the doorknob? Zari slept in a real bed from early on and never really had issues "sneaking" out. Dio stayed in his crib until he was 3 and never figured out how to climb out. So this is a new problem for us, even though we have 4 kids!

I also wonder if I should cut out Inga's nap and hope that she's so tired at night she won't stay up for several hours escaping. But then I'd lose my quiet time in the afternoon. Not sure if I'm ready to give that up yet!
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Obstetrician seeking a job in the Nashville area

A few days ago I had the pleasure of chatting on the phone with an obstetrician. He's a wonderful (and wickedly funny) physician who strongly supports patient choice, autonomy, and informed consent. He's currently looking to relocate to the Nashville area and would love any leads on job opportunities there.

A bit more about the obstetrician: he's been practicing OB/GYN for over two decades. He is currently the only physician in a large metropolitan area offering vaginal breech, VBAC, and vaginal twins. He strongly values keeping these choices available to women. He also practices cost containment and keeping unnecessary procedures and tests to a minimum. This hasn't kept him in good graces with his peers and the hospitals he works at, since both physicians and health care institutions profit from doing more procedures, not fewer. He is a skilled vaginal surgeon and prides himself on continuing to offer things like vaginal hysterectomies, rather than turning to robotic surgery.

He loves working with midwives and doing consultations. He especially enjoys patients who bring in midwives to serve as doulas in the hospital. He likes finding reasons to be "late" so the midwife gets to do the catching :)

Some awesome quotes from our telephone conversation:

"My favorite delivery is the one that I miss."

"I like being useless."

What he's looking for in Nashville:

He wants to live and work within a 60-mile radius of Nashville, TN (one of his daughters lives there, and he'd like to be close to family). This includes Bowling Green, OH to the N, Clarksville to the NW, Lewisburg to the S, and Manchester to the SE.

He wants to join a practice that appreciates the skills and values he has to offer. He's also interested in being involved with birth centers and in working with midwives.

If you're a physician, nurse, midwife, doula, lactation consultant, or other associated health care professional in or near Nashville, please let me know if you have any suggestions or leads on job openings. He'd also like recommendations on specific hospitals or practices that would be a good fit for his skills and practice philosophies. If you email me, I can put you in touch with him directly. Let's do our best to find him a fulfilling new job!

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Ivy is 2 months (and change)

Zari finished kindergarten yesterday, so we're officially on summer holidays now. I've been doing lots of gardening. So far, here's what I've done...

• moved all the asparagus plants to one location
• planted 20 white cabbages, 3 red cabbages, 3 cauliflower, 8 tomatoes, 2 raspberries, 6 romaine lettuce, 10 basil, rosemary, oregano, cilantro
• transplanted chives, lavender, fruit bushes from our other house (june berry, red currant, josta berry, honey berry), and about a zillion hostas
• dug up some areas of weedy lawn near the house, installed brick edging, and planted perennials
• planted 4 more dwarf fruit trees in our orchard, for a total of 7. I'd like to add some peaches and one more variety of apple
• built some large cages covered with chicken wire to keep the squirrels out of our strawberries (they're working!)

...and what I still need to do:

• till our main garden area (adding in compost, peat moss, and perlite to the heavy soil), which consists of eight 12x4' beds
• plant the main vegetable garden with Masai bush beans, edamame, broccoli, brussels sprouts, kale, beets, watermelon, and other yummy things
• plant some grapes if they're still in the garden centers...I'd love to have a few varieties to eat
• transplant my sage & garlic (they're currently residing in one of the flower beds)
• mulch all of our vegetable and flower gardens to keep the weeds at bay 
• try to trap the squirrels and rabbits that are eating our garden

Yes, I really love working in the garden. It's mentally relaxing and provides a good workout at the same time.

Ivy is a roly-poly baby now. She's pleasantly chubby but not crazy chubby like Inga was. She smiles all the time and has settled into a fairly predictable routine of nursing, being awake, and napping in 2-hour cycles. And she lets me put her down for naps now! She goes to bed between 7-8 pm and has a nice long sleep before waking to nurse, often midnight or 1 am and sometimes as late as 3 am. Then she nurses every 2+ hours the rest of the night. This just started last week.

She loves playing Patty Cake and The Itsy Bitsy Spider and Once There Was A Snowman. She's starting "talking" to us with little gurgles and coos.

Inga is starting to be very temperamental. It's such a drastic change from her normal easygoing self. Maybe it's because she's getting 3 molars at once? Or maybe it's just that she's 2 years old and wants to assert her independence all the time. "No, my do it!" is a constant refrain. Fortunately she calms down easily if I tell her "Ask the right way, please."

Oh, and some good news: we have an accepted offer on our old brick house, the one where Dio and Inga were born. We'll be closing in a few weeks! I'm glad to get rid of one of our properties, although I will miss the master bathroom that we remodeled when I was 7 months pregnant with Inga...

The kids horsing around in the bath. Zari said she was a zombie.

And finally, a typical morning. Kids are tumbling around showing me their "tricks," Ivy is hanging out on the bed kicking her legs while I'm getting ready.

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What to expect after your baby is born

A Postpartum Survival Guide

Let's talk about how to survive and thrive in the postpartum period. For me, postpartum life has always been blissful and magical. Nursing...cuddly newborn making little squeaks and grunts...being able to lie on my back and stomach...more nursing = bliss. It's my favorite stage by far.

nursing Inga a few days postpartum

But I know that many women struggle to adjust to life with a newborn baby. It can be a terrible shock after all that planning and preparation for the birth. You have a baby in your arms, and WHAT ON EARTH DO YOU DO NOW?

So today, let's talk about all the postpartum stuff that you wish you'd known, or that you figured out, or that surprised you, or that blindsided you. Let's talk about what to really expect postpartum for yourself, your baby, and the rest of your family. Let's share our tips and tricks for an easier postpartum adjustment.

Here are some things I've figured out:

Make a list of your postpartum responsibilities. Keep it short. 
*Everything else* other people should be doing for you. My postpartum responsibilities are:
1. Nurse the baby
2. Stay in bed and snuggle with the baby
3. Take pictures of the baby
4. Read books and putz around on the internet
5. Eat dark chocolate

I'm quite serious about #5 (but it has to be at least 70% and preferably 85% cocoa). That's really all I do for the first few weeks. I don't look after the other kids. I don't prepare meals. I don't do laundry. I don't really do anything except hole up in my room and admire my baby. Now, sometimes I feel a bit stir crazy and I have to *make* myself stay in bed.

The first recovery is probably the hardest and longest
I was really, really sore for weeks on end after I had Zari. It hurt to sit and walk for a long time. But after my other three children were born, I hardly felt like I'd had a baby. Give me a day or two, and I was almost totally recovered except for the postpartum bleeding.There's just something about having had a baby before that makes subsequent recoveries so much easier (unless, of course, you have something unusual happen like a c-section or shoulder dystocia or vacuum extraction or whatever).

Learn how to nurse lying down ASAP
This was a lifesaver. It took me about a month to master after Zari and Dio were born. But with Inga and Ivy, we nursed lying down from day one. It is seriously one of the BEST THINGS EVER.

Co-sleep
I don't care how you do it: in the bed, with a co-sleeper, or even with a crib or bassinet in the same room. The more you can stay in bed at night, the better you'll sleep. I usually get out of bed once at night--and that's to use the bathroom and get a drink of water. Otherwise I get to stay cozy and warm under the blankets all night long. I think I would DIE if I didn't co-sleep. I can't imagine having to get out of bed multiple times per night, sit in a rocking chair and nurse the baby, put the baby down and settle it to sleep, then walk back into my bed and go back to sleep. That sounds positively horrific.

Size matters
Get a king-size bed if at all possible. I feel way too crowded co-sleeping on a queen bed.

Learn about breastfeeding before the baby is born. Get help ASAP if a problem arises. 
Nursing has gone very smoothly with all four of my babies. Some of it was luck (no tongue-ties, no routine practices that undermined breastfeeding, etc.), while some came from learning as much as I could before my first baby was born. I felt really well-prepared and knew how to get help if I needed it. If you can, spend some time with nursing mothers. Watch them latch their babies on. Ask them questions. Watch them some more. It's so helpful to see breastfeeding up-close and in person.

Wait to buy nursing bras
You don't know what size you'll end up after the baby is born. Wait at least a week or two to buy your nursing bras, because you'll change sizes so much in those first weeks. You'll have crazy huge porn boobs once your mature milk comes in around days 3-4-5. Then they'll settle down to a more manageable size. You can buy your sleep bras in advance, since they're stretchy and less supportive.

Towels are very handy
I put a bath towel underneath me and the baby when we're in bed at night. It catches the inevitable fluids (leaking milk, blood, spit up, pee, poop...) and saves me from having to change the sheets every day. Because leaks happen. All the time. I also put a crib-sized mattress protector underneath the fitted sheet. If we have a big leak and need to change the sheets, this protects the large mattress pad.

Double up
So, I finally figured out how to avoid bleeding all over the bed every night. Before I go to bed, I put an extra pad in the back of my underwear. Do this maybe the first week or two, or until your flow lightens up.

Learn how to ask for help
When someone says, "If there's anything I can do, just let me know," I've become really good about saying, "Yes, actually, I really need help with ________." Don't be polite and turn down help.

Get a sling
(Or a Moby wrap, or an Ergo, or a mei tai...) I don't know how I'd survive postpartum without one, especially when my help leaves and I'm on my own with a newborn and several other little children.

Now for some crowdsourcing...

Time to share your postpartum stories (the good, the bad, and the ugly). Tell us all about what it's really like to have a new baby. Share any tips or tricks you've learned. What do you wish you'd done differently, or known beforehand?
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Reflections at 8 weeks postpartum

I feel fully "back to life" again. My postpartum bleeding has finally stopped this last week. It was done in 10-12 days with my first two. Not so with Inga and Ivy.

I started exercising today, and I soon realized that I have no core! My stomach is still really squishy and bulging, more than I remember it being with the other kids. If you're interested, I run sprint intervals based on this research. Basically, I run 30 second sprints at maximum intensity with 2-3 minutes recovery, x 4-6 repetitions. I've been doing a lot of gardening, too.

Ivy is starting to settle into a routine at night. I usually can put her down around 8pm and have a few hours of baby-free evening time. I'll often head outside and garden until it gets too dark or until the bugs drive me back inside. Eric and I are watching old episodes of MI-5 (a.k.a. Spooks). Ivy nurses every 2-3 hours at night. Just what I'd expect at her age. She sleeps really well in between nursing, so I feel very well rested.

She also sleeps really well with her grandpa!

In her "baby jail", a.k.a. swaddle wrap.

Her daytime schedule still has no discernible pattern. Sometimes she'll nap for 20 minutes, other times for 2-3 times that long. I remember that my other kids usually settled into a predictable routine around 4 months.

Ivy started smiling when she was 5 1/2 weeks old. They're still fleeting, but I've seen lots more the past few days. I'm glad to have these exciting milestones. They make up for the happy-sad feelings I get when my infants turn into babies and my babies into toddlers...and on and on.

Now for some birth analysis...

I suspect that Ivy might have been posterior the whole labor and pushing stage, until about 5 minutes before the birth. I had constant rectal pressure almost the whole labor...not the "I have to puuuuuush" pressure, just icky uncomfortable pressure that never subsided. I've never had this with my other labors. I think that's also why I didn't feel the endorphin rush between contractions. When I showed my birth video to a group of Home Birth Summit participants, one of the OBs said Ivy was likely posterior and finally rotated about 5 minutes before the birth in that gigantic contraction that brought her down. There's no way to know for sure, but there are so many little things that all point towards that possibility. If so, no wonder why it was my most challenging labor!

More family pictures from our surprise visit to Minnesota:

 

Dio's Angry Bird birthday cake. Really simple. Peanut butter bars were the building blocks, and mini cupcakes with green frosting were the pigs. All on top of a dark chocolate tart (for the adults!). He threw some Angry Bird toys at the structure until it all collapsed.

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Special discount for the ECV & Vaginal Breech Workshops

There is less than one month remaining before the ECV, Vaginal Breech, and NRP workshops in Niceville, FL!


We are offering two special perks for new registrations:

• Extended early-bird discount through May 24
• The next 5 registrants receive an infant scale sling of their choice from Second Womb Slings

If you've been thinking of attending, now is the time to act! Dr. O'Neill is a fantastic instructor. You will leave feeling more confident in your ability to safely attend (and risk out) a vaginal breech birth. Even if you do not offer planned breeches in your practice, you will greatly benefit from the hands-on training in the event of a surprise breech. As we all know, meconium happens if you're in the birth business.

Oh, and look at some of the beautiful new batiks I just bought for the infant scale slings...

Disclosure: The ECV & breech workshops are volunteer-run programs. The conference organizers have invested significant personal funds to cover program expenses.

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Cardinal movements of the breech baby

#breech
Day 2

Jane Evans:

Cardinal Movements of the Breech Baby

I finally got in touch with Jane Evans about posting her lecture on the cardinal movements of the breech baby. She gave me the go-ahead, so here it is!

In this video, UK midwife Jane Evans explains the cardinal movements of the breech baby through the maternal pelvis when the mother is in an upright position. This was an abbreviated version of her physiological breech birth lecture. Please visit her earlier presentation for written notes.

During this presentation, Jane Evans showed photos of upright breech births. We did not have permission to film these images. Other footage of interest:

• Frank Breech Home Birth of Eden, shows an upright breech birth attended by an obstetrician.
• Footling breech vaginal birth in hospital, mother on hands & knees 

If you have other pictures or videos of upright breech births, please link to them in the comments.
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Some Mother's Day awesomeness

I'm the first one up this morning. Ivy woke up to nurse at 6 am and I couldn't get back to sleep. So I watched this clip from Stephen Colbert about the newest trend of going diaperless:



During church, I'm going to fill out this FmH Mother's Day Bingo card. I'll give one to Zari, too, to keep her occupied. If I hear anyone say "all women are mothers, if even they aren't mothers" I think I will scream.

I've never really cared for Mother's Day. When I got married, I was trying not to have children for the first 5 years. Then we had several years of unexpected infertility. Then, once I had kids, I resented how our culture gives lip service once a day to mothers but doesn't otherwise do much to support mothering. Read more at Mother's Day Blues.

What are you doing for Mother's Day? 
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Downton Abbey napkins

When my mom came to help after Ivy was born, she got us hooked on Downton Abbey. Wouldn't it be fun--and tiresome after a while--to dress up for dinner every night? Tiara and long gloves and diamonds. A far cry from dinner at our house most nights. 

For my mom's birthday, I made her a set of Downton Abbey napkins. I wrote some of the wittiest quotes from Violet Crawley onto vintage linen napkins that I bought years ago. I followed the instructions from Design Mom's tutorial.

This was a simple, fun project requiring only a few supplies: fabric marker, lettering guide, and napkins. When I was stenciling the letters, I stretched the napkins out and fastened them to my work surface with masking tape. The weave on my napkins made the fabric marker bleed a little, but the overall effect was still quite nice.

If you had the time and skills, these quotes would look amazing with hand-embroidery.

I have several more sets of vintage linen napkins at home. I think I'll make myself another set (or two..or three) when I get home!
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May in Minnesota

We're visiting my parents in Minnesota this week. On the day that we drove in, they received a record snowfall. We saw downed trees and broken branches all over town. Crazy! Even May in Minnesota isn't usually this cold and snowy. But the sun is out now and the snow is gone.

Our first big road trip in the Mazda5 went pretty well. Ivy slept most of the time (except for nursing breaks). True to form, Dio was the worst traveler! We can't fit suitcases in the back hatch area, so instead we packed everything in cloth shopping bags, one per person. We stacked them up and with a little pushing and shoving, managed to close the door. We didn't need to put anything between the seats. So it's nice to know that we can fit a reasonable amount of baggage in this ultra-minivan.

All of us siblings came in from across the country to celebrate my mom's 60th birthday. It was super secret, so I couldn't say anything of our travel plans here or even to our kids. We have 10 adults and 11 grandkids in one house. Fun times.

On Saturday I met up for lunch with a midwife I knew back in my Iowa City years. She was in town doing prenatals, so we caught up on news and birthy stuff. We're already brainstorming for a breech  workshop in the Twin Cities area in summer 2014!

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Seeking breech catchers in Calgary!

I just received an email from a 2nd-time mom from Calgary, AB who just discovered her baby is breech. Here's more info on her situation:

At 38.5 weeks, I recently discovered my baby is breech after finally deciding on a home water birth and making all the preparations. I was quite shocked. I had an ECV a couple of days ago, and the baby simply would not turn, for no apparent reason, despite lots of drugs and a very aggressive approach. I am continuing to do some Webster chiropractic treatments, and buying myself some time. The OBs were quick to offer a scheduled c-section, but I don't favor that option. They have told me that I can wait until I go into labor and then show up at the hospital hoping for a doctor willing to do a vaginal breech delivery. But there aren't a lot of OBs with experience doing breech vaginal birth (since it hasn't been offered for the last 10 years here, and only recently has the option opened up again). (My midwife can't offer me a home birth with a breech baby). Unfortunately, if I show up at the hospital and the doctor isn't comfortable/experienced with breech, then I may be required to undergo a c-section!

Let's put our heads together and find her more options before her baby arrives! If you can help, leave a comment or send me an email. 
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